You Must Find Yourself Because You Have Never Known Yourself

We are looking at trauma not necessarily at the tragic level, but defined as, “a lasting, negative, and limiting emotional response that often results from living through a distressing event.” To this degree, nobody is immune. This is my series on anxiety. I had brought Britt Frank in as my expert and we talked through the message in her book, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward. This is part three in the series where I bring in a peer to discuss the topic, and I have with me Vienna Pharaon. Vienna is one of New York City’s most sought after relationship therapists, she has over 700k followers on Instagram, and I did a series with her around the message in her book, The Origins of You: How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love. Vienna is who recommended Britt to me. In this discussion, actually near the latter part, I ask Vienna about giving gravity to the trauma’s in our life and she actually corrects me and says we want to acknowledge them, but not give to much weight to them and distort them. The mic drop happens when she says, ““When we acknowledge something, we fear it gives power to IT, when instead, it gives power to US.” Acknowledge, don’t distort. This was incredibly insightful.  The Self Helpful podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. *This podcast is rated clean but the subject matter is adult themed and may not be suitable or relevant for children or those with fragile belief systems.  Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. InsideTracker is your personal health analysis and data-driven wellness guide, designed to help you live healthier and longer. For a limited time, Self Helpful listeners can get 20% off InsideTracker’s new Ultimate Plan. Visit InsideTracker.com/helpful. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Therapy, made accessible. Visit BetterHelp.com/selfhelpful today to get 10% off your first month.  Air Doctor, the Professional Air Purifier that captures contaminants 100X smaller than standard HEPA purifiers. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code KEVIN and depending on the model receive UP TO 39% off or UP TO $300 off! ButcherBox is giving new members a free Flank Steak in every box for 3 months! Sign up at ButcherBox.com/selfhelpful and get Flank Steak for 3 months, Log on to ButcherBox.com/selfhelpful to claim this deal! Noom’s changing how the world thinks about weight loss. Go to noom.com to sign up for your trial today! Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to RocketMoney.com/SELFHELPFUL. Download Dave today at Dave.com/selfhelpful! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Heinä 20231h 2min

I’m back with neuropsychotherapist and trauma expert Britt Frank to hear what drives her. Britt is my expert for this series on anxiety, as much of the focus of her new book, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia To Find Your Path Forward, is that anxiety is a good thing. It’s the body doing what it’s supposed to do. It’s us not understanding the dynamics of anxiety and the body’s natural responses that causes problems. Here more in the previous episode. This is part two with Britt where I walk with her through the key areas of life, and it’s in the mental category where she shares her focus to balance waking up in the morning and putting the gas pedal down, with also knowing when she needs to brake and downshift to manage her output, recovery, and mental state. The concept of shifting gears and the pause between has come up in multiple shows recently, so we expand on this more here.  The Self Helpful podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. *This podcast is rated clean but the subject matter is adult themed and may not be suitable or relevant for children or those with fragile belief systems. Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. InsideTracker is your personal health analysis and data-driven wellness guide, designed to help you live healthier and longer. For a limited time, Self Helpful listeners can get 20% off InsideTracker’s new Ultimate Plan. Visit InsideTracker.com/helpful. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Therapy, made accessible. Visit BetterHelp.com/selfhelpful today to get 10% off your first month.  Air Doctor, the Professional Air Purifier that captures contaminants 100X smaller than standard HEPA purifiers. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code KEVIN and depending on the model receive UP TO 39% off or UP TO $300 off! ButcherBox is giving new members a free Flank Steak in every box for 3 months! Sign up at ButcherBox.com/selfhelpful and get Flank Steak for 3 months, Log on to ButcherBox.com/selfhelpful to claim this deal! Noom’s changing how the world thinks about weight loss. Go to noom.com to sign up for your trial today! Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to RocketMoney.com/SELFHELPFUL. Download Dave today at Dave.com/selfhelpful! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Heinä 202353min

We are a culture caught in a plague of anxiety. But my guest states nothing is wrong with anxiety, it’s simply our bodies responding appropriately to a threat. Anxiety is not a mental health problem, it’s simply a physical cue that allows us to know when we are out of alignment with external safety and/or internal truth. Britt Frank is a licensed neuropsychotherapist and trauma expert who is trained in IFS (Internal Family Systems) and SE (Somatic Experiencing). She is a speaker and an award-winning adjunct instructor at the University of Kansas, where she’s taught classes on ethics, addiction, and clinical social work. Her new book is our muse for this series and it’s called, The Science of Stuck: Breaking Through Inertia To Find Your Path Forward. I brought her to us to discuss her research on anxiety and body based feeling vs thought based therapy. You’re about to hear some paradigm shifting information that will change how you view your anxiety and get you paying attention to your bodies responses in order to better manage your mental state.  The Self Helpful podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. *This podcast is rated clean but the subject matter is adult themed and may not be suitable or relevant for children or those with fragile belief systems. Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. InsideTracker is your personal health analysis and data-driven wellness guide, designed to help you live healthier and longer. For a limited time, Self Helpful listeners can get 20% off InsideTracker’s new Ultimate Plan. Visit InsideTracker.com/helpful. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Therapy, made accessible. Visit BetterHelp.com/selfhelpful today to get 10% off your first month.  Air Doctor, the Professional Air Purifier that captures contaminants 100X smaller than standard HEPA purifiers. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code KEVIN and depending on the model receive UP TO 39% off or UP TO $300 off! ButcherBox is giving new members a free Flank Steak in every box for 3 months! Sign up at ButcherBox.com/selfhelpful and get Flank Steak for 3 months, Log on to ButcherBox.com/selfhelpful to claim this deal! Noom’s changing how the world thinks about weight loss. Go to noom.com to sign up for your trial today! Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to RocketMoney.com/SELFHELPFUL. Download Dave today at Dave.com/selfhelpful! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Heinä 20231h 21min

