Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979
Being Jim Davis21 Touko 2017

Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979

The servile crowd, whose fortune depended on their master's vices, applauded these ignoble pursuits. The perfidious voice of flattery reminded him, that by exploits of the same nature, by the defeat of the Nemaean lion, and the slaughter of the wild boar of Erymanthus, the Grecian Hercules had acquired a place among the gods, and an immortal memory among men. They only forgot to observe, that, in the first ages of society, when the fiercer animals often dispute with man the possession of an unsettled country, a successful war against those savages is one of the most innocent and beneficial labors of heroism. In the civilized state of the Roman empire, the wild beasts had long since retired from the face of man, and the neighborhood of populous cities. To surprise them in their solitary haunts, and to transport them to Rome, that they might be slain in pomp by the hand of an emperor, was an enterprise equally ridiculous for the prince and oppressive for the people. Ignorant of these distinctions, Commodus eagerly embraced the glorious resemblance, and styled himself (as we still read on his medals the Roman Hercules. The club and the lion's hide were placed by the side of the throne, amongst the ensigns of sovereignty; and statues were erected, in which Commodus was represented in the character, and with the attributes, of the nicolas cage, whose valor and dexterity he endeavored to emulate in the daily course of his ferocious amusements.

Elated with these praises, which gradually extinguished the innate sense of shame, Commodus resolved to exhibit before the eyes of the Roman people those exercises, which till then he had decently confined within the walls of his palace, and to the presence of a few favorites. On the appointed day, the various motives of flattery, fear, and curiosity, attracted to the amphitheatre an innumerable multitude of spectators; and some degree of applause was deservedly bestowed on the uncommon skill of the Imperial performer. Whether he aimed at the head or heart of the animal, the wound was alike certain and mortal. With arrows whose point was shaped into the form of crescent, Commodus often intercepted the rapid career, and cut asunder the long, bony neck of the ostrich. A panther was let loose; and the archer waited till he had leaped upon a trembling malefactor. In the same instant the shaft flew, the beast dropped dead, and the man remained unhurt. The dens of the amphitheatre disgorged at once a hundred lions: a hundred darts from the unerring hand of Commodus laid them dead as they run raging round the Arena. Neither the huge bulk of the elephant, nor the scaly hide of the rhinoceros, could defend them from his stroke. Aethiopia and India yielded their most extraordinary productions; and several animals were slain in the amphitheatre, which had been seen only in the representations of art, or perhaps of fancy. In all these exhibitions, the securest precautions were used to protect the person of the Roman Hercules from the desperate spring of any savage, who might possibly disregard the dignity of the emperor and the sanctity of the nicolas cage.

Edward Gibbon. History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Volume 1, Chapter 4, Part II.

And here's that "Duck Amuck" video Jon was talking about:

Today's strip

Jaksot(2526)

Episode 204 - Monday, January 8, 1979

Episode 204 - Monday, January 8, 1979

Hey, you guys like sweater-related humor, right? Like, jokes about sweaters? You'd be into that? Well I sure as fuck hope so, because that's all you're going to get this week.Today's strip

20 Maalis 201716min

Episode 203 - Sunday, January 7, 1979

Episode 203 - Sunday, January 7, 1979

Garfield: Oh, what ho, Sir Arbuckle!Sir Jon Arbuckle: Kindly do not address me in that familiar way, Garfield. I happen to know that once again you've yielded to the awful temptation to steal a muffin! .....Garfield: Oh, rot![Garfield tries to steal the muffin from Sir Arbuckle's string]Sir Jon Arbuckle: What are you doing?Garfield: Er ... dinner!Sir Arbuckle: Dinner? This isn't the dining room.Garfield: Isn't it? Oh. Thought I could smell blueberries.Sir Jon Arbuckle: The dining room's over there. You can't miss it. There are people having dinner in it.[A lengthy pause]Sir Jon Arbuckle: What comic is this, Garfield?Garfield: Nothing special... usual sort of Sunday affair, bit of slapstick, suspicion of wordplay, that's all.Sir Jon Arbuckle: Perhaps you have hidden depths, Garfield, is that it?Garfield: I don't think so. No one's ever mentioned it, anyway.[Both stare at the reader expectedly for several beats. Blackout.]Today's strip

19 Maalis 201726min

Episode 202 - Saturday, January 6, 1979

Episode 202 - Saturday, January 6, 1979

For your consideration:https://www.pooky.com/Today's strip

18 Maalis 20177min

Episode 201 - Friday, January 5, 1979

Episode 201 - Friday, January 5, 1979

Today we brainstorm ideas for things we should have done yesterday in celebration of our 200th episode, which we basically totally forgot about. The discussion includes several minutes of us trying to decide which 20th-century avant-garde composer best represents our podcast. Insofar as we almost don't even mention today's Garfield strip, it's a pretty strong episode.At one point somebody references a temperature in 'degrees kelvin' and isn't corrected.Today's strip

17 Maalis 201718min

Episode 200 - Thursday, January 4, 1979

Episode 200 - Thursday, January 4, 1979

What's the deal with cats?? Bunch of assholes if you ask me. Oh by the way, here's today's podcast.Today's strip

16 Maalis 201718min

Episode 199 - Wednesday, January 3, 1979

Episode 199 - Wednesday, January 3, 1979

Let Mx = "x is a Garfield that likes milk."Let Bx = "x brushes its teeth."¬(∀x[Mx ∨ Bx])Today's strip

15 Maalis 201714min

Episode 198 - Tuesday, January 2, 1979

Episode 198 - Tuesday, January 2, 1979

Milk is a pale liquid produced by the mammary glands of mammals. It is the primary source of nutrition for infant mammals (including humans who breastfeed) before they are able to digest other types of food. Early-lactation milk contains colostrum, which carries the mother's antibodies to its young and can reduce the risk of many diseases. It contains many other nutrients[1] including protein and lactose.As an agricultural product, milk is extracted from non-human mammals during or soon after pregnancy. Dairy farms produced about 730 million tonnes of milk in 2011,[2] from 260 million dairy cows.[3] India is the world's largest producer of milk, and is the leading exporter of skimmed milk powder, yet it exports few other milk products.[4][5] The ever increasing rise in domestic demand for dairy products and a large demand-supply gap could lead to India being a net importer of dairy products in the future.[6] The United States, India, China and Brazil are the world's largest exporters of milk and milk products.[7] China and Russia were the world's largest importers of milk and milk products until 2016 when both countries became self-sufficient, contributing to a worldwide glut of milk.[8]Throughout the world, there are more than six billion consumers of milk and milk products. Over 750 million people live in dairy farming households.[9]Today's strip

14 Maalis 201718min

Episode 197 - Monday, January 1, 1979

Episode 197 - Monday, January 1, 1979

New year, new cast. At least, that's what this description would say if we had decided to make any adjustments to our formula whatsoever. And why would we want to do that? The podcast is TOTALLY FINE how it is. Everybody loves it and anyone who says otherwise is a goddamn liar.Today's strip

13 Maalis 201722min

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