S02 E26 | Klich Koch The Bielsa Clock, Stick It In The Mixer & Be The Kepa

Dear Lorders and Lorderesses of Footballland,

We had another indulgent meeting this week – when we really should be cracking on with building the park – we just couldn't help ourselves. So yes, we've piled more pressure on ourselves by creating three more attractions that just have to be built.

Klich Koch The Bielsa Clock

This aspect of the park might not get used all that much because it's almost impossible to pronounce – even Ryan, the idiot that came up with the idea can't say it until about the fifth attempt. Anyway he sees it as a kind of VIP priority access that allows you get on more rides than you might ordinarily, the only downside being that you're going to be dressed as a sausage and Mateusz Klich and Robin Koch (dressed as hotdog buns) will be carrying you.

Stick It In The Mixer

Mark brings us one of the more realistic rides we've ever conceived, there's no cloning, no miracle drugs, nor any as yet to be invented ... science. It's just a modified carnival ride, with a couple of ex-professional players lowered into it (dressed as babies) to fire footballs at you, just don't concede.

Be The Kepa

Anthony brings us........ No, it's not a giant fibre glass footballer for once, but there is a gift shop (somehow). It's the Kepa Arrizabalaga experience!!! Specifically his cup competition antics ... experience. Watch pretty much nothing for 119 minutes and then come on a fail to save any penalties, sounds boring but it's not, honestly!!!!!!!

Join us next week where we promise to get building (not). Don't forget to send us your ride ideas, we'll discuss each and every one.

With professional consensual love,

Anthony Richardson (CEO)

Mark Davison (Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer)

Ryan Baxter (Intern)

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