Our guest today is Dr Daniel O’Neill, orthopedic surgeon, sports medicine doctor, and sports psychologist. Dr O’Neill is leading the charge to help our kids and his book is called Survival Of The Fit: How Physical Education Ensures Academic Achievement and a Healthy Life. Our kids are more and more sedentary. They are getting fatter and out of shape and sicker and the consequences are dire, as their brains grow and function out of the health of their bodies. Schools are doing away with physical education and activity and us parents aren’t fostering play and activity and are letting the kids sit still on screens all day. My co-host is Randy James, Medical Doctor and Functional Medicine expert, and we struggle with this just as every other parent does. We want smart kids. We want resilient kids. Kids who don’t fall into depression. So what do we do? That’s what this show is about. Find Dr Daniel O’Neill at survivalofthefit.net You can now watch full episodes on YouTube! Just search for “self helpful with Kevin Miller” The Self Helpful podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. *This podcast is rated clean but the subject matter is adult themed and may not be suitable or relevant for children.  Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. InsideTracker is your personal health analysis and data-driven wellness guide, designed to help you live healthier and longer. For a limited time, Self Helpful listeners can get 20% off InsideTracker’s new Ultimate Plan. Visit InsideTracker.com/helpful. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Therapy, made accessible. Visit BetterHelp.com/selfhelpful today to get 10% off your first month.  Air Doctor, the Professional Air Purifier that captures contaminants 100X smaller than standard HEPA purifiers. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code KEVIN and depending on the model receive UP TO 39% off or UP TO $300 off! ButcherBox is giving new members a free Flank Steak in every box for 3 months! Sign up at ButcherBox.com/selfhelpful and get Flank Steak for 3 months, Log on to ButcherBox.com/selfhelpful to claim this deal! Noom’s changing how the world thinks about weight loss. Go to noom.com to sign up for your trial today! Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to RocketMoney.com/SELFHELPFUL. Download Dave today at Dave.com/selfhelpful! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Heinä 20231h 15min

I’m wrapping up my four part series on Authenticity where I brought Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani on as the expert. Our muse was the message in her new book, Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living An Imperfectly Authentic Life. Kristina again is the cofounder of Mindvalley, a life transformation platform boasting a 20 million strong following, which has afforded her massive exposure to the personal development space and the good and bad of it. Something I have been privy to as well. I’m going to address that in this episode, and I want to also bring attention to what I feel is the number one issue around this topic of authenticity. I feel the key to being the authentic you is to discover, probably for the first time, who that actually is. And further, I’ll claim that becoming the authentic you is an ongoing process you can be evolving towards your entire life. I say can evolve to, as it’s not a given. As Robin Sharma says, and I paraphrase, you don’t live the same day over and over for 75 years and call it a life, or an evolution. We have to choose to evolve and continually discover our authentic selves.  The Self Helpful podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. *This podcast is rated clean but the subject matter is adult themed and may not be suitable or relevant for children or those with fragile belief systems. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

12 Heinä 202325min

This is part three of my series on Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, cofounder of MindValley and author of Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living An Imperfectly Authentic Life. This is my discussion episode and I brought back my brother, Jared Angaza, as I know him to be someone who has fervently pursued the discovery and continual alignment with his authentic self. The tagline of this Self Helpful podcast is, “elevate your personal experience and the way you show up for others”, and Jared coined it. In this show we dig further into aspects of what it means to be authentic and he brings up the aspect of before we can show up authentically for others, we need to first show up authentically for ourselves. And many of us have never known our authentic selves, and we have work to do to discover who that is. We cover a primary way to start that you can begin today. The Self Helpful podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. InsideTracker is your personal health analysis and data-driven wellness guide, designed to help you live healthier and longer. For a limited time, Self Helpful listeners can get 20% off InsideTracker’s new Ultimate Plan. Visit InsideTracker.com/helpful. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Therapy, made accessible. Visit BetterHelp.com/selfhelpful today to get 10% off your first month.  Air Doctor, the Professional Air Purifier that captures contaminants 100X smaller than standard HEPA purifiers. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code KEVIN and depending on the model receive UP TO 39% off or UP TO $300 off! ButcherBox is giving new members a free Flank Steak in every box for 3 months! Sign up at ButcherBox.com/selfhelpful and get Flank Steak for 3 months, Log on to ButcherBox.com/selfhelpful to claim this deal! Noom’s changing how the world thinks about weight loss. Go to noom.com to sign up for your trial today! Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to RocketMoney.com/SELFHELPFUL. Download Dave today at Dave.com/selfhelpful! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Heinä 20231h 13min

