Dr. Sue Johnson on Navigating Romantic Relationships
The One You Feed27 Elo 2019

Dr. Sue Johnson on Navigating Romantic Relationships

Dr. Sue Johnson is an author, clinical psychologist, researcher, and an internationally recognized leader in the field of couple interventions. She is founding Director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) and Distinguished Research Professor at Alliant University in San Diego, California, as well as Professor Emeritus, Clinical Psychology, at the University of Ottawa, Canada. In this interview, Dr. Sue Johnson discuss her best selling book, “Hold Me Tight: 7 Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” and her groundbreaking research of helping couples to enhance, repair, and keep their relationship. Need help with completing your goals in 2019? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year. But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you! In This Interview, Dr. Sue Johnson and I Discuss… Her book, Hold Me Tight: 7 Conversations for a Lifetime of Love The wolf parable and how therapists act as the third wolf for couples. Relationships are often stuck in fear and anger Emotional disconnection causes distress in relationships. Humans are wired for close connection with others. Attachment needs continue into adulthood, most notably in romantic relationships. Common conversations in distressed relationships are known as “demon dialogues”. Relationships stuck in predictable patterns is referred to as the “Protest Polka”. “Freeze and Flee” means one person gives up on the relationship. “Find the Bad Guy” in other words, "It’s not me, it’s you” Understanding the circle of criticism, or the “dance” you’re stuck in. Learning to blame this “dance” rather than each other. The “hold me tight conversation” that creates safety in the relationship. Understanding the negative cycle that causes disconnection. Creating a positive cycle by creating a secure bond “ARE” – Accessibility, Responsiveness, and Engagement. Talking about fears rather than acting on them leads to bonding. Emotional connection in a relationship is a source of joy and strength. Dr. Sue Johnson Links: drsuejohnson.com Twitter Facebook TalkSpace – the online therapy company that lets you message a licensed therapist from anywhere at any time. Therapy on demand. Non-judgemental, practical help when you need it at a fraction of the cost of traditional therapy. Visit www.talkspace.com and enter Promo Code: WOLF to get 65% off your first month. DoorDash – Don’t worry about dinner, let dinner come to you with DoorDash. Get $5 off your first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code WOLF Westin – their reason for being is to help you travel well – eat well, move well and sleep well. Welcome to wellness. Explore at Westin.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Bonus Re-Release: Todd Henry

Bonus Re-Release: Todd Henry

Todd Henry describes himself as “an arms dealer for the creative revolution”Todd is the founder of Accidental Creative, a company that helps creative people and teams generate brilliant ideas.  He regularly speaks and consults with companies, both large and small, about how to develop practices and systems that lead to everyday brilliance. Todd’s work has been featured by Fast Company, Fortune, Forbes,HBR.org, US News & World Report, and many other major media outlets.His latest book, Die Empty: Unleash Your Best Work Every Day, unlocks the forces that cause even the brightest, most skilled people to become stagnant in their life and career, and introduces practices that help them build a body of work they can be proud of.It’s been called “A simple, elegant and masterful manual for leading a fulfilled life” by David Allen, author of Getting Things Done, and Steven Pressfield, author of The War of Art says “If you can read this book and not be inspired, you need a 100% full-body-and-soul transplant.”In This Interview Todd and I discuss…The One You Feed parable.What mediocrity means.The Seven Deadly Sins of Mediocrity.How little choices become a big choice.How to pick your battles.Why the phrase “no one on their deathbed ever wished for another day at the office” is wrong.What the west coast should have to match the Statue of Liberty.How no one loves every part of their job and that’s ok.That a little of something is better than a lot nothing.What are Mapping, Making and Meshing?The difference between Drivers, Drifters and Developers.What is the Project Plateau?What is the core practice to transform your work?Common Sense is not Common Practice.What is the Bliss Station?Where is the most valuable land in the world?Todd Henry LinksTodd Henry homepageTodd’s latest book: Die EmptyThe Accidental Creative homepageTodd Henry author page on AmazonSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Joulu 201436min

Therese Borchard

Therese Borchard

This week we talk to Therese Borchard about handling depression.Therese Borchard is the author of Beyond Blue and The Pocket Therapist. She blogs for Everyday Health and is an Associate Editor and a regular contributor to Psych Central. She writes about her own struggles with depression. In This Interview Therese and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.Battling treatment resistant depression.Turning struggle into service.Her long battles with depression.Treating depression holistically.Combining traditional medicine with alternative medicine.How positive thinking is of no use during extreme depression.How there are no easy answers to depression.Not having important conversations when we are hungry, angry, lonely and tired.How it is possible to be depressed and grateful at the same time.How diet is important but is not enough to solve depression.How there is rarely a simple fix for depression.How tiring faking that we are happy can be.The importance of connecting with others who share the same challenges.Why there are not more depression support groups?The difference between mental health and 12 step culture.Learning to accept our limitations.Therese Borchard LinksTherese Borchard BlogTherese Borchard on Pysch CentralTherese Borchard on TwitterTherese Borchard on Facebook   Some of our most popular interviews that you might also enjoy:Kino MacGregorStrand of OaksMike Scott of the WaterboysTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Joulu 201445min

