Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979
Being Jim Davis21 Touko 2017

Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979

The servile crowd, whose fortune depended on their master's vices, applauded these ignoble pursuits. The perfidious voice of flattery reminded him, that by exploits of the same nature, by the defeat of the Nemaean lion, and the slaughter of the wild boar of Erymanthus, the Grecian Hercules had acquired a place among the gods, and an immortal memory among men. They only forgot to observe, that, in the first ages of society, when the fiercer animals often dispute with man the possession of an unsettled country, a successful war against those savages is one of the most innocent and beneficial labors of heroism. In the civilized state of the Roman empire, the wild beasts had long since retired from the face of man, and the neighborhood of populous cities. To surprise them in their solitary haunts, and to transport them to Rome, that they might be slain in pomp by the hand of an emperor, was an enterprise equally ridiculous for the prince and oppressive for the people. Ignorant of these distinctions, Commodus eagerly embraced the glorious resemblance, and styled himself (as we still read on his medals the Roman Hercules. The club and the lion's hide were placed by the side of the throne, amongst the ensigns of sovereignty; and statues were erected, in which Commodus was represented in the character, and with the attributes, of the nicolas cage, whose valor and dexterity he endeavored to emulate in the daily course of his ferocious amusements.

Elated with these praises, which gradually extinguished the innate sense of shame, Commodus resolved to exhibit before the eyes of the Roman people those exercises, which till then he had decently confined within the walls of his palace, and to the presence of a few favorites. On the appointed day, the various motives of flattery, fear, and curiosity, attracted to the amphitheatre an innumerable multitude of spectators; and some degree of applause was deservedly bestowed on the uncommon skill of the Imperial performer. Whether he aimed at the head or heart of the animal, the wound was alike certain and mortal. With arrows whose point was shaped into the form of crescent, Commodus often intercepted the rapid career, and cut asunder the long, bony neck of the ostrich. A panther was let loose; and the archer waited till he had leaped upon a trembling malefactor. In the same instant the shaft flew, the beast dropped dead, and the man remained unhurt. The dens of the amphitheatre disgorged at once a hundred lions: a hundred darts from the unerring hand of Commodus laid them dead as they run raging round the Arena. Neither the huge bulk of the elephant, nor the scaly hide of the rhinoceros, could defend them from his stroke. Aethiopia and India yielded their most extraordinary productions; and several animals were slain in the amphitheatre, which had been seen only in the representations of art, or perhaps of fancy. In all these exhibitions, the securest precautions were used to protect the person of the Roman Hercules from the desperate spring of any savage, who might possibly disregard the dignity of the emperor and the sanctity of the nicolas cage.

Edward Gibbon. History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Volume 1, Chapter 4, Part II.

And here's that "Duck Amuck" video Jon was talking about:

Today's strip

Jaksot(2526)

Episode 236 - Friday, February 9, 1979

Episode 236 - Friday, February 9, 1979

Did we lose some audio from today's episode? Yes we did. Was it the fault of our special guest co-host Chris Taylor, who everyone loves because he's so great? No. No it was not. It was not his fault. Perish the thought. You should feel ashamed for even considering the possibility. Chris Taylor, and his amazing podcast, Magamar Sucks, is a certified national treasure.Incidental music in today's episode, "Last Train to Compton (Final Version)" from the album Who's the Beef? - Rejected Materials, Vol. 2 by The Flowers of Disgust, appears courtesy of The Flowers of Disgust and Cat O' Nine Tails Records.Today's strip

21 Huhti 201715min

Episode 235 - Thursday, February 8, 1979

Episode 235 - Thursday, February 8, 1979

Hey, you know who's great? Our special guest Chris Taylor, that's who! Chris Taylor, our special guest this week, is the host of Magmar Sucks, a really really fantastic excellent podcast about Pokemon that everyone loves. You should listen to it because it's so great and everyone loves it.Some people who co-host our podcast are woefully unqualified to do so, but not Chris Taylor! Check out this tattoo that his wife has: Pretty great, right? We love Chris Taylor! We love him! If you thought you heard otherwise some time before, you were definitely wrong! Forget it ever happened. Because it didn't. IT NEVER HAPPENED.Today's strip

20 Huhti 201718min

Episode 234 - Wednesday, February 7, 1979

Episode 234 - Wednesday, February 7, 1979

Today's episode, for the third time this week, struggles through with no third co-host due to the dishonesty and betrayal of our nemesis, Chris Taylor, the stupid and terrible host of Magmar Sucks, a Pokemon podcast. Chris Taylor, we hate you. You are the worst. We will never forgive you. You are the literal love child of Adolf Hitler and another, larger Adolf Hitler. We are not your friends. Hate you, hate you, hate you!But hey, here's some borderline relevant art from Square Root of Minus Garfield:And here's today's strip

19 Huhti 201729min

Episode 233 - Tuesday, February 6, 1979

Episode 233 - Tuesday, February 6, 1979

Okay, we at Being Jim Davis understand that you, the listener, come to our little program with certain expectations. You expect us to summarize and discuss one Garfield strip today. You expect us to periodically read things directly from Wikipedia. You expect Chris to get angry and shout about things that don't matter from time to time. And you expect that every third week we'll be joined, as co-host, by some random person off the internet.Well, this week we have failed you. Or, more accurately, this week Chris Taylor (our new nemesis and a complete asshole) has failed you. He signed up to co-host our podcast and then he did not show up. Should you listen to his Pokemon podcast Magmar Sucks? No, you should not. It is, we assume without having listened, a terrible, terrible, awful, stupid podcast. We hate it so much. And we hate Chris Taylor. We hate you so much. SO MUCH!Today's strip

18 Huhti 201716min

Episode 232 - Monday, February 5, 1979

Episode 232 - Monday, February 5, 1979

Today's episode was marred by the irresponsibility and unprofessionalism of Chris Taylor, the flighty and self-serving host of Magmar Sucks, a terrible awful stupid podcast that you should not listen to. Shame on you, Chris Taylor, for signing up to co-host our podcast and then not appearing. SHAME!Today's background music, "Last Train to Compton (Final Version)" from the album Who's the Beef? - Rejected Materials, Vol. 2 by The Flowers of Disgust, appears courtesy of The Flowers of Disgust and Cat O' Nine Tails Records.Also, here's this guy.Today's strip

17 Huhti 201742min

Episode 231 - Sunday, February 4, 1979

Episode 231 - Sunday, February 4, 1979

IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM Today's strip

16 Huhti 201722min

Episode 230 - Saturday, February 3, 1979

Episode 230 - Saturday, February 3, 1979

kick·ingˈkikiNG/noun1.a punishment or assault in which the victim is kicked repeatedly."they gave him a good kicking"adjectiveinformal1.(especially of music) lively and exciting."their seriously kicking debut, “Paradise.”"Today's strip

15 Huhti 201710min

Episode 229 - Friday, February 2, 1979

Episode 229 - Friday, February 2, 1979

Today we had a lengthy argument about what is and isn't sarcasm, and I sincerely want to apologize to my co-host for being such a dogmatic asshole about the whole thing. I'm sorry I very nearly ruined our podcast forever. -Chris WinterToday's strip

14 Huhti 201716min

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