#231: How to Relationship Better with John Kim & Vanessa Bennett

Themes: Attachment Theory, Conflict, Relationships, Intimacy, Parenthood Summary: Today I’m joined by John Kim and Vanessa Bennett for a wonderful conversation discussing the core themes from their new book, “It’s Not Me, It’s You,” including how to navigate differences in your relationship. John Kim (aka The Angry Therapist) and Vanessa Bennett are not only licensed therapists and relationship coaches but master plate spinners. Writing books, hosting podcasts, creating mental health content, and raising their toddler are just a few of those spinning plates. Before their worlds collided, they each experienced the painful expiration of long term relationships which thrust them into their inner journeys, personal therapy, therapy school, and helping thousands of people relationship better. As a couple, they are committed to being transparent about their baggage, bullsh*t, and the slippery knots of their own imperfect relationship to help illuminate the surprising issues that hinder all of us from finding, enjoying, and sustaining love. Discover: How to navigate different love languages Framing your differences as opportunities Tips for navigating conflict with your partner The difference between doing life with someone vs. doing life at or around them 00:00 Intro 04:00 Therapists are human too 07:20 Writing a book with your partner 10:03 Different love languages 16:55 The anxious/avoidant dance 19:07 Differences in relationship 23:33 It’s in the small moments 28:20 Handling conflict 35:11 Past relationships vs. now 39:00 Softness & vulnerability in relationship 41:00 Greatest challenges in couples 47:22 Being transactional 53:47 Clean anger is necessary Links: Instagram: @vanessasbennett + @theangrytherapist TikTok: @thecodayoga + @theangrytherapist Pre-order Vanessa and John's new book, It’s Not Me It’s You, here. Sponsors: Cured Nutrition | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% all products at curednutrition.com/createthelove Organifi | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% off all products at organifi.com/createthelove Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands