How do I know I'm ready to change?

How do I know I'm ready to change?

zachspafford.com/freecall How can I tell that I’m ready to change? Costs outweigh the benefits. - Buffering provides something - Acknowledge those benefits. - How do you want to feel when you think about pornography - “Client said, I want to feel disgusted.” - That doesn’t acknowledge what pornography has done for you - - That also doesn’t acknowledge what it is costing you - It is just a judgement that makes you feel disgusted because you like pornography - So, honestly acknowledging the costs and the benefits of use will allow you to make the cost benefit analysis - Wanting vs commitment - For the better part of 25 years I wanted pornography out of my life. - I pleaded with Heavenly Father to take this problem away from me - For lots of years it was just a want, the way a little girl wants a pony. - I would ask and think that I just deserved it because I asked for it. - . - It wasn’t until after we got married and Darcy found out about my pornography use that I really got committed. - It wasn’t until it was costing me my self confidence and I was desperate to stop feeling like a terrible person who was never going to get rid of this problem that I started to take action. - I started with bishops, who were great and loved me. - They didn’t have the answers, they were there for me to confess but not to give me tools. - They sent me to counselors who were there to hear where I was and witness my struggle and validate my feelings, but didn’t have any answers, didn’t have any real world idea of how I was doing and why I was where I was. - They just told me I was an addict. - So that lead me to the twelve steps… which was full of earnest men, trying to move forward with their lives. - but that time only served to reinforce that I was “powerless against my addiction” - - - Then when we had the twins, I took a step back. I saw that none of this had gotten me where I wanted to go. - So I committed to figure it out by looking into my own mind, true principles that I could see from a gospel perspective and all the things I learned that made sense from what I had done before. - - This is what being committed looks like. - Trying. - Trying again, - Trying something new - Trying something different - Trying anything I hadn’t tried before - Trying things that were harder than anything I had done before - I spent $40,000 and...

Jaksot(169)

Why would my husband lie to me?

Why would my husband lie to me?

Why Would my Husband Lie to me? And other questions Wives ask when their spouse uses pornography. Over the last couple of weeks my wife and I have had a number of conversations with a new client and h...

26 Huhti 202029min

4 Secrets to having more joy in your life.

4 Secrets to having more joy in your life.

- The sun is setting and the kids are out making the gleeful noises that signal an amazing day is ending. - It’s about bed time and I am sitting down to record - Thinking, what is the s...

19 Huhti 202017min

Accountability is Awesome

Accountability is Awesome

- The more accountability we take for our experience here – what happens to us, what we create, what we see as external or internal struggles – the more choices we have o This is about ownership...

13 Huhti 202020min

3 Questions that I ask when someone says, "I'm an addict"

3 Questions that I ask when someone says, "I'm an addict"

Does it matter whether you are an addict? Does it abdicate your agency? Does that thought serve you? - Does thinking it make you more likely to stop using pornography?

6 Huhti 202020min

Emotions are a lot like bears

Emotions are a lot like bears

The urges are taking over my life – or that is kind of what a lot of us are feeling right now. For a lot of us this last 2 weeks have been really challenging. A lot of us are feeling trapped, stuck, a...

29 Maalis 202022min

Getting Things Done - Bonus episode

Getting Things Done - Bonus episode

Is the corona virus lockdown getting you down, here is something to help you be your most productive self. There's even a free download https://www.zachspafford.com/getitdone (https://www.zachspafford...

25 Maalis 20208min

I feel love in spite of the corona virus

I feel love in spite of the corona virus

Love – As papi to 8 children I have been regularly faced with a significant load in trying to connect with my kids. There is a lot that happens in life, there is a lot of living that 10 people do in o...

23 Maalis 202012min

Victim Mentality

Victim Mentality

Victim-hood and the blame game. - Not too many people think or express that they are the victim. - Not weakness, just our brain justifying our behavior - Indicators of victim mentality....

16 Maalis 202019min

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