Being Jim Davis21 Touko 2017

Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979

The servile crowd, whose fortune depended on their master's vices, applauded these ignoble pursuits. The perfidious voice of flattery reminded him, that by exploits of the same nature, by the defeat of the Nemaean lion, and the slaughter of the wild boar of Erymanthus, the Grecian Hercules had acquired a place among the gods, and an immortal memory among men. They only forgot to observe, that, in the first ages of society, when the fiercer animals often dispute with man the possession of an unsettled country, a successful war against those savages is one of the most innocent and beneficial labors of heroism. In the civilized state of the Roman empire, the wild beasts had long since retired from the face of man, and the neighborhood of populous cities. To surprise them in their solitary haunts, and to transport them to Rome, that they might be slain in pomp by the hand of an emperor, was an enterprise equally ridiculous for the prince and oppressive for the people. Ignorant of these distinctions, Commodus eagerly embraced the glorious resemblance, and styled himself (as we still read on his medals the Roman Hercules. The club and the lion's hide were placed by the side of the throne, amongst the ensigns of sovereignty; and statues were erected, in which Commodus was represented in the character, and with the attributes, of the nicolas cage, whose valor and dexterity he endeavored to emulate in the daily course of his ferocious amusements.

Elated with these praises, which gradually extinguished the innate sense of shame, Commodus resolved to exhibit before the eyes of the Roman people those exercises, which till then he had decently confined within the walls of his palace, and to the presence of a few favorites. On the appointed day, the various motives of flattery, fear, and curiosity, attracted to the amphitheatre an innumerable multitude of spectators; and some degree of applause was deservedly bestowed on the uncommon skill of the Imperial performer. Whether he aimed at the head or heart of the animal, the wound was alike certain and mortal. With arrows whose point was shaped into the form of crescent, Commodus often intercepted the rapid career, and cut asunder the long, bony neck of the ostrich. A panther was let loose; and the archer waited till he had leaped upon a trembling malefactor. In the same instant the shaft flew, the beast dropped dead, and the man remained unhurt. The dens of the amphitheatre disgorged at once a hundred lions: a hundred darts from the unerring hand of Commodus laid them dead as they run raging round the Arena. Neither the huge bulk of the elephant, nor the scaly hide of the rhinoceros, could defend them from his stroke. Aethiopia and India yielded their most extraordinary productions; and several animals were slain in the amphitheatre, which had been seen only in the representations of art, or perhaps of fancy. In all these exhibitions, the securest precautions were used to protect the person of the Roman Hercules from the desperate spring of any savage, who might possibly disregard the dignity of the emperor and the sanctity of the nicolas cage.

Edward Gibbon. History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Volume 1, Chapter 4, Part II.

And here's that "Duck Amuck" video Jon was talking about:

Today's strip

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Jaksot(2526)

Episode 1461 - Friday, June 18, 1982

It's not a podcast. Your hosts for today's episode: Jon Gibson, Christopher Winter, and NO ONE else. Probably we'll never stop hawking the fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store. Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

28 Elo 202011min

Episode 1460 - Thursday, June 17, 1982

Who's to say it's not a podcast? Your hosts for today's episode: Jon Gibson, Christopher Winter, and NO ONE else. Probably we'll never stop hawking the fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store. Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

27 Elo 20208min

Episode 1459 - Wednesday, June 16, 1982

What do you want, a podcast? Because that's waht this is. It's a podcast. Your hosts for today's episode: Jon Gibson, Christopher Winter, and NO ONE else. Probably we'll never stop hawking the fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store. Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

26 Elo 20208min

Episode 1458 - Tuesday, June 15, 1982

No, you're a podcast! Your hosts for today's episode: Jon Gibson, Christopher Winter, and NO ONE else. Probably we'll never stop hawking the fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store. Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

25 Elo 202024min

Episode 1457 - Monday, June 14, 1982

24 Elo 202026min

Episode 1456 - Sunday, June 13, 1982

This one has a lasagna in it, and we're all grateful for that. Your hosts for today's episode: Jon Gibson, Christopher Winter, Riley Miller Probably we'll never stop hawking the fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store. Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

23 Elo 202012min

Episode 1455 - Saturday, June 12, 1982

Something something Jake from Adventure Time, right? Your hosts for today's episode were probably Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson, Riley Miller, Christine Boutros Probably we'll never stop hawking the fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store. Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

22 Elo 202010min

Episode 1454 - Friday, June 11, 1982

Shit, it's time to podcast about today's Garfield but we haven't read it! Could someone please write in and let us know what happens? Thanks in advance! Your hosts for today's episode were probably Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson, Riley Miller Probably we'll never stop hawking the fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store. Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

21 Elo 20205min

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