It Begins and Ends With You | Episode 23

Danielle, Val, and Ani have a conversation around the topic of Protection in this week’s episode of the Big Money Stylist podcast.

For Big Money Stylist, we go over the following formula each month: Week #1: Power Week #2: Production Week #3: Profit Week #4: Protection In This Week’s Episode…..PROTECTION Point #1: Meltdown Territory

• Coach Val: When I hear the phrase “meltdown territory,” it means that you’re about to hit it. You’re not there yet, but you’re about to freak the fuck out and shit’s about to go sideways. Coach Ani: You’re about to hit rock fucking bottom. You’re not doing well, physically or emotionally.
• Danielle: Everybody has a bucket, and everybody has different levels to their bucket before they flip their lid. When I hear meltdown mode, if you have 17 levels before you hit meltdown mode, you’re at a 16.9, and you’re about ready to flip your lid. Sometimes when you flip your lid, that amount of emotion makes you reevaluate things to take the actions necessary to do what you’re supposed to be doing.

QUESTION

What happens to you when you enter meltdown territory?

Point #2: Survival Mode

• Coach Ani: We’re constantly asking ourselves, “Is she in meltdown territory? Is he in meltdown territory?” Are they on the ledge? Did you talk them off the ledge? I think artists will understand it as burn out mode. They love their job so much that sometimes they grind and grind and grind, thinking it’s a good thing, when, in reality, it’s not actually serving them.
  Coach Val: We tend to measure success by how busy we are. And because we love doing what we do so much, it’s hard to tell people, no. In that space, you’re not producing your best work but rather just maintaining and keeping your head above water; you’re hanging on in survival mode. At that point, it’s not about doing your best work, and in this space, a lot of shit can go sideways.

QUESTION

What areas of your life are impacted when you find yourself in survival mode more often than not?

Point #3: State of Implosion

• Danielle: Once you reach that state of implosion, you have to take a few steps back. It slows you down, which can be a good thing because it gets you to this place where you can finally do shit. But at the same time, you don’t want every growth point in your life to be measured based on explosions. You want to be able to recognize the signs early on, protect what you’re building, and take action before it explodes. It takes a lot of courage to do that.
• In my experience, that’s how I used to experience life – how both Garrett and I experienced life – through pain. Then I got to this point in life where I asked myself, “Why does every lesson in life have to be painful? I realized it was because I was choosing to take it to that painful point. As our businesses have grown, I’ve been trying to get to that place that is right before implosion.

QUESTION

What can you do to access growth without having to experience the pain of implosion first?

Point #4: Addicted to Growth

• Coach Ani: What we’re training and teaching has never before been seen inside the hair industry. We’re also teaching and incorporating the Warrior’s Way of having balance across CORE4 (Body, Being, Balance, Business). Our students are super excited to go forward and learn this. They’re learning so much and they’re so fucking amped that they keep doing more and more. When they realize they don’t actually have any balance and that they might be going backward, I find myself having to get them to reel it back in.
• Danielle: You get addicted to the growth, and in being addicted, you keep piling it on, “I’m changing my mindset, I’m living this new way!” When in reality, they’re actually regressing. Just as life has times and seasons, so does progressing and moving forward. Coach Val: I get that because I’m addicted to the growth. We see results happen so fast that we don’t want to stop. At the same time, you look around and realize that you’re also fucking some shit up and you’ve got to reel it back in.

QUESTION

How do you know when you’ve reached the point where it’s time for you to slow down and reel it back in?

Point #5: Letting Go

• Danielle: With everyone on the team, I feel we all have these seasons of craziness which is a signal to me that we have to readjust. The more we can slowly let go, the more we can grow, which I’ve experienced on so many levels. I used to think I was protecting my business by doing everything and micromanaging all of it. So many times a voice would come to me and say “you have to let it go.” My response? You can fuck right off. I’m not letting shit go.” When you’re addicted to that hustle and grind, the hardest thing is stepping back and saying I’m not the only one that is going to make this shit rise to the top.
• Ani: I’m just trying to protect BMS and get my head on straight. What I’ve noticed in BMS and in Warrior, is that protection is hardest for the single people because there is no “I should go home now and be with my family or my kids.” There’s none of that so grind mode is almost harder to get out of. Even when I go home, I almost feel guilty having that time off when there are things that need to get done, and if don’t do it, no one’s going to do it.

QUESTION

Where in your life do you know it’s time to start letting go?

Quote of the Week:

“Protect your words, protect yourself, protect your mindset, and respect yourself. If you lead with that approach, I think you’ll be surprised at how things are less emotional and more logical. Start off on the right foot by setting up your boundaries. If you’re a hairstylist, it’s not too late to go in and tell your boss what days and hours you’ll be working. Hold strong to it because the only person who is really going to let you down, is yourself.”

— Danielle White

“Boundaries can change as you evolve and change. If it’s not working for you anymore, adjust your boundaries. But remember, you have to be the one to do that, first and foremost, before anyone can show you that same respect. It starts and ends with you.”

–Valerie Plunk

“I’ve come to realize that I love working. I never have a problem with it. But then I’m like, shit, here I am teaching and training the Warrior’s Way to all of these women inside of BMS, yet I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t live this shit. I’ll remind myself, fucking Ani, you should probably learn to reel it in at some point. But then I swear it’s like a fishing line where all of a sudden I find myself hooked all over again.”

–Anianne Rivera