You Make Your Own Good Fortune

Epictetus’s most powerful line is about how it’s not things that upset us, but what we think about things that does all the damage. What he really meant is that our sense of what an obstacle or a disadvantage or a trial is—our subjective understanding—is more powerful than the objective reality. For instance, if you tell yourself that you were failed by your teachers and that’s why you’re not as smart as other people, for the rest of your life you’re going to have trouble learning and understanding things. It may be true that your teachers were less than adequate, but this story you’ve chosen to tell yourself is the true failure (and you can see how a person who tells themselves a different story about the same facts—’I attended underperforming schools but my hunger for learning allowed me to rise above it’ or ‘My street smarts make up for what I lack in education’—will do much better in life). As Epictetus said: “Sickness is an impediment to the body but not to the will unless the will wants to be impeded. Lameness is an impediment to the leg, but not to will. If you tell yourself this every time, you will find the impediment is to something else but not to yourself.” And let’s not forget, he was saying this as a person whose leg was crippled (from his time as a slave no less)! He refused to see a physical impairment as something that changed who he was as a person. He refused to tell himself that depressingly myopic narrative, that he was somehow inherently broken or deprived as a result of this injury. Instead, you can see in his teachings that, over and over again, he chose to tell himself a bigger, better story: That he had learned how powerful he really was, that no person could stop or harm him, even if they tried. That’s the narrative we want for ourselves. Yes, we have problems, but we are not the problem. We have flaws but we are not flawed. We might do something dumb but that doesn’t mean we are dumb. We decide what things mean. We decide what is actually an obstacle and what isn’t. We have the power. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

8 Helmi 20192min

Seneca wrote constantly about time. One of his most compelling observations was about how people are protective of their money, their property, their possessions, yet careless with the one thing they can’t get back. “It’s not that we have a short time to live,” he said, “but that we waste a lot of it. Can you imagine what he would say about the fact that today people average more than 5 hours a day on mobile devices? That’s 52 days a year—one-seventh of our lives—murdered! Cal Newport’s excellent new book Digital Minimalism, which just released this week, is an attempt to change that--to focus on limited time on the things that matter (deep work, family, being present, even the study of philosophy). In our interview with Cal for DailyStoic.com, he explained the two reasons why this is increasingly easier said than done. The first is that there are really smart computer scientists specifically engineering these devices and social media platforms to foster compulsive use. The second: “It fills a void. Life is hard. This hardness is especially manifested during those periods of downtime when you're alone with your thoughts. People avoid these confrontations through constant, low quality digital distraction much in the way that people of another era might have dealt with these difficulties with heavy drinking. But this is just a band-aid over a deeper wound.”How should we fill the void?“As the ancients taught us, the sustainable response is to instead dedicate your free time toward things that matter. Take on as much responsibility as you can bear, seek out quality for the sake of quality (as Aristotle recommends in The Ethics), serve your community, connect with real people in real life and sacrifice for them.All of this can seem daunting as compared to clicking "watch next" on your Netflix stream, but once engaged in these deeper pursuits, it's hard to go back to the shallow.”What if instead of reaching for our phones for even a dozen of the more than 2,600 times per day (!!) the average user engages with their mobile device, we reached for a journal and a pen? Or a book? Or what if we reached for nothing at all and just stared at the ceiling lost in thought? There are few problems you couldn’t solve if those 5 hours per day were spent thinking instead of scrolling. Put some distance between you and your devices today. Fill the void with things that add value to your life. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

7 Helmi 20193min

Seneca was a very rich man. He accumulated that fortune largely due to his service to Nero’s corrupt and broken regime, and then he put that money to work in Rome’s British colonies. In fact, he made so many enormous loans to colonists in Britain, that when the debt was called in around 60 AD, it set off a rebellion in which tens of thousands of people ultimately died. A few short years later, Seneca would learn just how painful it can be on the other side of an unpayable debt. Realizing, alarmingly late, just how deranged Nero was, Seneca tried to walk away from politics. Nero wouldn’t let him. Seneca tried to turn over to Nero everything Nero had ever given him. Even this was not enough--because Seneca, in working for such a man, had, in a sense, pledged him his life. In 65 AD, Nero, paranoid and cleaning house of potential enemies, called in the chit, and Seneca was forced to commit suicide. The lesson: Be wary of debt. Because it is not simply a financial matter. It can be a spiritual matter as well. For to owe can mean to be owned. It can mean that you’ve given up the little bit of control you have in the world and handed it over to a capricious or an insensitive person--or just somebody who values their money more than they value you. It was Marcus, after Seneca’s bloody cautionary tale, who exhibited a better relationship to debt. When he took over the Empire, its finances were a mess. So what did he do? He started selling off palace furnishings. In his view, it was better to live an austere life than one in debt to other people--people who would then try to influence his policy or limit his options. Today in the modern world, debt is a little easier to manage and the markets are a bit more complex. No one is saying you can’t have a mortgage on your house, only that if you have more than one of them...you probably have too much house. No one is saying that you can’t use a credit card, only that if you’re carrying a balance with a minimum payment larger than your most expensive utility bill...you probably need to examine your spending habits. No one is saying you can’t borrow to invest or grow a business, only that you need to be rational and smart about it. Avoid owing and being owned, before someone calls in a chit you cannot pay. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

