How to Stay Calm with Strong Willed Kids? :: Kirk Martin [Ep 479] Summer of Mentorship Week Three

How to Stay Calm with Strong Willed Kids? :: Kirk Martin [Ep 479] Summer of Mentorship Week Three

I love Kirk’s realistic approach to parenting. He understands what your home dynamics are like. And gives practical tips. After listening to today’s episode you will have at least three different “tricks” to apply.
Most of all, I’m thankful for the new perspective he has given me. Kirk helped me recognize how emotionally invested I was in my boys’ behavior and freed me from the need to regulate their behavior for them.
The last couple days I’ve enjoyed the boys more. I’m also less tense and frustrated when we are out in public. In fact, I may need to go back and listen to this episode more than once, so it sticks!
This episode originally aired in May of 2015
Kirk came back on the show multiple times. Check out additional episodes here.
What we chat about:
  • Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
  • The switch he made from training 1500 kids in his home to training parents to calm themselves.
  • The one thing you can do today to de-escalate a tense situation in your home.
  • How to calmly handle your child’s meltdown

I can only control one person in life, and that’s me.

  • How motion changes emotion–helping little ones calm down b/c they don’t know how to “think” their way out.
  • What to do in the middle of Target aisle 3 when your child freaks out
  • Handling a tantruming child when his siblings are fighting and another needs help with homework and dinner is cooking (Heather’s daily 5 pm reality).

If you don’t care enough about yourself, to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually. . .why would anyone else care?

  • How sometimes parents want good behavior so badly, they are too invested in it and give children too much control.
  • How to be an impartial giver of wisdom.
  • Write down your emotional triggers & do the opposite of what you normally do.

Connect with Kirk:
Site :: Twitter :: Facebook :: Podcast
Links Mentioned:
  • CDs/DVDs
  • 888-506-1871–Toll Free Number for Frustrated Parents

Summer of Mentorship Discussion Questions:
  • Discuss Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
  • If you struggle to stay calm when your kids are out of control, what are some of your triggers?
  • Which of Kirk’s ideas to de-escalate a situation is most realistic for you? Thinking about how motion changes emotion.
  • How did you react to Kirk’s idea of being an “impartial giver of wisdom” instead of being so invested in how your kids behave?
  • Spend some time working through a part of your day that is most challenging or a situation with a particular child and brainstorm ways you could respond differently. Share with others in the group and get their ideas if you are willing.

Featured Sponsors:
  • Thrive Market: Save time and money and shop Thrive Market today. Go to ThriveMarket.com/DMA for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift!
  • Better Help: This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Stop comparing and start focusing, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/dma today to get 10% off your first month.
Greenlight: This episode is sponsored by Greenlight. Sign up for Greenlight today and get your first month free when you go to Greenlight.com/dma.

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Relationship + Respect (8 going on 18) :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 4 [Ep 417]

Relationship + Respect (8 going on 18) :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 4 [Ep 417]

What do you do when your kids are a little sassier than necessary?  How do you respond? Can we shape their responses? When does it really matter? To answer those questions we need both perspective and wisdom.  We’re taking time this summer (as usual) to be mentored by an experienced mom and benefit from her wisdom. Bonus! My guest for these 6 weeks is both wise AND funny.  Join me for conversations with wife, mom, author, and podcaster Cynthia Yanof. We’ll answer some listener questions, share our experiences, and laugh a lot.  Connect with Cynthia Yanof:  Website:  https://cynthiayanof.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.yanof  Instagram:  @cynthiayanof  Podcast: MESSmerized  Related Episodes: 10 Ways to Stop Meltdowns and Arguments :: Kirk Martin [Ep 139] The Legacy of a Calm Father :: Kirk Martin [Ep 139]  The Respect Effect :: Emerson Eggerichs [Ep 122] Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

10 Heinä 202331min

The Unicorn That is Adult Friendship :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 3 [Ep 416]

The Unicorn That is Adult Friendship :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 3 [Ep 416]

