603 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

One of the great things about our show is that both Mexicans and Blacks like it. They can both tolerate listening to it and not get upset. It's also what some say about Art Laboe's radio show inside jail.  We got a bunch of prison shout outs, you know what I'm sayin? And we revist some of the all-time great know what I'm sayin's. Shout out to Butter and Mr. Criminal. One love, homie.  Plus, how can you tell when an online fart is manufactured? Is there anything that can be done to PROVE what we're witnessing? We make a plea to you, the little mommy, to help us get a return message from Gloria Estefan. Can you ask her to write back to us? And we're getting another dog - this one won't be a Huxtable. Check out our name options on the show! Be the JEANS! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Touko 20151h 18min

We recorded this on Cinco De Mayo so we hope you had a fun, safe time celebrating. We visit some audio of a Mexican gangbanger named "Little Boy" talking about shooting a dude in the face to get you in the mood - Margarita, anyone?! Plus we weigh in on candy bars - are you an immigrant or do you eat what people born 'round these parts eat? We got that Chris Gaines doc you know you wanna hear - Do you LIKE THAT? And it turns out vocal fry isn't just frustrating to friends and family - employers hate it too.  Farts? We got those too.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Touko 20151h 35min

It's true that Choosy Mom's Choose Jif, but REAL Mom's do too. Are you REAL?? ChristJeansa and Tommy return from his birth city and they have some stories. Plane dumps and did you know that coconut butter can be used as a lubricant? Tom's family has tested it.  Pastor Manning lets us inside Starbucks secrets - just how much semen are they putting in your drink?  We have highlights from our LIVE show in Cincy with Geoff Tate AKA Denim on Denim AKA Hot Dogs and Gatorade for LYFE. You'll find out how many hot dogs he's been eating.  We haven't heard back yet from Gloria Estefan, but we're hoping by putting our song out there that she will respond soon.  Love,  The Miami Fart Machine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Huhti 20151h 32min

Be careful if you like to drink Starbucks like the mommies do. There's a secret that we've all just learned of and that is that Starbucks coffees and lattes CAN get you pregnant! It's true. Pastor Manning has informed us to just be careful because there are gay men masturbating into your drinks at Starbucks and that's why it's delicious but also dangerous.  Who knew that Shane Lee could be such a polarizing figure?!? We dive into some of the emails from listeners - some weren't too happy with us! Plus is #WipeGate ever REALLY over? This time our closest family and friends weigh in. What does Maria say? Cousin Juli? Even Charo lets us know what time it is.  And the debut of the Miami Fart Machine will surely have you whistling this hit for days to come. Do we have one the top selling artists of all time on the phone? Si, Senora! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Huhti 20151h 50min

It's Shane Lee's world and we're all just hanging out around him.  If angels do exist there's no question that Mr. Lee is one of them. With a voice so pitch perfect you'll find yourself questioning what is art, what is soul, what is beauty? The answer: it's Shane Lee.  In this episode we dive deep in to Lee's world and range of other-worldly talent. We also reveal some very sad, yet unavoidable news to the world of adult entertainment. Get your kleenex ready - you'll be wiping up more than usual.  Plus Ghost Kru and Obe1 are back with tracks that honor, who else, Shane Lee.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Huhti 20151h 48min

Need a recommendation on where to eat, what to see? It's a good thing The Concierge is in the building. Never any half-stepping when the Full Charge is here.  This is one of the most action packed episodes in history. We actually feel a little guilty - about how funny and amazing this episode is. If you don't enjoy this then you have a serious head injury that is accompanied by very loose and low jeans.  Respect your mother OR get knocked out in the store she works in. Plus will wipegate ever get settled? We have Supreme Court Justice Top Dog laying down a clear RULING. How will America respond?!? Want a workout video to gain muscles, but isn't gay? We might have found your guy. Black Talk that stumps our ears is in full effect and a would you rather that might make you Vegan (Vagina).  Pull em up, yo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Huhti 20152h

It's time to try on an old pair.  Classic Jeans 45 covers some of your favorite moments. Like the morning show where they ask Tommy if he's "their mommy" and Tina's vomit phobia.  Jeans up forever.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1 Huhti 20151h 53min

Well, it's now undeniable. Wipegate is taking the world by storm and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it.  Shower straight from a brown?! Are you mad? Or maybe you're just TEAMTINA. Wipe like a person first? Are you human? Maybe you're TEAMTOMMY. The listeners, other comics, hell, even Web doctors weigh in on this one. Plus a song that will blow you away dedicated to your mothers! We talk Tommy's taste in (some) white music and a call from OMG Maria that will leave you, well, unsettled? She's bananas.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Maalis 20151h 48min