Get Off My Lawn Podcast #50 | My phone addiction has reached critical mass

Today’s episode is mostly about having kids and how they go from being cute guys who say crazy things to thinking you’re an idiot. Having them hang out with kids who have nannies doesn’t help. I worry that it teaches a culture where adults are your servants. I wonder how the children of these nannies feel about their mom being away. Anyway, this heavy subject matter is peppered with stories about drawing on someone’s face when they’re passed out.

1 Kesä 201837min

Today I talk about two friends of mine who are in big trouble. I don’t know Roseanne very well but we’ve spoken a few times and she’s never come across as racist - more just obsessed with Israel and the safety of Jewish people. That being said, she should have known the left was waiting to devour any mistake she made and she should have known using the term ape anywhere near a black person was going to explode minds. I know Tommy very well and his case is completely different. The British government is abusing their power and jailing him for a year for simply approaching a group of Muslim pedophiles and saying, “All right, lads. How you feeling about your verdict?"

29 Touko 201838min

On today’s Memorial Day podcast we discuss what it’s like to date a woman with spaghetti legs.

25 Touko 201840min

To switch things up, I tried recording this podcast in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep. It’s about being stoned and how hallucinogenic drugs can help expand your mind - permanently. I haven’t done LSD in about 30 years but whenever I have the hiccups I just concentrate and say, “I don’t want these anymore” and they go away. This is because of acid. Steve Jobs agrees. Well, “agreed."

22 Touko 201845min

This rambling hodgepodge of a show was meant to be an involved look at how we grow as adolescents but it quickly degenerated into me punching a boom box in frustration while trying to play tapes of my old bands.

18 Touko 201845min

You ever notice that when a newspaper writes about your hometown or something you know a lot about, they get everything wrong? That’s true of all media. It’s also true of the entire justice system. All my friends are being threatened with jail time for crimes they didn’t commit but we are not going to let that happen.

11 Touko 201842min

I’ve lost almost a pound a day with a new diet I invented called “Beer Starvation.” All you do is grab a beer and nurse it every time you’re starving. The only time you can eat is at dinner. That’s it. The end result is a smaller stomach which means, when you finally do eat, you only need a few bites. All this fancy exercise and paleo this and gluten that is just lazy people trying to cheat the basic truth that all you have to do to lose weight is burn more calories than you take in.

8 Touko 201830min