124: How to Get What You Really Want Out of Conflict, with Bonni Stachowiak

124: How to Get What You Really Want Out of Conflict, with Bonni Stachowiak

Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed

Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide*.

Bonni and I discussed three steps for getting what you most want out of conflict:

  1. Recognize our tendency to focus on ourselves being right and the other party being wrong.
  2. Getting clear on the feeling factor: becoming aware of our own feelings and learning to express them accurately to another party
  3. Know your short and long-term goal. “Given what has already transpired that you can’t change, what do you want to have come out of this situation?”

We recommended Difficult Conversations*

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