Who are your close friends? What do you do to cultivate friendships in your life? Friendship as an adult can feel like we’re unicorn-hunting, clinging to some childhood ideal or tv show standard. But real life friendship requires risk and it can come and go in seasons. And it is so worth it.  We’re taking time this summer (as usual) to be mentored by an experienced mom and benefit from her wisdom. Bonus! My guest for these 6 weeks is both wise AND funny.  Join me for conversations with wife, mom, author, and podcaster Cynthia Yanof. We’ll answer some listener questions, share our experiences, and laugh a lot. Connect with Cynthia Yanof:  Website:  https://cynthiayanof.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.yanof  Instagram:  @cynthiayanof  Podcast: MESSmerized Links Mentioned:    Find Your People by Jennie Allen  Related Episodes: Be Vulnerable, Find Your People :: Jennie Allen [Ep 354]  Friendship is Hard :: Amy Weatherly & Jess Johnston [Ep 350] Healing from Broken Friendships :: Shundria Riddick [Ep 321] Helping Our Kids Foster Friendships :: David Thomas & Sissy Goff [Ep 338] Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

3 Heinä 202341min

Raising Kids Who Can Stand Alone :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 2 [Ep 415]

Raising Kids Who Can Stand Alone :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - Wk 2 [Ep 415]

What do you feel when your child is struggling? How do you decide when to step in?  Whether it's fighting for your attention from a new baby or struggling with a new skill there are times for us to intervene and there are times for us to let our kids be uncomfortable. Yes, because we’re limited, but also because, as our summer of mentorship guest puts it, “If I want to raise kids that can stand alone, then I've gotta let them.” We’re taking time this summer (as usual) to be mentored by an experienced mom and benefit from her wisdom. Bonus! My guest for these 6 weeks is both wise AND funny.  Join me for conversations with wife, mom, author, and podcaster Cynthia Yanof. We’ll answer some listener questions, share our experiences, and laugh a lot.  Connect with Cynthia Yanof:  Website:  https://cynthiayanof.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.yanof  Instagram:  @cynthiayanof  Podcast: MESSmerized Related Episodes: Resolving Sibling Conflict :: Jim & Lynne Jackson [Ep 126] 5 Principles to Guide Motherhood :: Rosemary McFadyen [Ep 44] Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

26 Kesä 202334min

Little Liar Face :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - wk 1 [Ep 414]

Little Liar Face :: Cynthia Yanof - Summer of Mentorship - wk 1 [Ep 414]

12What do you do when your kid lies? What about when your kid doesn’t make the team? Is this your failure or theirs…or is it something else?  We’re taking time this summer (as usual) to be mentored by an experienced mom and benefit from her wisdom. Bonus! My guest for these 6 weeks is both wise AND funny.  Join me for conversations with wife, mom, author, and podcaster Cynthia Yanof. We’ll answer some listener questions, share our experiences, and laugh a lot.  Connect with Cynthia Yanof:  Website:  https://cynthiayanof.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.yanof  Instagram:  @cynthiayanof  Podcast: MESSmerized Related Episodes: Focus on Growth vs Guilt :: Lisa Bever [Ep 291] Choosing Connection Over Critique :: Rachel Macy Stafford [Ep 280] Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

19 Kesä 202339min

Parenting Neurodivergent Children--Summer Edition :: Carrie Casell [Ep 413]

Parenting Neurodivergent Children--Summer Edition :: Carrie Casell [Ep 413]

How does your child’s behavior reflect on you?  That’s a trick question -  it doesn’t. But it’s easy for us to feel that it does. Parenting a neurodivergent child can heighten those feelings of guilt or shame when our child doesn’t behave in an expected way or when traditional forms of discipline or parenting simply don’t work. Pile on top of that everyone’s summer activity and vacation social media posts and you might be tempted to believe the lie that your family is less than somehow, or always missing out.  My guest this week, Carrie Cassell, is mom to some fantastic neurodivergent kids. Her profound encouragement to “go with the child you have, not the child you wish you had” reaches to every mom. Through her honesty with her own emotions and journey through motherhood thus far she reminds us neurodivergent brains aren’t bad or broken, they’re unique.  Carrie created a space online for parents and caregivers of neurodivergent kids, Mosaic Connection. She invites parents into community to free them from isolation and shame, to connect them with themselves and do the inner work so they can help their kids believe the best about themselves.  Connect with Carrie Cassell:  Website:  https://www.mosaicconnection.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100089418138152  Instagram:  @MosaicConnectionInsta  YouTube: Mosaic Connection - YouTube    Related Episodes: It’s Not About the Food :: Angie Buja & Carrie Cassell [Ep 173] Helping Your Child with Sensory Processing Issues :: Lynne Jackson [Ep 258] Parenting Sensitive and Intense Kids :: Lynne Jackson and Lydia Rex [Ep 395] When Your Child is on the Autism Spectrum (Part One) :: Terri Conlin [Ep 182] When Your Child is on the Autism Spectrum (Part Two) :: Terri Conlin [Ep 182] ADHD :: Sarah Furlich [Ep 165]   Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