Mini Episode- How I Built a Meditation Habit

Mini Episode- How I Built a Meditation Habit

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Joulu 201411min

James Clear

James Clear

James Clear is an entrepreneur, weightlifter, and travel photographer. He writes at JamesClear.com, where he talks about scientific research and real-world experiences that help you rethink your health and improve your life. His blog gets millions of visitors per year. In This Interview James and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.How money can be an addiction that society rewards.How much we over estimate one defining moment versus steady day to day behavior.The aggregation of marginal gains- improve by 1% in everything you do.Small changes can lead to big results.Reduce the Scope, Stick to The Schedule.Not letting your emotions drive your behavior.The difference between professionals and amateurs.It's not the result that matters but the action and habit.The 2 Minute Rule.How willpower often comes after we start, not before."Start with something so easy you can't say no to it"- Leo BabutaYou don't have to be great at the start, you just need to be there.Learning from our failures and seeing it as a data point.Seeing failure as an event, not as part of us.How mentally tough people define themselves by their persistence, not failure.Acquiring more mental toughness or grit.How 21 days to create a habit is a myth.Missing a habit once in awhile is not a big deal.Never missing twice.Fixed Mindset versus Growth Mindset.How your job is to live out your unique path.The difference between competitiveness and comparison.How the performance matters, not the judgement of it.Ambition and contentment are not opposites.James Clear LinksJames Clear HomepageJames Clear Free Habits KitJames Clear TwitterJames Clear Facebook   Some of our most popular interviews that you might also enjoy:Kino MacGregorStrand of OaksMike Scott of the WaterboysTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Joulu 201455min

Mini Episode- Why Worrying Doesn't Work

Mini Episode- Why Worrying Doesn't Work

A short mini episode about worrying.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Joulu 20149min

Michael Galinsky

Michael Galinsky

This week we talk to Michael Galinsky about the role of emotions in physical pain Michael Galinsky is an American filmmaker, cinematographer, photographer, and musician who has produced and directed a number of documentaries, including Battle from Brooklyn and Who Took Johnny. He also runs a production and distribution company called Rumur. He is currently running a Kickstarter campaign to fund his new film, All The Rage which is based on the pioneering work of Dr John Sarno. Dr Sarno is a leading figure in understanding the role of emotions in physical pain. In This Interview Michael and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.The history of Dr John Sarno.How being a "goodist" can create strong repression and anger.How repressed emotions can cause physical pain.His family history with Dr. Sarno.His personal battles with pain.How Howard Stern, Larry David and John Stossel are fans of Dr. Sarno.How pain is a normal problem but chronic pain is a failure of the body to heal itself.The challenges in healing the emotional issues that can cause physical pain.The role of fear in causing physical complaints.Meditation practice as a way to manage challenging emotions.How pain can be a barometer of how we are doing emotionally.Knowing is not the same as doing.The difference between acceptance and repression.Michael Galinsky LinksMichael Galinsky TwitterMichael Galinksy/ Rumur Home pageAll the Rage Kickstarter campaign   Some of our most popular interviews that you might also enjoy:Kino MacGregorStrand of OaksMike Scott of the WaterboysTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Joulu 201443min

Mini Episode- The Exhaustion of Avoidance

Mini Episode- The Exhaustion of Avoidance

Eric discusses how tiring avoidance can be and proposes some solutions.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Marras 20147min

Robert Biswas-Diener

Robert Biswas-Diener

This week we talk to Robert Biswas-Diener about the upside of your dark side.Robert Biswas-Diener  is a psychologist, author and instructor at Portland State University. Biswas-Diener's research focuses on income and happiness, culture and happiness, and positive psychology.  Robert has written a number of books including Happiness: Unlocking The mysteries of Psychological Wealth and The Courage Quotient, and his latest book is called The Upside of Your Darkside:Why Being Your Whole Self, Not Just Your "good"Self -Drives Success and Fulfilment which was co-written with Todd Kashdan. In This Interview Robert and I Discuss...The One You Feed parable.Embracing both sides of our nature.The benefits of anger, guilt and other "negative" emotions.Thinking of emotions as a thermometer.How only having positive emotions is like breaking a thermometer.How we may not get as stuck in negative emotions as we think we do.The benefits of being emotionally agile or flexible.How avoidance and suppression is a bad approach.That suppression is a very blunt tool and you can't selectively suppress certain emotions.How avoidance is "the tectonic issue of our times"Comfort addiction- we have the ability to be more comfortable than any time in history.How comfort is not the same as happiness.Finding the middle ground between comfort and effort.Knowing is not the same as doing."Avoiding problems also means avoiding finding the solution to them".Emotional Time Travel Errors.Allowing ourselves to experience disappointment.How the ability to tolerate some degree of psychological discomfort is one of the key attributes to successful living.Robert Biswas Diener LinksRobert Biswas-Diener HomepageRobert Biswas -Diener Coaching Training ProgramRobert Biswas Diener on TwitterRobert Biswas-Diener TED Talk  Some of our most popular interviews that you might also enjoy:Kino MacGregorStrand of OaksMike Scott of the WaterboysTodd Henry- author of Die EmptyRandy Scott HydeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Marras 201439min

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