Don't Mom Alone Podcast22 Heinä 2024

How to Stay Calm with Strong Willed Kids? :: Kirk Martin [Ep 479] Summer of Mentorship Week Three

I love Kirk’s realistic approach to parenting. He understands what your home dynamics are like. And gives practical tips. After listening to today’s episode you will have at least three different “tricks” to apply.
Most of all, I’m thankful for the new perspective he has given me. Kirk helped me recognize how emotionally invested I was in my boys’ behavior and freed me from the need to regulate their behavior for them.
The last couple days I’ve enjoyed the boys more. I’m also less tense and frustrated when we are out in public. In fact, I may need to go back and listen to this episode more than once, so it sticks!
This episode originally aired in May of 2015
Kirk came back on the show multiple times. Check out additional episodes here.
What we chat about:

Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
The switch he made from training 1500 kids in his home to training parents to calm themselves.
The one thing you can do today to de-escalate a tense situation in your home.
How to calmly handle your child’s meltdown

I can only control one person in life, and that’s me.

How motion changes emotion–helping little ones calm down b/c they don’t know how to “think” their way out.
What to do in the middle of Target aisle 3 when your child freaks out
Handling a tantruming child when his siblings are fighting and another needs help with homework and dinner is cooking (Heather’s daily 5 pm reality).

If you don’t care enough about yourself, to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually. . .why would anyone else care?

How sometimes parents want good behavior so badly, they are too invested in it and give children too much control.
How to be an impartial giver of wisdom.
Write down your emotional triggers & do the opposite of what you normally do.

Connect with Kirk:
Site :: Twitter :: Facebook :: Podcast
Links Mentioned:

CDs/DVDs
888-506-1871–Toll Free Number for Frustrated Parents

Summer of Mentorship Discussion Questions:

Discuss Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
If you struggle to stay calm when your kids are out of control, what are some of your triggers?
Which of Kirk’s ideas to de-escalate a situation is most realistic for you? Thinking about how motion changes emotion.
How did you react to Kirk’s idea of being an “impartial giver of wisdom” instead of being so invested in how your kids behave?
Spend some time working through a part of your day that is most challenging or a situation with a particular child and brainstorm ways you could respond differently. Share with others in the group and get their ideas if you are willing.

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Christmas Traditions with Little Ones :: Jacki Rucksdashel [Ep 142]

I know, I know it’s not even Thanksgiving yet. . .and seeing the word “Christmas” may trigger a mix of excitement and terror. My goal in this episode is to help prepare you. To empower you in sharing with your kids the good news of God taking on flesh and dwelling among us. To help you create meaningful family traditions that your kids can pass on to the next generation. Today’s guest is my good friend, Jacki Rucksdashel, author of the Jesse Tree Project. She is a mom to two amazing kids, a former classical education teacher and a darling, godly woman. Jacki and I chat about the value of creating Biblically-based Christmas traditions. Fortunately, there are lots of options these days for families to celebrate Advent. We’re gonna help you sort through them so you can stay sane in the holiday cray-cray. Jacki & I encourage you to pick one (maybe two) of the options. And to consider your family’s interests, ages, and values when choosing. We also share personal stories of our “less-than-perfect” attempts at memory making. And how to be realistic when celebrating the holidays with little ones. Loved this from Jacki, sharing the heart behind this conversation: Am I teaching my children that Christmas is about busyness? Or am I teaching my children that Christmas is about sitting at Jesus’s feet, and resting, and enjoying his birth and the fulfilling of the promise? It can get so easy so forget that, even in doing all the good things. What we chat about: Choosing a few, enjoyable traditions for your family, instead of ALL of them Why are Christmas traditions such a big deal, anyway? You can be your family’s first tradition-starter The Jesse Tree Project, and how it’s made especially for families with young children Using children’s anticipation for Christmas to mirror the Bible’s anticipation for a Savior Our own funny stories of how “perfectly planned” traditions turned out…um…less than perfect (i.e.: being realistic) Why it’s a good thing Jesus is NOT like Santa or the Elf on the Shelf Other great tradition starters for young children: Shepard on a Search, Star from Afar, The Giving Manger, Light ‘Em Up How to “mix and match” to find the right fit for your family Setting priorities by reverse-engineering from Dec 26 and what you would consider a (realistic) successful holiday. Links Mentioned: The Jesse Tree Project & How to Lead a Group Unwrapping the Greatest Gift ** Truth in the Tinsel (OhAmanda Episode 3) Visiting Santa (Heather’s thoughts on using Santa to teach grace) Elf on the Shelf ** Shepherd on a Search Star from Afar The Giving Manger Light Em Up (Courtney DeFeo Episode 50)

13 Marras 201652min

Raising Girls :: Sissy Goff [Ep 141]

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice. . .including sassiness? Now I’m not a girl mom. But I am a girl. That’s gotta count for something. I know how complicated my emotions can be. With all the social media and cultural pressures, I can only imagine how overwhelming it is to raise a girl nowadays. Good news!!! Today’s help comes from girl expert and licensed counselor, Sissy Goff. She spends most of her days chatting with girls and their families. The author of eight books including, “Raising Girls”, Sissy brings loads of wisdom and perspective. In this episode we spend the first chunk of time talking on the topic of beauty. Then we move into whining and strong emotions (including the epidemic of childhood anxiety). Sissy shares great thoughts on girl friendships and sister stress. Personally, I love her thoughts on how attention issues (e.g., ADHD) can impact girls socially. Lastly, she gives excellent advice on how to maintain a healthy mother-daughter relationship. And this quote: What we chat about: Speaking to the different areas of beauty God has placed in each girl, specifically calling out strength and bravery. How we, as moms, talk about OURSELVES influences how our daughters see themselves. Helping girls develop their own identity. Keeping an ongoing dialogue and pulling your daughter back “into the huddle of your family” to discuss external messages. Building up confidence helps lessen the fixation on external beauty. Circling back to the places your daughter is confident and the things she likes about herself. The importance of a girl’s father (or other male role model in her life) to show her she is valued for who she is. Helping your daughter realize most girls share her same struggles. Managing her intense emotions at home and recognizing anxiety. Teaching empathy in practical ways. Identifying “balcony friends,” “basement friends,” and “rollercoaster friends.” Respecting her capabilities and fighting the urge to “fix everything” as she moves into the teen years. Links Mentioned: raisingboysandgirls.com daystarcounseling.com Courtney DeFeo Are My Kids on Track?: The 12 Emotional, Social, and Spiritual Milestones Your Child Needs to Reach (to be released Feb 2017) by Sissy Goff and Melissa Trevathan ** Modern Parents, Vintage Values: Instilling Character in Today’s Kid by Melissa Trevathan and Sissy Goff** Intentional Parenting: Autopilot Is for Planes by Sissy Goff and David Thomas** Raising Girls by Melissa Trevathan and Sissy Goff** Freeing Your Child from Anxiety by Tamar Chansky (mentioned in the interview)**

6 Marras 201655min