Be Direct for Better Sex

Sexual fantasies give us a window into what we need: a type of touch, a type of power, or even a type of person. But what if you’re one of those people who’s like: “I don’t know how to fantasize, Emily?” Then look no further than sex educator and author of Curvy Girl Sex Elle Chase. Elle joins me to talk about cultivating your erotic daydreams, what your fantasies say about your desire style, and how to turn a common fantasy into a reality: finding a friend with benefits.   Plus, we take your questions! How to respond to a partner who desperately wants to watch you have sex with another (but you’re not so into it), what to say to a partner who thinks butts are gross, how to talk about your kink to a new partner and much more.  For More Elle Chase:  Website | Twitter | Instagram | Facebook Elle’s Naughty Coloring Book | Curvy Girl Sex by Elle Chase | Elle’s Fantasy Course  Show Notes: Tell Me What You Want by Justin Lehmiller Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski The Yes No Maybe List  We Vibe Toys Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

18 Helmi 202251min

When you keep running into the same relationship (or sex) problems over and over again, what’s the one common denominator? Brace yourself…because it’s you. You’re the thing that carries over from partnership to partnership, which is why Gary Bishop, author of the crazy bestseller “Unfu*k Yourself” decided to write a new book – a tough love spin on self-help. It’s called “Love Unfu*ked: Getting Your Relationship Sh!t Together,” and I invited him to chat with me about it. In this interview, Gary and I talk about how to become aware of our destructive relationship habits, and concrete ways to manage them. He tells me the one simple change he made with his current partner that transformed their relationship, and we go deep on feeling threatened: the fight or flight response that inhibits emotional intimacy, not to mention our best sex. But we also talk about the hopeful side of radical self-awareness, and the opportunity in front of us, when we step outside of ourselves, look at our patterns, and change them – to create room for the pleasurable connections we all want.  For More Information About Gary Bishop: Website | Twitter | Instagram  Love Unfu*ked Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

15 Helmi 202250min

Today’s show is all about exploring sexual attraction; what it means and how does it fit into romantic love. By the end of today’s episode, you’ll better understand how and why YOU may feel sexually attracted to another person and how that can sometimes be distinct from feelings associated with long-term love. Plus, I take your questions! What to do when you’re straight, but kinda wanna hook up in a non-straight way, what to do when you and your partner are both submissive (and both crave dominance), how to bring back the spark, and when you should hang onto a friend with quality benefits – and, when to let them go.  Show Notes: Sex, Drugs and The Side Effects of Birth Control w/ Ricki Lake & Abby Epstein For More Studies From Justin Lehmiller Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

11 Helmi 202234min

Let’s talk anal play! If you’re a booty newbie, where do you begin? What feel-good nerve endings are you looking for? Should you start alone, or with a partner? And how the hell do you go shopping for butt plugs? Listen: if you’ve got backdoor questions, my guests Dr. Charlie Glickman and Dr. Hernando Chaves have answers. Today’s best-of episode is THE anal 101 primer, and if you’re not butt-curious now…you will be, in less than an hour.  Listen up for tips to stimulate the prostate (AKA the male G-spot), how to prepare hygienically,  finger techniques for prostate massage, and how anal play can add so much crazy pleasure to your sex life, no matter your gender.  Show Notes: Dr Charlie Glickman | Website Hernando Chaves | Instagram | Twitter Aneros Skyn Condoms Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

9 Helmi 202251min

How do you kickstart sexual arousal? Would you believe me if I told you that sometimes, the best ways to get turned on have nothing to do with sex itself? When you take the focus off the bedroom, and turn your focus toward adventure – the kind that gets your heart-pumping, your adrenaline going, and your anticipation building – a cool thing happens in your brain. You’re excited, and that excitement spills over from the activity into…sex. Pretty nifty, right? So on today’s show, we’re going to trust, touch, and titillate our way towards arousal, with bonding hacks you can use on your next date whether it is with a long term partner or someone new. Plus, I take your questions! Ways to feel confident and sexual again after a breakup, how to have kinky sex with a partner who says they aren’t interested, how to decide if you should wait to develop a relationship with a super busy person or cut em’ loose, how to take sexy pictures with each other, and how to communicate your needs efficiently outside the bedroom so that you can reignate the spark when you’re back inside. Show Notes: Serena Kerrigan’s Let’s Fucking Date Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin?   Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski The Yes No Maybe List Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

4 Helmi 202248min

As much as we’d like sex to be seamlessly hot all the time, sometimes…it gets a little awkward. Too much teeth during a blowjob. An erection that won’t last. Someone farts! It happens - and when it does, it can seriously derail the mood. But does it have to? I’m of the opinion that if we know how to respond during moments like these – with compassion, collaboration, and sometimes a sense of humor – an erotic moment doesn’t have to come to an abrupt halt. So on today’s show, I’m taking the point of view of someone who didn’t “do” the awkward thing, they witnessed it. And by the end, you’ll know how to hold space, how to handle situations like these, and not shame the person on the other side – so you can keep the party going, and continue having fantastic sex.  Show Notes: What It Really Means When You Can’t Stay Hard The Vulva Gallery  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

2 Helmi 202249min

Nothing makes me happier than people taking pleasure into their own hands, so my team and I have assembled the 10 MOST popular articles on SexWithEmily.com and we are dedicating this episode to the things our listeners most want to hear. Spoiler alert: you all love porn. And giving pleasure. I see what you’re interested in, I see what you’re curious about – so I consider today’s show scripted by you. It’s a deep dive into our most read articles; whether it’s preparing for a threesome, mastering awkward sex positions, or learning how to squirt.  So buckle up, because this is quite the content-filled episode. Alright, let’s dive in! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

28 Tammi 202240min

When you hear the phrase “self-care,” what comes to mind? Bubble baths? Booking a massage? Those things are all lovely (I’d argue essential), but I’ve got one more thing to add to your self-care routine, and I’m going to make a case for it: solo sex, AKA masturbation.  If you’re a regular listener to this show, you know how much of a solo sex advocate I am. But we’re going to go a little deeper into this topic, because there’s still a lot of shame associated with masturbation: fear of getting caught, embarrassment about our noises and facial expressions, confusion around toys and which ones are best. That’s why today’s show is your Solo Sex 101, where we create a solo sex routine that works for you, get into all the ways solo sex nourishes your mental health, and how to get into the right headspace for it. Plus, I take your questions! When masturbation feels depressing, how do you learn to love it? Or when you’re asked to masturbate in front of your partner, but feel self-conscious about it, what do you do? I tackle these questions and so many more, on our solo sextravaganza.  Show Notes: Dr Emily’s Shop Page Dame Fin  Je Joue Mimi More on Information on EMDR Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

26 Tammi 202252min