Ep. 227 – Codependence and Compassion, What's the Difference?

Illuminating the subtle but crucial difference between codependence and compassion, Jack outlines how to set boundaries and live from our unique truth.

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"Codependence means being an accomplice, a kind of complicity with someone who's acting in a self-destructive way, being dependent on their behavior, or supporting it somehow for your own security." – Jack Kornfield

In this episode, Jack sheds mindful light on:

• The subtle but crucial difference between compassion and codependence
• Trying to fix it or save someone instead of allowing them to taste the fruits of their karmas
• Feeling locked into supporting someone's destructive behavior
• The lack of feeling secure leading to needing to over-control
• Needing to fix someone else's problems because we can't live with it in ourself
• How we are all accomplices to a codependent society
• Mother Teresa and seeking to love the world instead of trying to fix it
• The necessity of balancing compassion practice with equanimity practice
• The spiritual importance of disharmony and the value of suffering
• Boundaries and the ability to say "no"
• Ownership, possessiveness, and the trouble with believing our roles
• The Bhagavad Gita and acting from our hearts without attachment to the fruit of the action
• Living our our unique truth amidst the mystery

Want to learn how to follow the Buddha’s path to freedom in the modern world? Sign up for Jack’s new online course Walking the Eightfold Path with Jack Kornfield beginning March 18!

"We are all heirs to our own karma, we have created our own lives. We can love and assist others, but in the end, no one can create a life for someone else, no one can change another person's fate. We are the ones that create what will happen for us." – Jack Kornfield

"Can we seek to love the world instead of trying to fix it? It is possible to be in a codependent relationship with the ills of the society, so we have to start looking within ourselves. What does it mean to do good? Mother Teresa taught in her work in Calcutta in the death and dying centers, 'We're not social workers. Our work is not to take people off the streets and clothes them and feed them. The government could do that. Our work is to bring to the people that we touch the spirit and the love of God that has touched us. The rest of it is just the vehicle to communicate that spirit.' It's a very different way of approaching solving a problem.'" – Jack Kornfield

This Dharma Talk from 9/1/1989 at was originally published on DharmaSeed.

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