#4 Boundaries w/ Kevin Miller | The Big Idea, The Big Takeaway & The Big Action

Let me read that again, “What You Do Is Secondary To Who You Be While Doing It.” Think about the ramifications of this. It is entirely countercultural. Entirely. We glorify heroes and their victories, no matter the cost. Make a billion dollars? Win the Superbowl? Be famous? We glorify you and not only do we not seem to care, but we expect a lot of collateral damage. If you end your life, we’ll memorialize you even more. It’s an intriguing story to see meteoric success and supposed brilliance. But with my friends and those I respect, revere, and love most, I don’t really care much what they do. I care who they be. With and to me. I do not diss wealth, power, or fame. I just realize that even though I have exposure to people with great wealth, power, and fame, none of them become my close friends. They are off doing all it takes to have wealth, power, and fame. At this point, it exhausts me. I don’t even care to talk a lot about my work in and of itself. Or my parenting. If I’m with you, let’s be together. Sharing ideas and thoughts and experiences. Let’s dissect this just a bit… Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Tammi 202513min

In the last episode with Dr Jordan Grumet he differentiated small-p purpose from big-P purpose. And put most of the emphasis on small-p purpose, which is the daily activities that truly light you up. This is where I want to focus right now. What lights you up? What gives you energy? What inspires you? But don’t jump to your appetites. I imagine like you, I have a lot of things that are a pleasure for me. A dopamine hit. I appreciate those things greatly. But that’s not what we are talking about here. Think about it this way; you have apps on your phone that give you a dopamine hit. Social media or games. They are fine. But as you are playing them, you deplete the battery on your phone. What “lights up your phone” is plugging it in. So we’re looking for the things that you participate in that charge you up. What Jordan is leading us to is the massive value of these activities. Let’s help understand these better. You can find Jordan Grumet at the Earn & Invest Podcast and his new book and our muse here is The Purpose Code: How To Unlock Meaning, Maximize Happiness, And Leave A Lasting Legacy. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Tammi 202513min

Purpose is one of the most overused topics in the self-improvement world. Everyone is talking about it. But as we look at the culture, we see more apathy and depression then ever. It’s similar to all the talk on being healthy and happy and we are just getting sicker and sadder. Why? With purpose, why are we constantly talking about it but not finding and experiencing it? I have with me, Jordan Grumet, and you are about to hear a very different look at what purpose is and how we can start experiencing much more of our purpose. Jordan is a medical doctor turned hospice doc. He is host of the Earn & Invest Podcast. He’s author of Taking Stock: A Hospice Doctor’s Advice on Financial Independence, Building Wealth, and Living a Regret-Free Life, the book that landed him here on my show the first time. Now he is back with a new book titled, The Purpose Code: How To Unlock Meaning, Maximize Happiness, And Leave A Lasting Legacy. And we breakdown and dissect purpose. What it is, why we are missing it as a culture, and I’ll give you what to me is the big takeaway, right here in the intro: you will find much more of your purpose in the day to day activities that light you up, than pursuing the big, grand purpose of saving the world. It’s a very different approach to purpose that I found to be much more relevant, realistic, and attainable. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Tammi 20251h 5min

Now it’s time to get literal and candid. Patrick Kilcarr again is Director of Georgetown University’s Center for Personal Development. He was my guest four episodes ago where we talked at a higher level about emotional intelligence. In this episode, we get granular. Patrick is a master trainer in emotional intelligence and certifies professionals to use the EQ-i2.0, rated as the most valid and reliable self-assessment of emotional intelligence. It assesses and evaluates the social and emotional competencies of individuals. This is not something available to the public. Patrick uses it as a professor, he administers it for business and academic organizations, and he uses it with his personal counseling clients. In this episode, he walks me through mine. As you will hear, he has never done this in a public setting and was fairly surprised I was willing. For disclosure, you will not be hearing how emotionally intelligent I am. You will hear how I am very high in one area, and Patrick showcasing how I am compensating for another area where I am very lacking. However, you are not here to learn about me. The point is for you to gain understanding of your own emotional propensities, and this is why we are publicly sharing what would otherwise be an individual therapy session. Patrick’s book is Leading An Emotionally Intelligent Life: Expanding Your Emotional Intelligence to Make Courageous Decisions and Transform Your Life. Dr. Kilcarr maintains a private practice in Washington, DC where he offers individual, couples, group, and family therapy. More information at his website https://theeilife.com/  Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Tammi 20251h 1min

