Vad skapar bra relationer (engelska)

Vad skapar bra relationer? Eva Berlander möter Dr Pat Love
En av de klokaste och mest kärleksfulla personer Eva vet är Dr Pat Love. Pat är hennes kollega, vän och hon är även medförfattare till deras prisbelönta bok: Du förstör vår relation.

Eva uppskattar henne så mycket för att hon är;

• autentisk
• ärlig
• rolig
• oerhört klok
• sprallig
• trygg
• lekfull
• varm
• pålitlig
• rättvis
• nyfiken
• intresserad
• öppen
• mottaglig
• relationär
• flexibel
• enkel
• tydlig
• mjuk
• ansvarfull
• modig
• och generös.

Säkert förstår du varför Eva tycker att det är lätt att vara nära Pat. Forskning visar tydligt att dessa egenskaper inte bara är trivsamma och härliga utan även nödvändiga när vi ska skapa riktigt bra relationer - både hemma och på jobbet.
Som vanligt ska du känna dig varmt välkommen att lyssna.

P.S. Nedan kan du läsa mer om de 5 områden som Pat pratar om i podden.
Underlying Forces of Happy, Stable Relationships

Security—adhering to the agreed-upon commitments to one another and the relationship. An underlying practice of physical, emotional, financial, and sexual fidelity as well as, safety. In secure relationship dissatisfaction never leads to overt or covert threats to leaving.

Signs of an insecure relationship—no small issues; reactivity; chronic unrest. Sense that “what they are arguing about is not what they are arguing about.” Insensitivity to partner’s basic needs. Tolerating abusive or insensitive treatment from partner.

Therapeutic amnesia.

Equity—Relationship includes sharing of resources in a manner that feels fair and generous to partners. Considerate distribution of support, time, energy, and need gratification.

Signs of inequity—clients report being unhappy, unappreciated, unsupported, withdrawn, resentful, grown apart. Withholding vital need gratification for partner in an attempt to retaliate for lack of fairness in relationship.

Relational—thinking and acting conjointly. Being aware, sensitive, and caring regarding the impact of your behavior on your partner(s) and the relationship.

Signs of a non-relational relationship—unilateral decision-making. Being indifferent to partner’s interests, family, opinion, or needs. Lack of support and respect for partner’s work or lifestyle. Insistence on continuing activities enjoyed as a single person which now threaten the relationship.

Flexible—Adaptable to change. Accommodating needs of partner(s) and relationship. Open-minded, willing to listen, understand, and negotiate. Being forgiving and able to change your mind.

Signs of an inflexible relationship—opposition to any change. Demand for agreement. Sees change as a personal threat. Disinterest in any but own opinion and information.

Vital—active involvement in keeping the relationship interesting, fun, growing, and passionate.

Signs of a relationship lacking in vitality—boredom; best times happen without partner; thought of same relationship routine in the future is depressing to one or both partners. Lack of curiosity about new activities.

© Pat Love, Ed.D., 2022