How Not to be Your Boss' Scapegoat

How Not to be Your Boss' Scapegoat

  1. Understand what a scapegoat is. The purpose of a scapegoat is to pass responsibility onto someone else. Usually this person is unsuspecting at first and agrees because they are trying to get along with others. This technique of passing the buck is very common with narcissists, sociopaths, and addicts. Narcissists can’t allow their ego to be tarnished by an error. Sociopaths do it for the sport of it. And addicts do it because accepting fault in one area of their life means being accountable in another.
  2. Don’t accept liability. Looking back on the two events, Monica had an opportunity in both events to be honest with her level of responsibility. Instead, she chose to take on things that were not her fault. This did not improve her relationships as the two individuals just saw Monica as a pushover and someone they can continue to take advantage of in the future. Had she refused to be their scapegoat, a level of respect would be achieved instead of contempt.
  3. Review past experience. Her feelings of frustration over being a scapegoat ran deep. Upon further examination, Monica realized that her brother used to get her in trouble for his offenses all the time. Her parents, trying to be impartial, told the kids to “work it out.” Her brother’s idea of this was to threaten harm to her if she didn’t agree to take blame. As a demonstration of his determination, he even lit her stuffed animals on fire. Her willingness at work to make excuses for her boss and assistant was subconsciously rooted in the fear her brother instilled.
  4. Stop being the scapegoat. Once Monica separated out trauma from past events, she was able to set new boundaries. She began by issuing a written warning with her assistant about her late arrivals and notified Human Resources of her suspicious behavior. Then she researched narcissistic bosses and found other ways to feed his ego. This pacified her boss and neutralized her assistant. Despite a couple of attempts to thwart her boundaries, Monica remained firm.
  5. Expose the abuser. Monica knew that eventually she would need to expose the scapegoating technique to prevent other employees from damage. But doing this too soon would mean jeopardizing her job, so she waited and watched. When she saw another employee taking the fall for yet another blunder by her boss, Monica spoke to that person and advised them not to take on the blame. This frustrated her boss, but by then, Monica had established a good enough relationship with Human Resources that her job was secured. Once Human Resources caught on, it was only a matter of time before her boss was removed.
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The Holidays with a Narcissist

The Holidays with a Narcissist

A new episode Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

30 Marras 201713min

10 Tips for Working with a Narcissist

10 Tips for Working with a Narcissist

A new episode Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

30 Marras 201714min

E011: Mommie Dearest -  Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

E011: Mommie Dearest - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

Mommie Dearest: Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers: The 1981 movie, Mommie Dearest, has the infamous wire hanger scene where Joan rages over a single wire hanger in her daughter’s closet caused a stir with Joan’s physically abusive behavior. Daughters of narcissistic mothers report similar rages over small incidents. The constant shifting standards of perfectionism designed to elevate the narcissistic mother at the expense of the child defies the customary nurturing maternal instincts.  www.growwithchristine.com Sponsored by: www.psychcentral.com  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

22 Marras 201717min

E010: Danger Ahead - The Delusional Narcissist

E010: Danger Ahead - The Delusional Narcissist

Danger Ahead: The Delusional Narcissist: How does a narcissist go from appearing so charming and innocent to becoming harmful and dangerous? Most narcissists utilize verbal abusive tactics to get what they want in fits of rage, some do long-term mental and emotional abuse, and still fewer escalate to murderous acts. Yet, there is a very small population of narcissists that do commit heinous acts of violence like homicide, murder/suicide, mass murder, or familicide. So how does this happen? www.growwithchristine.com Sponsored by: www.psychcentral.com  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

22 Marras 201716min

E09: How to Survive a Divorce with a Narcissist

E09: How to Survive a Divorce with a Narcissist

Divorce is difficult. But divorcing a narcissist can feel impossible. The surprise abusive attacks followed by the desperate pleas to remain together create confusion, frustration, and anxiety.  Here are a few of their tactics. For more help, join us for a 4 week live webinar on how to Survive a Divorce with a Narcissist. Register here: http://growwithchristine.com/narcissism/narcissism-copy-2/. Sponsored by www.psychcentral.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

7 Marras 201714min

E08: Ways Narcissists Retaliate Through Children

E08: Ways Narcissists Retaliate Through Children

Divorcing a narcissist doesn’t solve everything. The next party on the victimization list is often the children. But really, the narcissist is just using the children to attack the ex-spouse. Learn how. For more help, join us for a 4 week live webinar on how to Survive a Divorce with a Narcissist. Register here: http://growwithchristine.com/narcissism/narcissism-copy-2/.  Sponsored by www.psychcentral.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

7 Marras 201714min

E07: How to Divorce a Narcissist

E07: How to Divorce a Narcissist

Divorcing a narcissist is grueling because they refuse to be on the receiving end of someone leaving them. It takes careful planning to avoid complete exhaustion. Follow these steps before confronting your narcissistic spouse. For more help, join us for a 4 week live webinar on how to Survive a Divorce with a Narcissist. Register here: http://growwithchristine.com/narcissism/narcissism-copy-2/. Sponsored by www.psychcentral.com. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

7 Marras 201715min

E06: Can A Narcissist Be Remorseful?

E06: Can A Narcissist Be Remorseful?

Have you ever wondered if narcissists are capable or remorse and even empathy? Discover the answer in this episode. To learn more, visit www.growwithchristine.com  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

17 Heinä 201716min

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