The Grudge Clutch. Yikes!

Hey, listeners! I'm Charlotte, and you're listening to Revelation. My hope is that this podcast will give you a safe space to be honest about your feelings, and we can all learn from each other. Today's topic is something that I think we all struggle with at least a little bit: grudges. How often do we let something from years ago affect us today? How often do we hold onto things that are just not worth it? And how much better could our lives be if we let those things go? It's a topic that can be hard to talk about because you don't want to sound like you're complaining or being negative, but we're all human and sometimes we have grievances with other people that we need to work through in order to move on with our lives. How often do we let something from years ago affect us today? I'll be honest with you: I have a lot of regrets. I mean, a LOT. But sometimes, an event in my past will come up and it'll be like "oh yeah, that thing happened." And then I get to feel bad about it all over again. As humans, we're pretty good at holding grudges. We're also pretty good at bringing up old wounds—like when someone does something that makes us really mad or hurts our feelings. But what if we could just let go of these things from the past? What if we could just say "eh, whatever" and move on? It'd be nice, right? There's no reason to hold onto a grudge. Not only are they extremely toxic and bad for your mental health, but they can also be harmful to the person you're holding the grudge against (if they even know about it). They'll carry that burden around with them every day, and who knows what kind of toll that might take on them? It's not fair on them—or on you—for you to keep this up! So what can we do to let go of our grudges? Well, there are lots of ways, but I think the most important thing is to be honest with yourself about what you're holding onto. Because if we don't realize what's going on inside us, then we won't be able to do anything about it! So start by asking yourself: "What am I holding onto?" And then ask yourself: "Why am I holding onto it?" Let's face it—grudges are a real drag. They make us feel bad, they make us feel petty, and they make us feel like we're wasting time that could be spent on more productive things. So why do we hold onto them? It can be hard to let go of a grudge because it feels like giving in to the person who wronged you. But the truth is, holding onto a grudge is really just giving yourself permission to stay angry and bitter—and who needs that? Some common reasons for holding onto a grudge include revenge or wanting an apology from someone who hurt us—but those aren't the reasons why we should let go of our grudges. We should let go because it makes us feel better (and healthier) as people; because if we don't, then we trapped in that vicious cycle. Sometimes, it's hard to let go of them. But there are ways to make that process easier. 1) Keep a journal. Write down what made you angry in the first place, and then write down how you feel now that time has passed. If it helps, write down how you think you'll feel in the future if you don't let go of this grudge. 2) Do something nice for someone else as a way to let go of your own anger and resentment—and maybe even make amends with someone who was wronged by your grudge-holding ways! 3) Recognize that you have the power to let go. Grudges aren't something that are forced upon us by other people; they're a choice we make for ourselves. So if you want to let go, then you have the power to do so! 4) Understand why you're holding onto this grudge in the first place. Are you afraid that if you let go of your anger at someone else, then they will somehow get away with hurting you? If so, practice forgiving yourself for what happened and then forgive those around you too! I hope you've enjoyed this episode and have been inspired to get started with your own forgiveness practice. If you'd like to learn more about us, please check out hey r