6 Helmi 20193min

No one would ever call Winston Churchill a quitter. His whole reputation is built on his instinct to fight. He was the lone objector when appeasement toward Hitler reigned as policy in the 1930s. He was the one strong enough to inspire the British people to hold out against the Nazi bombardment and a potential invasion until America entered the war. His personal motto was KBO...Keep Buggering On.You may have even heard the first part of his famous speech which he gave to the boys at the Harrow School, which he had attended as a child, “Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty.”But did you know there was a second part to it? That Churchill wasn’t saying to hold out forever in every circumstance? This is the full quote:“Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty. Never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense.”So there you have the famous never-quitter explaining the conditions under which you should quit or give in: when you are honor bound or when it makes no sense to continue.An example: When Churchill lost the confidence of his government in November 1915, he resigned his position and enlisted in the Royal Scots Fusiliers. His old path ceased to be even remotely viable, so he found another way to serve with honor. And while Hitler might have thought that Churchill was insane for not negotiating a peace with Germany, Churchill actually did see a way through, and knew there was a good chance his country could endure. In one case, it was good sense to give in, in the other, it wasn’t.The Stoics were all about this balance. Yes, they were big proponents of perseverance and persistence. No, they didn’t run away just because things got hard. But they weren’t masochists either. They didn’t believe in hurling themselves against a wall that would never give way.Marcus used a vivid analogy for people who continue to be the same person, despite the obvious signs it wasn’t working—he said they were like "animal fighters at the games—torn half to pieces, covered in blood and gore, and still pleading to be held over till tomorrow...to be bitten and clawed again."Today we talk about this colloquially as the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.That’s no way to live. It’s good to be tough, but hardly noble to be stupid. Sticking to something is commendable, but not if that inflexibility comes at the expense of other, viable solutions or if it becomes its own vice. Remember that today. Never, ever, ever, ever give in...except when it makes sense. Let honor be your guide, not bullheadedness nor cowardice.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

5 Helmi 20193min

Near the end of the Eisenhower Administration, the speechwriter James C. Humes was asked to help the president write a short address. After submitting a draft, Humes was called to Eisenhower’s office to discuss. As soon as he stepped into the room, he could tell that Eisenhower had a problem with what he’d written. “What’s the QED* of this speech?” Eisenhower said to him with only a little patience. Humes was confused. “QED,” he said, “what’s that?” “Quod Erat Demonstrandum,” Eisenhower barked. “Don’t you remember your geometry? What’s the bottom line? In one sentence!” Eisenhower was a brilliant man, but a simple and a straightforward one after years in the Army. He didn’t have time to beat around the bush and so he didn’t put up with rambling or equivocation. He wanted his speeches to have a point and he wanted everyone who worked for him to know the message. This is a good lesson for anyone and everyone when it comes to communication. (You may remember our earlier email: If It’s Not Simple, It’s Bullshit). Don’t dress things up more than they need to be. Don’t hedge. Don’t distract. Be blunt. Tell the truth. Speak plainly. But what if we had to apply Eisenhower’s test to Stoicism itself? What’s the QED of this philosophy we’re studying? Well, that’s good for everyone to think about today. Can you describe Stoicism in a sentence?* Could you actually offer a good definition if somebody asked you about it? Spend some time thinking about that. Even better, don’t just ponder what Stoicism is about, what are you about? What defines you? What do you stand for? What’s your bottom line? In one sentence!*Here’s our QED for Stoicism: A Stoic believes they don’t control the world around them, only how they respond--and that they must always respond with courage, temperance, wisdom, and justice.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

