S10 Ep. 3: BDSM Kinks, What to Do if You 'Miss' an Orgasm, and Why Can't I Move On from My Husband's Mid-Life Crisis?

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I love watching BDSM porn and have a masochistic kink. My wife enjoys sex, but is pretty conservative in what she likes. I’ve told her I’d quite enjoy being tied up or spanked and she looked shocked, so I didn’t pursue it. How do I let her know I’d really like her to indulge me a little during sex without her thinking I’m perverted?

2) My husband and I have been together since college, married 37 years—and I absolutely adore him. A few years ago, he went through what appeared to be a mid-life crisis. He spent a lot of time in bars chatting up the cute, young bartenders and waitresses and looking them up online. He also went to strip clubs and lied to me about what he was doing. I was crushed, but we went to couples therapy and things are so much better. The problem is me. How do I trust again, move on, and stop obsessing? He says he was drinking too much, hanging out with the wrong people, and is very ashamed, embarrassed, and sorry. But when I ask him more probing questions about it, he completely shuts down. He will go to his grave with what happened, and I worry it was bad. But does it even matter? We are in such a good place now and we have a wonderful life. I need to forgive, forget, and move on, but I can’t. I've seen a therapist on my own and feel it isn't really helping.

3) Sometimes, when I’m having sex, I’m really up for it and aroused, but then lose arousal just before an orgasm can happen. I miss the moment. It’s frustrating. Why does this happen, and how can I stop it happening?

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

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