Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979
Being Jim Davis21 Touko 2017

Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979

The servile crowd, whose fortune depended on their master's vices, applauded these ignoble pursuits. The perfidious voice of flattery reminded him, that by exploits of the same nature, by the defeat of the Nemaean lion, and the slaughter of the wild boar of Erymanthus, the Grecian Hercules had acquired a place among the gods, and an immortal memory among men. They only forgot to observe, that, in the first ages of society, when the fiercer animals often dispute with man the possession of an unsettled country, a successful war against those savages is one of the most innocent and beneficial labors of heroism. In the civilized state of the Roman empire, the wild beasts had long since retired from the face of man, and the neighborhood of populous cities. To surprise them in their solitary haunts, and to transport them to Rome, that they might be slain in pomp by the hand of an emperor, was an enterprise equally ridiculous for the prince and oppressive for the people. Ignorant of these distinctions, Commodus eagerly embraced the glorious resemblance, and styled himself (as we still read on his medals the Roman Hercules. The club and the lion's hide were placed by the side of the throne, amongst the ensigns of sovereignty; and statues were erected, in which Commodus was represented in the character, and with the attributes, of the nicolas cage, whose valor and dexterity he endeavored to emulate in the daily course of his ferocious amusements.

Elated with these praises, which gradually extinguished the innate sense of shame, Commodus resolved to exhibit before the eyes of the Roman people those exercises, which till then he had decently confined within the walls of his palace, and to the presence of a few favorites. On the appointed day, the various motives of flattery, fear, and curiosity, attracted to the amphitheatre an innumerable multitude of spectators; and some degree of applause was deservedly bestowed on the uncommon skill of the Imperial performer. Whether he aimed at the head or heart of the animal, the wound was alike certain and mortal. With arrows whose point was shaped into the form of crescent, Commodus often intercepted the rapid career, and cut asunder the long, bony neck of the ostrich. A panther was let loose; and the archer waited till he had leaped upon a trembling malefactor. In the same instant the shaft flew, the beast dropped dead, and the man remained unhurt. The dens of the amphitheatre disgorged at once a hundred lions: a hundred darts from the unerring hand of Commodus laid them dead as they run raging round the Arena. Neither the huge bulk of the elephant, nor the scaly hide of the rhinoceros, could defend them from his stroke. Aethiopia and India yielded their most extraordinary productions; and several animals were slain in the amphitheatre, which had been seen only in the representations of art, or perhaps of fancy. In all these exhibitions, the securest precautions were used to protect the person of the Roman Hercules from the desperate spring of any savage, who might possibly disregard the dignity of the emperor and the sanctity of the nicolas cage.

Edward Gibbon. History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Volume 1, Chapter 4, Part II.

And here's that "Duck Amuck" video Jon was talking about:

Today's strip

Jaksot(2526)

Episode 601 - Saturday, February 9, 1980

Episode 601 - Saturday, February 9, 1980

Hi there, it's the 1980s, where all of our TV sets are from the 50s. Today the crew from Magmar Sucks continue their Reign of Terror as replacement hosts as we delve into another sad chapter in continuing saga of abuse and cruelty that is Jon Arbuckle's relationship with his cat. I would not recommend skipping this one. Hosts: Chris Taylor, Blake Smith, Mark Frazier, John Dickendasher Today's strip Check out our: Website! (It’s great) Twitter! (It’s highly informative) Facebook! (We definitely actively administrate this) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

21 Huhti 20187min

Episode 600 - Friday, February 8, 1980

Episode 600 - Friday, February 8, 1980

It’s a meaningless milestone in a cold, uncaring universe that will not notice your impending rendezvous with oblivion. Hosts: Chris Taylor, Blake Smith, Mark Frazier, John Dickendasher Today's strip Check out our: Website! (It’s great) Twitter! (It’s highly informative) Facebook! (We definitely actively administrate this) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

20 Huhti 20186min

Episode 599 - Thursday, February 7, 1980

Episode 599 - Thursday, February 7, 1980

Here's another episode of the popular podcast Being Jim Davis. This one's eight minutes and fifteen seconds. A second is a unit of time with a fascinating history and whose current derivation I think I remember has something to do with the decay period of... I wanna say cesium atoms? I didn't bother looking it up though, so don't take my word for it. Hosts: Chris Taylor, Blake Smith, Mark Frazier, John Dickendasher Today's strip Check out our: Website! (It’s great) Twitter! (It’s highly informative) Facebook! (We definitely actively administrate this) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

19 Huhti 20188min

Episode 598 - Wednesday, February 6, 1980

Episode 598 - Wednesday, February 6, 1980

These guys are basically experts at doing this podcast now. Perhaps they have killed us and assumed our places already by the time this episode has posted; who knows? Hosts: Chris Taylor, Blake Smith, Mark Frazier, John Dickendasher Today's strip Check out our: Website! (It’s great) Twitter! (It’s highly informative) Facebook! (We definitely actively administrate this) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

18 Huhti 201811min

Episode 597 - Tuesday, February 5, 1980

Episode 597 - Tuesday, February 5, 1980

These guys are far, far too excited to be discussing Garfield. Hosts: Chris Taylor, Blake Smith, Mark Frazier, John Dickendasher Today's strip Check out our: Website! (It’s great) Twitter! (It’s highly informative) Facebook! (We definitely actively administrate this) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

17 Huhti 201810min

Episode 596 - Monday, February 4, 1980

Episode 596 - Monday, February 4, 1980

What the hell? Who are all these people? They're not usually Jim Davis! That's right, it's musical podcasts week here at the Pitch Drop network, which means for the next seven days you'll be treated to an entirely different set of obnoxious nerds hooting and screaming in your ear-holes! These fine folks from our inveterate sister podcast Magmar Sucks will no doubt take good care of you for the week, probably by starting off with an insightful discussion of how Lyman resembles an octopus or something like that. Oh, and if you really miss us for some unexplained reason, you can find us over on the Magmar Sucks feed. Hosts: Chris Taylor, Blake Smith, Mark Frazier, John Dickendasher Today's strip Check out our: Website! (It’s great) Twitter! (It’s highly informative) Facebook! (We definitely actively administrate this) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

16 Huhti 201810min

Episode 595 - Sunday, February 3, 1980

Episode 595 - Sunday, February 3, 1980

In today's episode of Being Jim Davis, Jon's audio is all fucked up near the end, so I have to cut in our Zoom backup, which is in mono and somewhat lower quality, but honestly, if you're still listening by that point, you probably have bigger problems. Hosts: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson, Blake Smith Today's strip Check out our: Website! (It’s great) Twitter! (It’s highly informative) Facebook! (We definitely actively administrate this) Dissatisfied with your lot in life? Maybe try listening to Magmar Sucks, Blake's podcast, that he owns and records entirely by himself with no help from anyone. Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

15 Huhti 201822min

Episode 594 - Saturday, February 2, 1980

Episode 594 - Saturday, February 2, 1980

In today's Being Jim Davis, it's Saturday, but I say it's Friday. So that's exciting. Hosts: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson, Blake Smith Today's strip Check out our: Website! (It’s great) Twitter! (It’s highly informative) Facebook! (We definitely actively administrate this) Dissatisfied with your lot in life? Maybe try listening to Magmar Sucks, Blake's podcast, that he owns and records entirely by himself with no help from anyone. Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

14 Huhti 201813min

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