The Best of Both Worlds w/ Ian Fidance | Your Mom's House Ep. 757

Get your hands off my penis! All of you! Can you be arrested for simply enjoying a meal? We think, yes. Jeans has t*ts for days and well, buns has d**k for days, ya dig? If you are black and don't have d**k for days would you be a doll and let us know about it? We examine the porn girls voice - could you possible remove that with your implants, please! Tommy trains Tina in identifying who is a suck pig and who isn't, but Tina reveals the secret of what shames and what celebrates giving out the good stuff. Be proud of who you are, pig! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 1min

The mommies can't add. We know words and we know sounds and we know that catsfish and bass loves frogs cause we're smart. We knows what's to use! But math - no thank you! Tommy is smarter than Tina, but Tina has a big heart. Tommy also has a special gift - he knows from simply glancing at a woman if she is DTF. He knows who is a waste of time and who has jeans that are easy to take off. We go back for Sushi from the lady who enjoys shaming us, but this time we show her who will apply more pressure (pwessha). We have a Brown Talk segment that truly breaks it down. Plus Dental Updates and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 2min

Mayday Mayday Mayday! Mommy Down! That's right, this episode there's only 1 mommy, 1 pair of lower, looser jeans. It's sad, but don't worry. Tina mommy will end up being okay. She's resting and getting new denim to make her feel better. This episode we have the very funny, unpredictable and completely outrageous, Brandt Tobler in the Dome. Nicky Santoro is a more welcome sight in casinos than Tobler. If you think I'm kidding, just listen. Tobler's stories are so incredible you genuinely feel like he's telling you fiction - but he isn't. He's done more and seen more than most people see in 10 lifetimes. It's always great to get a comic in the building with all kinds of crazy stories to tell. Buckle up on this one. We guarantee you'll be wanting to hear more from Tobler. Don't forget to follow him -- @brandtTobler  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 34min

This is what the Mommy Dome is all about - wearing jeans and having fun. A first timer has joined us who you are all sure to love, the very sweet, very funny, and eerily menacing, John Moore. Sure he's a dead ringer for Ariel Castro, but there's more to John that meets the eye. We cover the phenomenon that is lesbians watching gay, male porn - what? Yes! Is Maya Angelou the greatest human alive? The Dalai Lama? You decide. We also cover John's awesome writing career, singing on planes, and a groundbreaking Dental Update that will shake your teeth to your gums! The Mommies will find John love and hopefully he won't murder whoever he ends up with.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 25min

Oh, Canada. Oh, Canada, you need more lyrics in your national anthem and PLEASE train your singers when they pipe out OUR national anthem or perhaps they will be decapitated on the ice? Maybe. Hit the high notes, sister! We recap a magical weekend in Portland and Seattle, a weekend that was all about that deep blue color that pumps thru our veins - denim. A special phone call with Joey Diaz unlike any other call you could ever imagine. Diaz, as always, inspires, bewilders, and makes us laugh until we nearly stroke out. BREAKING: We get the inside scoop on the fiasco that was Brendon Walsh's nearly-guest hosting The Tonight Show while Jay Leno was sick. All we can say is, Thank God Jay felt better before Walsh covered for him.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 14min

Nothing makes our jeans tighter than when a coach verbally abuses his players or the media. Another great man allowed himself to be recorded spittin fire at his team and we love it! We revisit Kai The Hitchhiker who just months ago saved someone from being killed - now HE is wanted for murder. Big BROWN Talk update, plus Old people are just OLD not stupid. We also get Tina's cousin, Sari on the line and reviewing movies (HINT: She's not impressed), a listener Dental Update and more! Hopefully our new tailor can modify our jeans so they can be worn higher.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 6min

Every mother deserves to squirt. We give YOU the tools to make a flood in your bed, go for it! We revisit the F***ing Camp child who uses BIG WORDS sometimes, like, well, the worst racial slurs - it's amazing. Tommy recaps an anxiety filled weekend with Top Dog and Charo and you get to hear a tease from The Top Dog and Charo Special - they play Tom or Black and it's an instant denim classic. Bert Kreischer is on the phone talking about his dad masturbating and how he gives it to his wife, Lee Ann. Mrs. Kreischer lets us know that Bert is a less than desireable lover, but he bought her a new car so she's staying until 2014. Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut military movie edition style and more! Pour your mother a drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 7min

Nothing goes in Tina's booty - Well, lets just say NOT MUCH! Hehehehehehehe! We got a Chuck Ramsey update, wussup McDonald's?! What is Richmond, Virginia? Southern? Eastern? Full of murder? We talk about Nazi's AND Slavery. Whoa, that's pretty serious stuff in the Mommy Dome. Don't worry we're soon listening to retarded kids singing. Is that for them or us? Theo's back plus Would You Rather and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 6min