I’m back for part two with Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, cofounder of MindValley and author of Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living An Imperfectly Authentic Life. This is my What Drives You episode where I walk with Kristina through her personal Values & Habits. It’s in the category of Health & Wellness where she shares her perspective that being happy does more for her than anything else. A point I think we miss as we give all our focus to what we eat, how we sleep, and getting good sleep. She also attests to being European and drinking wine, eating chocolate and having an active lifestyle that includes kickboxing classes. Other highlights; she feels we often hide behind spiritual concepts rather than dealing with emotions. Regarding her mental state she strives to be kind with herself and to replace judgment with curiosity. In her work she wants to make sure that in whatever she’s digging for, that she also enjoys the digging itself. Wise counsel.  Quick note, if you like to watch your podcasts, you can now get this full episode on YouTube, just type in Self helpful with Kevin Miller. The Self Helpful podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. *This podcast is rated clean but the subject matter is adult themed and may not be suitable or relevant for children. Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. InsideTracker is your personal health analysis and data-driven wellness guide, designed to help you live healthier and longer. For a limited time, Self Helpful listeners can get 20% off InsideTracker’s new Ultimate Plan. Visit InsideTracker.com/helpful. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Therapy, made accessible. Visit BetterHelp.com/selfhelpful today to get 10% off your first month.  Air Doctor, the Professional Air Purifier that captures contaminants 100X smaller than standard HEPA purifiers. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code KEVIN and depending on the model receive UP TO 39% off or UP TO $300 off! ButcherBox is giving new members a free Flank Steak in every box for 3 months! Sign up at ButcherBox.com/selfhelpful and get Flank Steak for 3 months, Log on to ButcherBox.com/selfhelpful to claim this deal! Noom’s changing how the world thinks about weight loss. Go to noom.com to sign up for your trial today! Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to RocketMoney.com/SELFHELPFUL. Download Dave today at Dave.com/selfhelpful! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Heinä 202346min

I continue to be enamored with this tension of being self-aware and being true to yourself, while also being sensitive to others and respecting who and how they are. We tend to fall on the side of “just being me” and being raw and unfiltered which is likely to get you ostracized, or just performing for others and being untrue to yourself and in essence being dishonest to those you care about. I’ve fallen on the latter side most of my life and just people pleased to make everyone happy, which is exhausting and leads me to just retreating from everyone. This doesn’t help me or them. My expert guest for this series is Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani You’ll likely know her as the cofounder of Mindvalley, which is billed as “the world’s most powerful life transformation platform with an ever-growing 20 million-strong following.” They boast the teaching and trainings of many of the personalities I’ve had here on my podcast. Kristina is an entrepreneur, writer, international speaker, artist, and philanthropist. She grew up in the former Soviet Union and has a tremendous story of overcoming. Today she’s based in Estonia and my muse is her new book, Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living An Imperfectly Authentic Life. Like me, Kristina has spent decades in the personal development industry and in this episode we candidly discuss the dark side of personal growth and how it can feed our insecurities. How it can leave you feeling you are never enough and tire you out with a feeling of constant striving. Kristina has a heart for people who, like her, realize they have become a missing person in their own life.” She cites that you won’t find peace being even 95% honest and authentic if you’re still 5% fake or performing. This is a message I really wanted to dig into for myself and I believe you’ll resonate with it. The Self Helpful podcast is brought to you by Ziglar, your premier source for equipping coaches. Visit Ziglar.com and let them inspire your true coaching performance. #mindvalley Go to Zocdoc.com/KEVIN and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. InsideTracker is your personal health analysis and data-driven wellness guide, designed to help you live healthier and longer. For a limited time, Self Helpful listeners can get 20% off InsideTracker’s new Ultimate Plan. Visit InsideTracker.com/helpful. If you’re looking for a simpler and cost-effective supplement routine, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/SELFHELP. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Therapy, made accessible. Visit BetterHelp.com/selfhelpful today to get 10% off your first month.  Air Doctor, the Professional Air Purifier that captures contaminants 100X smaller than standard HEPA purifiers. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code KEVIN and depending on the model receive UP TO 39% off or UP TO $300 off! ButcherBox is giving new members a free Flank Steak in every box for 3 months! Sign up at ButcherBox.com/selfhelpful and get Flank Steak for 3 months, Log on to ButcherBox.com/selfhelpful to claim this deal! Noom’s changing how the world thinks about weight loss. Go to noom.com to sign up for your trial today! Stop throwing your money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions – and manage your expenses the easy way – by going to RocketMoney.com/SELFHELPFUL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Heinä 20231h 19min