What's Your Story? | BMS | Ep 035

his week's episode of the Big Money Stylist, the topic is Production, and inside of that the ladies have a conversation about stories – how to recognize when we are in a story that isn't serving us, how to change our stories, how to separate facts from feelings, and how to ultimately live the life we want through asking the hard questions, checking the Ego, and making necessary course corrections.

For Big Money Stylist, we go over the following formula each month: Week #1: Power Week #2: Production Week #3: Profit Week #4: Protection In This Week's Episode…..PRODUCTION Point #1: What Are Stories?

Danielle: People will say they can't operate at a certain level because they have a story of who they really are and how they operate. They can't see beyond who they are inside of that story.
Coach Val: It's human nature to justify anything you're doing. If you say you don't have any stories, you're bullshitting yourself. When you're stuck in a negative cycle, that's when your story isn't serving you.

QUESTION

Where in your life are you living inside of a story that isn't serving you?

Point #2: Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome

• Coach Ani: People use stories as an excuse to play small. Realistically, growth is not easy and can be painful so they find a story inside their bubble where they feel safe and cling to that.
• Danielle: When people get stuck in a story, they are literally feeding other emotions. They feel loved in doing this shitty thing, and at some level, the story is validating them.
  
  

QUESTION

What story are you living inside of that is giving you validation?

Point #3: Moving Forward

• Coach Val: People don't take action because they have choreographed every last detail in their head of how the story is going to play out. Yet so many factors can come in and change that outcome.
• Coach Ani: Sometimes we find that we have been in a situation for so long that we don't ask ourselves the question, "Am I really happy? Do I really want this outcome?"

QUESTION

What are some of your excuses for not moving forward?

Point #4: Facts and Feelings

• Coach Val: When you separate feelings from facts, you are able to make a clearer decision; you're able to see how your story is stunting your growth.
• Coach Ani: Sometimes people need more emotion inside a situation because they're being too ice cold and not feeling what's actually happening. And then sometimes they are so far into their emotions that they need their head to back them out to be able to look at the facts without any emotion.

QUESTION

When you separate facts and feelings from a situation you currently find yourself in, what are you discovering?

Point #5: Ego Check

• There was a time when the ladies had stories that they were the only ones who could do what they were doing inside of NBR and BMS. Those stories fell away when they began hiring others who were able to come in and take on these roles.
• In letting go, it frees time up for them to create more business ideas, ut creates space for them to enjoy life, and it also gives others a chance to rise up and reach their potential.

QUESTION

Where in your life are you willing to give up control for the benefit of everyone?

Quote of the Week:

"If you have a story, ask yourself "Why am I letting this story serve me?" There's a piece to the story that might make you feel validated so ask what the validation key in that story is. Could you change the story and still have the feeling of validation?"

–Danielle White

"If you are wanting things to change, look at what you're telling yourself, then tell yourself the polar opposite. Look at it through a different lens. If you get stuck in a story, you're just that – stuck – and you can't move forward."

–Valerie Plunk

"Begin asking yourself the hard questions: Do I want this person on my team? Do I want this relationship back? Is this part of my life serving me? If you're not willing to ask yourself the hard questions, you stay stuck in the same stories forever."

–Anianne Rivera