Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979
Being Jim Davis21 Touko 2017

Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979

The servile crowd, whose fortune depended on their master's vices, applauded these ignoble pursuits. The perfidious voice of flattery reminded him, that by exploits of the same nature, by the defeat of the Nemaean lion, and the slaughter of the wild boar of Erymanthus, the Grecian Hercules had acquired a place among the gods, and an immortal memory among men. They only forgot to observe, that, in the first ages of society, when the fiercer animals often dispute with man the possession of an unsettled country, a successful war against those savages is one of the most innocent and beneficial labors of heroism. In the civilized state of the Roman empire, the wild beasts had long since retired from the face of man, and the neighborhood of populous cities. To surprise them in their solitary haunts, and to transport them to Rome, that they might be slain in pomp by the hand of an emperor, was an enterprise equally ridiculous for the prince and oppressive for the people. Ignorant of these distinctions, Commodus eagerly embraced the glorious resemblance, and styled himself (as we still read on his medals the Roman Hercules. The club and the lion's hide were placed by the side of the throne, amongst the ensigns of sovereignty; and statues were erected, in which Commodus was represented in the character, and with the attributes, of the nicolas cage, whose valor and dexterity he endeavored to emulate in the daily course of his ferocious amusements.

Elated with these praises, which gradually extinguished the innate sense of shame, Commodus resolved to exhibit before the eyes of the Roman people those exercises, which till then he had decently confined within the walls of his palace, and to the presence of a few favorites. On the appointed day, the various motives of flattery, fear, and curiosity, attracted to the amphitheatre an innumerable multitude of spectators; and some degree of applause was deservedly bestowed on the uncommon skill of the Imperial performer. Whether he aimed at the head or heart of the animal, the wound was alike certain and mortal. With arrows whose point was shaped into the form of crescent, Commodus often intercepted the rapid career, and cut asunder the long, bony neck of the ostrich. A panther was let loose; and the archer waited till he had leaped upon a trembling malefactor. In the same instant the shaft flew, the beast dropped dead, and the man remained unhurt. The dens of the amphitheatre disgorged at once a hundred lions: a hundred darts from the unerring hand of Commodus laid them dead as they run raging round the Arena. Neither the huge bulk of the elephant, nor the scaly hide of the rhinoceros, could defend them from his stroke. Aethiopia and India yielded their most extraordinary productions; and several animals were slain in the amphitheatre, which had been seen only in the representations of art, or perhaps of fancy. In all these exhibitions, the securest precautions were used to protect the person of the Roman Hercules from the desperate spring of any savage, who might possibly disregard the dignity of the emperor and the sanctity of the nicolas cage.

Edward Gibbon. History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Volume 1, Chapter 4, Part II.

And here's that "Duck Amuck" video Jon was talking about:

Today's strip

Jaksot(2526)

Episode 561 - Monday, December 31, 1979

Episode 561 - Monday, December 31, 1979

It’s Garfield! And just once more, for one final glorious episode, it's the 1970s! Enjoy. Hosts: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson Today's strip Check out our: Website! (You can do things there) Twitter! (It sucks) Facebook! (Whatever) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

12 Maalis 201816min

Episode 560 - Sunday, December 30, 1979

Episode 560 - Sunday, December 30, 1979

It’s another Garfield! But we didn't really talk about that; we mostly just argued about classical music. Today we say goodbye to guest host Nathan Vader Wyse (no, no we don't. We forgot to do that. Sorry). Nathan was a great addition to the show and you should go bother him on twitter. While you're at it, see if you can convince him to start doing that kickass tumblr of his again. Original piano version of this strip Ravel's orchestration of today's strip Prog-rock cover of today's strip by ELP Tomita's spacey electropop cover of today's strip Bolero sucks. Hosts: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson, Nathan Vader Wyse Today's strip Check out our: Website! (You can do things there) Twitter! (It sucks) Facebook! (Whatever) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

11 Maalis 201835min

Episode 559 - Saturday, December 29, 1979

Episode 559 - Saturday, December 29, 1979

Super fucked up that Jim Davis waited this long to bring back Lyman and then gave him BASICALLY NO AGENCY. He might as well be a piece of furniture for all he gets to do here. Oh well, maybe tomorrow. Hosts: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson, Nathan Vader Wyse Today's strip Check out our: Website! (You can do things there) Twitter! (It sucks) Facebook! (Whatever) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

10 Maalis 201815min

Episode 558 - Friday, December 28, 1979

Episode 558 - Friday, December 28, 1979

It’s a goddamn Garfield! At one point in today's episode I reference David Brooks's boner. I'd like to apologize for this crude and vulgar mistake. It was Chris Matthews' boner that I was thinking of. Sorry. Hosts: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson, Nathan Vader Wyse Today's strip Check out our: Website! (You can do things there) Twitter! (It sucks) Facebook! (Whatever) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

9 Maalis 201816min

Episode 557 - Thursday, December 27, 1979

Episode 557 - Thursday, December 27, 1979

I dunno, for me the humor in this one kinda falls flat. Hosts: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson, Nathan Vader Wyse Today's strip Check out our: Website! (You can do things there) Twitter! (It sucks) Facebook! (Whatever) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

8 Maalis 201816min

Episode 556 - Wednesday, December 26, 1979

Episode 556 - Wednesday, December 26, 1979

It’s a Garfield! Also, and I do not state this often enough given the impending advent of a new and terrifying decade, one of the very last days of an engorged and sickly 1970s, ravaged and pockmarked by the capricious vicissitudes of time, gasping for air in an anonymous bed in a forgotten wing of a secluded asylum, naked and perversely incognizant of its own foul decay. The grim drumbeat of senescence pounds ever onward. Hosts: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson, Nathan Vader Wyse Today's strip Check out our: Website! (You can do things there) Twitter! (It sucks) Facebook! (Whatever) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

7 Maalis 201811min

Episode 555 - Tuesday, December 25, 1979

Episode 555 - Tuesday, December 25, 1979

It’s a Christmas! Much like the previous Christmas outing, this Garfield is primarily focused on the invasion of Afghanistan and Garfield's butthole. Hosts: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson, Nathan Vader Wyse Today's strip Check out our: Website! (You can do things there) Twitter! (It sucks) Facebook! (Whatever) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

6 Maalis 201812min

Episode 554 - Monday, December 24, 1979

Episode 554 - Monday, December 24, 1979

It’s a Garfield, and that means a man exhibits irresponsible behavior! Hosts: Christopher Winter, Jon Gibson, Nathan Vader Wyse Today's strip Check out our: Website! (You can do things there) Twitter! (It sucks) Facebook! (Whatever) Don’t forget to support us on Patreon! Or check out pitchdrop.net for more of this and other shows.

5 Maalis 201815min

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