Don't Mom Alone Podcast8 Loka 2018

Calming Angry Kids Tricia Goyer Ep 220

Tricia Goyer is an author, speaker and homeschooling mom of ten. She also knows what it’s like to parent children with chronic anger. If you’ve ever felt alone in how to calm your “angry kid(s),” Tricia has a lot of wisdom to share from parenting both biological and adopted children.

In true Don’t Mom Alone fashion, Tricia and I answer several listener questions about how to respond in love and help kids of all ages process their anger and emotions. We talk about how much harder it is for the current generation of moms who have to factor in busier schedules, social media and more as a part of their children’s environments

My oldest is 29 and my youngest is 8. It is so much harder now. I feel like I’m on the second generation of kids. Now there is social media. There is more television. There are more video games. The access that they have to all these things brings so much anxiety and tension. Not only do they have to go to school, but then they would come home and see on social media that people were talking about them. It’s just so much more involved now even than it was when I had my first generation of kids.

But it’s not impossible! Tricia shares so many great practical tips and suggestions for how to help our kids (and ourselves) work through anger in a healthy way. But beyond all the tips, it all comes down to leaning into God and praying for the Holy Spirit to fill them that will make the biggest difference.

It’s really the Holy Spirit in them and the fruit of the Spirit is God in them that’s going to change them. I could try all these activities. You know, we could do calming bags or coping skills. I mean we do all the things too. But really it is God in them. And the more they lean on God and the more they depend on him that they’ll truly change.

What we chat about:

Tricia’s family, career and unique calling as an adoptive parent
Her new book, Calming Angry Kids
Determining if your child is struggling with how to process anger in a healthy way
Giving our kids time, attention and praise is a powerful antidote to anger
Everyone gets mad, what we do with the anger makes the difference
When they are in the middle of the emotions, it’s not the time to discipline them
Kids learn to apologize when we model it for them
Anger is often a secondary emotion from a deeper wounding like shame or feeling unloved or anxiety
Family schedules are busier than ever before and it heightens anxiety in kids and parents
Take time to process emotions with your kids and say “No” to more activities or events if they need a break
Tricia shares both how we can process our own anger and how to help our angry kids
The idea of an anger log to help track anger over time
Calming bags and items you can include in them
Give your kids time and space to calm down
Specific tips for pre-teens and teens and helping them with anger and hormones

Links Mentioned:

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Overcoming Insecurities in Friendships :: Renee Swope [Ep 148]

Friendships can be tricky. Then throw in our own weaknesses and insecurities. . .oi vey! Today’s guest, Renee Swope, openly wrote about her self-doubt struggles in the book, “A Confident Heart”**. After 20 years serving with the Proverbs 31 ministry, Renee knows a thing or to about the joys and complexities of female relationships. In this episode she shares the value found in embracing her “lack” and inviting others into her life. Renee answers questions like, “How do you find ‘good’ friends willing to accept your mess?” And “Where are the older women offering help and wisdom?” And “In our modern era how does self-sufficiency hinder community?” If you are looking for more on community, Renee wrote about one of 30 friendship topics covered in the new book, “Craving Connection”**. So many of women I love are sharing their friendship stories, offering camaraderie and hope. Co-authors include: Lisa-Jo Baker (Ep 21), Crystal Stine (Ep 10), Stacey Thacker (Ep 76), Eryn Hall, Erin Mohring, Kristen Strong (Ep 97), Amanda White (Ep 3, 17, 27, 36, 79), and Jennifer Dukes Lee (Ep 18). What we chat about: How the international adoption of her daughter shaped her older sons. Renee’s journey into speaking/writing with Proverbs 31 ministry the past 21 years. How to know when to put something aside or move forward confidently. Renee’s internal battle of self-doubt and insecurity. The question we ask ourselves when someone asks, “How are you?”. Ways to get passed insecurity in our friendships. How processing feelings with others help hard situations lose their weight. Finding real good friends by being the friend they need. A challenge to older moms to make the invitation to younger moms. How self-sufficiency can hinder community. Links Mentioned: Proverbs 31 Ministry “A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises” ** Craving Connection : 30 Challenges for Real-Life Engagement** Sally Clarkson’s Momheart ministry and conference

17 Tammi 201753min