As we’ve been discussing the power and necessity of emotional intelligence, and I’ve posited the increasing value of it in relation to artificial intelligence, let's look at what human intelligence really is. I’ve never met anyone who did not want to think of themselves as intelligent. I find the label often attached to people who seem to have a wealth of knowledge they can deftly communicate. But as I discussed with artificial intelligence, if it’s only defined by knowledge, then the most intelligent person is now second best to a computer. Let us look at what would equate to us being more or less intelligent. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Tammi 202517min

As we continue to discuss emotional intelligence and it being the root of human connection, I want to revisit the most important human connection that I was ignorant of, most of my life. In 2018 when I was host of The Ziglar Show, I had Robin Sharma for the first time. I used to do a segment called Habits & Values where I asked guests about their personal habits in the key areas of life. When I asked about Robin's habits and values in regards to relationships he surprised me by stating that the first value and priority in his relationships was the relationship he had with himself. This concept has never occurred to me. I viewed relationships as my relating to and with other people. Not myself. This brings us to today and my recent discussion with psychologist, professor, and director of Personal Development at Georgetown University, Patrick Kilcarr, one of the greatest experts I’ve experienced in regards to emotional intelligence. And the foundation of emotional intelligence that Patrick discusses in his book, Leading An Emotionally Intelligent Life, is human connection. And the first and most vital human connection is the connection we have with ourselves. And even as I say that and you may nod, do you really understand what that is? Because it proves very difficult for me. Leading An Emotionally Intelligent Life: Expanding Your Emotional Intelligence to Make Courageous Decisions and Transform Your Life. Patrick’s website https://theeilife.com Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1 Tammi 202514min

As I continue to research, learn, and strive to grow in emotional intelligence, I’ve wholly moved from looking at it as some touchy-feely concept to perceiving it as what separates humans from…everything else. In the last episode I talked with psychologist, professor, and director of Personal Development at Georgetown University, Patrick Kilcarr. In our discussion he talked much about emotional intelligence as our ability to connect. If we look at the growing power of artificial intelligence, this is what it can’t do. AI is adept at knowledge and learning and information and even innovation. As AI takes over, we humans will struggle to compete in those arenas. But AI is not sentient. It is not able to perceive or feel things. And as such, this seems to be our greatest asset as humans. Or our greatest liability if we are lacking. Patrick’s new book on this topic is Leading An Emotionally Intelligent Life: Expanding Your Emotional Intelligence to Make Courageous Decisions and Transform Your Life. His website is https://theeilife.com Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

31 Joulu 202410min

I spent a lifetime pursuing external performance. What we achieve athletically, entrepreneurially and even altruistically. I upheld the skill and ability of social awareness and reading and influencing people. I put a high value on controlling oneself. What I missed was knowing myself and understanding emotions. If I could go back, I’d trade in so much…maybe everything, for emotional intelligence. I find no greater understanding, wisdom, and power than that which comes from having high emotional intelligence. Which I don’t have. I still feel I’m in early training. And I’m ecstatic that I found my guest in this episode, Patrick Kilcarr. Patrick has been the Director of Georgetown University’s Center for Personal Development since 1999. He is a master trainer in emotional intelligence, certifying professionals to use the EQ-i2.0 (the most valid and reliable self-assessment of emotional intelligence) to assess and evaluate the social and emotional competencies of individuals in a variety of professional venues. All of Patrick’s work is directed toward strengthening the individual with respect to his/her innate talents and abilities. He has written extensively on emotional intelligence, addiction, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. I found Patrick through a book he published in 2022, called Leading An Emotionally Intelligent Life: Expanding Your Emotional Intelligence to Make Courageous Decisions and Transform Your Life.. Dr. Kilcarr maintains a private practice in Washington, DC where he offers individual, couples, group, and family therapy. More information at his website https://theeilife.com/ Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Get 20% off your first probiotic membership order at pendulumlife.com/drivesyou Go to cozyearth.com/driven and use code DRIVEN for an exclusive 40% discount Use my promo code WHATDRIVESYOU for 10% off on any CleanMyMac's subscription plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Joulu 20241h 48min