12 Kesä 202353min

Mentoring for Women in the Workplace :: Diane Paddison  [Ep 412]

Mentoring for Women in the Workplace :: Diane Paddison [Ep 412]

If your God-given assignment is to work outside of your home or the WFH life,  how do you manage the schedules and responsibilities and feelings that accompany those places?  Mothering well is always hard - whether you work outside of the home or not. But moms who do work outside the home can feel a particular kind of difficulty caught between wanting to be the best mom and the best at work. My guest this week, Diane Paddison, gives us great encouragement and insight. As a single mom on a global executive team she zeroed in on what was important and built her schedule from those priorities. Diane has served as global executive of two Fortune 500 companies and is a leading advocate for women in the workplace. She is the founder and president of 4Word Women, a mentoring ministry for Christian women.  Connect with Diane Paddison:  Website:  https://4wordwomen.org/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/4wordwomen  Instagram:  @4wordwomen LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/4wordwomen   Links Mentioned:   https://4wordwomen.org/  Work, Love, Pray: Practical Wisdom for Professional Christian Woman and Those Who Want to Understand Them by Diane Paddison Be Refreshed: A Year of Devotions for Women in the Workplace by Diane Paddison   Related Episodes: Corporate Working Moms :: Causha Jolly & Stacey McCabe [Ep 205] Working from Home :: Jehava Brown [Ep 288]  Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

5 Kesä 202352min

A Mash-Up of Summer Support [Ep 411]

A Mash-Up of Summer Support [Ep 411]

What do you feel when you hear, “It’s summertime”? Dread? Excitement? Anxiety? All three?  No matter how many summers you’ve been mom-ing it’s the same - there will be fun and boredom, magical moments and fighting and we’ll be tired of it and wish it wouldn’t end. Join me this week as we talk about how to ENJOY summer, navigate sibling conflict, and much more.  Clips from these original episodes: Summer (& Sibling) Survival Guide :: Kirk Martin [Ep 77] Summer Strategies :: Laura and Courtney [Ep 249]  Links Mentioned: Evil for Evil [DMA BLOG POST] Laura Hernandez Surviving Summer Course Courtney Cleveland All the Best Days Travel Guides, Packing Lists and Bags Kirk Martin Celebrate Calm Reusable Water Balloons Water Gun Activity  Sidewalk chalk Cynthia Yanof, host of the MESSmerized podcast Summer of Mentorship (sign up here for podcast club emails)  Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

29 Touko 202358min

The Praying Mama :: Natasha Miller [Ep 410]

The Praying Mama :: Natasha Miller [Ep 410]

What are your patterns of prayer? Has it been hard for you to fall into a rhythm of prayer? We know that prayer matters and works. It changes us, it opens our eyes to where God is at work around us. We want to pray for our kids, for ourselves, for others we love - why does it feel so difficult to jump in? My guest this week is Natasha Miller, The Praying Mama, and our conversation is full of encouragement for your prayer life. Through her own journey into connection with the Lord through prayer, Natasha invites us to know God’s nearness and to leave a legacy of trust in Him.   Connect with Natasha Miller:  Website:  https://natashaannmiller.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/natashaannmillerlive  Instagram:  @natashaannmiller  Podcast: Her Freedom Podcast  Links Mentioned:    Praying the Scriptures Journal by Jodie Berndt Related Episodes: Praying the Scriptures :: Jodie Berndt [Ep 194] Listening to the Lord :: Kelsey Phillips [Ep 279]  When You Don’t Know What to Pray :: Kayla Craig [Ep 344] Available Now:  Heather’s new book, “Right Where You Belong” is now available wherever books are sold.  Featured Sponsors:  Find links to this week’s sponsors and unique promo codes at dontmomalone.com/sponsors.

22 Touko 202341min

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