Come Out When the Joy and Freedom of Being Out Supersedes the Pain and Fear of Living in the Closet (with Suzette Mullen)

💡 Host bio

Sarah St John is a woman who faced a major crossroads in her life after being married for 18 years and getting divorced. Despite not having children, she had to navigate the difficult transition from a comfortable and seemingly problem-free marriage to being on her own. Throughout her marriage, she had enjoyed the financial stability and companionship that came with being married, but now she is forging a new path for herself. Her experience has given her a unique perspective on the challenges of starting over and she hopes to inspire others who may be facing similar situations.

ℹ️ Introduction

Welcome to the latest episode of the Lesbi-Honest Podcast! In this episode, our host, Sarah St John, sits down with special guest Suzette Mullen, a remarkable book coach and author who is dedicated to amplifying LGBTQ+ voices. Suzette shares her inspiring journey of coming out in her mid-fifties and her subsequent work as a book coach for memoir and nonfiction writers, particularly within the LGBTQ+ community. With warmth and wisdom, she delves into her experiences, the choices she faced, and the ongoing process of living authentically. Join us as we explore Suzette's powerful story, the complexities of coming out, the value of authenticity, and the importance of finding joy and freedom in living one's truth. Stay tuned as we uncover valuable insights and hear more about Suzette's memoir and coaching services.

📚 Timestamped overview

00:00 Transitioning to writing, becoming a book coach.

03:48 Editing nonfiction while cultivating a supportive environment.

06:43 Discovery of true self, challenging journey ahead.

10:38 Kept my sexuality secret until unbearable pain.

15:32 Acknowledging one's sexual orientation against resistance.

17:03 Christian friend questioned coming out as gay.

20:35 Being queer has risks but brings joy.

26:26 Struggling with coming out in a marriage.

27:46 Husband's support, fear, and advice for women.

❇️ Key topics and bullets

Primary Topic: Suzette's Journey and Work

- Suzette's professional background and transition to writing and coaching

- Lawyer, stay-at-home mom, social justice advocate

- Late start in writing and editing

- Suzette's memoir and book coaching focus

- Memoir about coming out in her mid-fifties

- Focus on memoir and nonfiction writers, particularly LGBTQ+ community

- Creation of a safe space for vulnerable writers

- Suzette's coming out journey

- Realization of love for a female friend

- Difficult decision about sexual identity and established life

- Balancing staying in a safe, comfortable life vs. risking it all for an envisioned life

Primary Topic: The Process of Coming Out

- The ongoing nature of coming out

- Decision-making process

- Dropping breadcrumbs of truth

- Balancing unbearable pain of lying with fairness to others

- Discomfort with labels and language

- Embracing the pride flag

- Negative experiences and reactions

- Experiences and reactions to coming out

- Different reactions from individuals in Suzette's life

- Privilege as a heterosexual person

- The cost of authenticity and potential joy and freedom

Primary Topic: Living Authentically

- Joy and freedom on the other side of coming out

- Finding a way to live fully and authentically

- Capturing the joy and glow desired for oneself

- Fear, peace, and freedom accompanying being true to oneself

- Facing crossroads and big decisions

- Holding both joy and grief in an authentic life

- Work on the second memoir, "After the Leap"

- Challenges of realizing one's identity within a marriage

- Grappling with the decision of what to