4 Helmi 20192min

The motto of the United States—seen imprinted on its currency and its buildings—is e pluribus unum: “Out of many, one.”It happens that this is also more or less the aim of Stoicism too, to take the many parts of a person and turn them into a unified, coherent soul. Each of us is made up of competing desires and impulses and needs, yet all of this is part of who we are. More importantly, with work and study, philosophy is designed to integrate and order all of this into its proper place within us.On a larger level, Stoicism—as a kind of civic religion in Rome—was designed to take the many and turn them into one thing, a Roman. Seneca was from Cordoba. Epictetus was fromHierapolis. Marcus was from Rome proper. These are diverse and far flung places, each had their own spin and their own style, yet they became part of a larger whole of Stoicism and the Roman empire. It was their notions of duty and responsibility and their sense of right and wrong that made this happen, that aligned interests and beliefs and lifestyles.If you step back even further you can see how we, ourselves, are melded in and absorbed into this larger tradition and process. Time and distance and technology collapse temporal and geographic and cultural boundaries so that we may become one. Part of the same whole that the ancient Stoics were a part of..This is sympatheia—on the individual and the marco level.Unfortunately, we are losing that unifying thrust these days. As the documentarian Ken Burns has joked, there is too much pluribus and not enough unum. There’s too much focus on our individual selves and our differences and not what we hold in common or what joins us together.This is a tragedy. It causes needless strife and conflict. Which is why today, as you walk the streets or the halls of your office, think about this process—the way we can become part of something larger than ourselves, what we share in common and what we can do for each other. Unity is better than division. Many is better than one only when the many become one.But it starts...with you.We think that every leader and citizen should think deeply about this idea of sympatheia. We were made for each other and to serve a common good, as Marcus put it. That’s why we made our Sympatheia challenge coin, which can serve as a practical, tangible reminder of the causes and the larger whole we are all members of. You can check it out in the Daily Stoic storeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1 Helmi 20193min

Just a few weeks ago, the writer Austin Murphy wrote an insightful, revealing article for The Atlantic that personalized the changing nature of the economic and technological landscape in the 21st century western world. Murphy is one of the most successful sportswriters of his generation. He worked for Sports Illustrated for 33 years. He penned some 140 cover stories. He’d published 6 books. He’d interviewed 5 presidents. And yet—and this is the subject of the piece—now he finds himself delivering packages for Amazon for a living. A job is a job, of course, but the man whose job used to involve trips to France with an expense account to cover the Tour de France now had a job where he struggled to find places to use the bathroom during the day. The most interesting part of the piece is that it’s not a criticism of Amazon or a pity party for the author. In fact, it’s quite philosophical. Particularly this passage:“Lurching west in stop-and-go traffic on I-80 that morning, bound for Berkeley and a day of delivering in the rain, I had a low moment, dwelling on how far I’d come down in the world. Then I snapped out of it. I haven’t come down in the world. What’s come down in the world is the business model that sustained Time Inc. for decades. I’m pretty much the same writer, the same guy. I haven’t gone anywhere. My feet are the same.”There is a beautiful meditation from Marcus Aurelius along the same lines. "A rock thrown in the air,” he says, “it loses nothing by coming down, gained nothing by going up." This is easy to say, and easy to forget, but it’s an essential bit of perspective that both wards off ego when things are going well and protects us against depression when we experience setbacks. We have to remember that external events, possessions, status markers, achievements don’t change us. An impressive job doesn’t make us an impressive person, just as a bad review doesn’t mean we’re without talent. Having a lot of money doesn’t make us special and not having money doesn’t make us worthless. Up, down, middling along—we are not changed by our status. Only our actions and our choices reflect on who we are. Only what we are doing right now in the present moment matters—not the past, not the extrapolated future. And actually not even that—it’s how we are doing what we are doing that matters. Our feet are the same, wherever we are, regardless of the lofty heights we’ve climbed or darkened depths we’ve fallen to. Don’t forget that. Because in it is strength and freedom.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

31 Tammi 20193min

If a close friend had their home broken into, you’d comfort them and tell them that it was only stuff that had been stolen. If your child broke their favorite toy, you’d tell them that these things happen and try to get them to play with something else. If a waiter spilled on your friend, you’d calm them down by saying it was an accident. Basically, when stuff happens to other people, we’re able to see it clearly with some perspective and some detachment. But when our stuff breaks or is lost, it’s always so much different. It’s suddenly a tragedy, or worse, a deliberate misdeed that has been wrongly inflicted upon us. I lost so much. But I really loved that toy. You ruined my favorite shirt. You meant to do that.  We take it personally, because it is personal--it happened to us. And then we’re miserable. That’s why the Stoics try to practice detachment. Not in the sense that they don’t love other people or that they avoid relationships or possessions, but in the sense that when something happens to one of those things, they try to see it with some perspective. Epictetus points out how when someone we know loses a loved one, we can say, “that’s just life.” But when we lose a loved one, it’s suddenly, “Poor me!” And yet it is fundamentally the same event. We’ve just decided to indulge the more severe judgment--the one that doesn’t bring back the person we grieved, and only makes us feel terrible. Epictetus’s advice when we get upset is to remember how we feel when we hear it has happened to someone else. We care, sure, but not so much that it deeply distresses us. We’re empathetic but unbroken. We’re calm, we’re collected, we understand. And then, we move on. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

30 Tammi 20192min