Being Jim Davis21 Touko 2017

Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979

The servile crowd, whose fortune depended on their master's vices, applauded these ignoble pursuits. The perfidious voice of flattery reminded him, that by exploits of the same nature, by the defeat of the Nemaean lion, and the slaughter of the wild boar of Erymanthus, the Grecian Hercules had acquired a place among the gods, and an immortal memory among men. They only forgot to observe, that, in the first ages of society, when the fiercer animals often dispute with man the possession of an unsettled country, a successful war against those savages is one of the most innocent and beneficial labors of heroism. In the civilized state of the Roman empire, the wild beasts had long since retired from the face of man, and the neighborhood of populous cities. To surprise them in their solitary haunts, and to transport them to Rome, that they might be slain in pomp by the hand of an emperor, was an enterprise equally ridiculous for the prince and oppressive for the people. Ignorant of these distinctions, Commodus eagerly embraced the glorious resemblance, and styled himself (as we still read on his medals the Roman Hercules. The club and the lion's hide were placed by the side of the throne, amongst the ensigns of sovereignty; and statues were erected, in which Commodus was represented in the character, and with the attributes, of the nicolas cage, whose valor and dexterity he endeavored to emulate in the daily course of his ferocious amusements.

Elated with these praises, which gradually extinguished the innate sense of shame, Commodus resolved to exhibit before the eyes of the Roman people those exercises, which till then he had decently confined within the walls of his palace, and to the presence of a few favorites. On the appointed day, the various motives of flattery, fear, and curiosity, attracted to the amphitheatre an innumerable multitude of spectators; and some degree of applause was deservedly bestowed on the uncommon skill of the Imperial performer. Whether he aimed at the head or heart of the animal, the wound was alike certain and mortal. With arrows whose point was shaped into the form of crescent, Commodus often intercepted the rapid career, and cut asunder the long, bony neck of the ostrich. A panther was let loose; and the archer waited till he had leaped upon a trembling malefactor. In the same instant the shaft flew, the beast dropped dead, and the man remained unhurt. The dens of the amphitheatre disgorged at once a hundred lions: a hundred darts from the unerring hand of Commodus laid them dead as they run raging round the Arena. Neither the huge bulk of the elephant, nor the scaly hide of the rhinoceros, could defend them from his stroke. Aethiopia and India yielded their most extraordinary productions; and several animals were slain in the amphitheatre, which had been seen only in the representations of art, or perhaps of fancy. In all these exhibitions, the securest precautions were used to protect the person of the Roman Hercules from the desperate spring of any savage, who might possibly disregard the dignity of the emperor and the sanctity of the nicolas cage.

Edward Gibbon. History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Volume 1, Chapter 4, Part II.

And here's that "Duck Amuck" video Jon was talking about:

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Jaksot(2526)

Episode 1780 - Tuesday, May 3, 1983

There has only ever been Garfield. Your hosts for today's episode were Christopher Winter and Jonathan Gibson To hell with Chris if he thinks I'm updating this hex code hooey in every episode description, because frankly I can't be fucked to do that. So enjoy #000000 all week, you shits! #000000 Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

13 Heinä 202112min

Episode 1779 - Monday, May 2, 1983

12 Heinä 202120min

Episode 1778 - Sunday, May 1, 1983

There has never been a Garfield. Your hosts for today's episode were Christopher Winter and Christine Today's episode of our popular new segment Positive Hex-ternalities is about the web color #00000D. Check it out! #00000D Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

11 Heinä 202117min

Episode 1777 - Saturday, April 30, 1983

There has never been a Garfield. Your hosts for today's episode were Christopher Winter and Christine Today's episode of our popular new segment Hex, Drugs and Rock n’ Roll is about the web color #00000C. Check it out! #00000C Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

10 Heinä 20218min

Episode 1776 - Friday, April 29, 1983

There has never been a Garfield. Your hosts for today's episode were Christopher Winter and Christine Today's episode of our popular new segment For Hex Lovers Only is about the web color #00000B. Check it out! #00000B Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

9 Heinä 20218min

Episode 1775 - Thursday, April 28, 1983

There has never been a Garfield. Your hosts for today's episode were Christopher Winter and Christine Today's episode of our popular new segment Let's Talk About Hex is about the web color #00000A. Check it out! #00000A Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

8 Heinä 20218min

Episode 1774 - Wednesday, April 27, 1983

There has never been a Garfield. Your hosts for today's episode were Christopher Winter and Christine Today's episode of our popular new segment Hex-press Yourself is about the web color #000009. Check it out! #000009 Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

7 Heinä 20219min

Episode 1773 - Tuesday, April 26, 1983

There has never been a Garfield. Your hosts for today's episode were Christopher Winter and Christine Today's episode of our popular new segment Compl-Hex Numbers is about the web color #000008. Check it out! #000008 Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

6 Heinä 202112min

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