Carina Maggar on Coming Out

Authenticity is often praised, and inauthenticity is criticised. We want people to be themselves. But what happens if the society we’re in isn’t supportive or even hostile toward who we really are? Or we don’t yet know. That’s the challenge facing many LGBTQ+ people in relation to coming out.

It’s the subject of a brand new book called ‘Countless Sleepless Nights’ which tells the real-life stories of people who, because of their sexuality, have had to or are dealing with the challenges of whether, how and when to come out. Not just people who live in societies where they have rights but also those living in regimes where being honest about your sexuality risks being imprisoned or killed.

The book’s author is Carina Maggar, and she’s my guest on this episode. Carina is a creative copywriter who has been on the show before talking about her first book ‘How To Make Work Not Suck’. The book came about because Carina is herself gay and had her own coming out experience.

I’m fascinated by this subject on a number of levels. As a straight man, I’ve never had to contend with the challenge of coming out and what that means. Yet it’s a very common experience, and I think it’s helpful to have an appreciation of what others are going through. I hope this episode can make those of us who have no experience of coming out to be more empathetic towards those who are or might go through it.

Then there’s a human risk angle. If we want to get the best out of everyone — either societally or in a work context — then we need to be inclusive and not have people having to pretend they’re something they’re not. Spending your entire life being unable to be honest is debilitating, and it doesn’t bring the best out of anyone. Finally, and most importantly, it’s about shining a light on the fact that some people can’t be who they really are, and their lives are in danger as a result. That’s not right, and we need to talk about it.

Resources
To learn more about Carina and her first book ‘How To Make Work Not Suck’ go to her website: https://www.carinamaggar.com/

To order ‘Countless Sleepless Nights’: https://www.laurenceking.com/products/countless-sleepless-nights

To hear Carina’s previous appearance on the show: https://www.humanriskpodcast.com/carina-maggar-on-how-to-make-work-not-suck/