Don't Mom Alone Podcast5 Maalis 2018

The Right to Change My Mind Bruce Heather Ep 196

Life is full of decisions. We do our best to choose wisely and follow God’s lead. Sometimes God leads us in a different direction. It doesn’t always make “sense” in the moment. And it definitely isn’t easy to share those changes with others.

It’s been over a year since we’ve given you a glimpse behind the scenes. In that time A LOT has happened in our world: new job, school shifts, adopting & “re-homing” a puppy. So I’m bringing my hubby Bruce back on the show to share one concept he’s used at work for years and he has helped me process the last year of change.

In this episode Bruce and I let you in on the thought process behind our life choices. Hoping this conversation will allow you grace to change your mind without the fear of what others think.

I reserve the right to change my mind and not have to explain it to you, but every person who hears about it wants to know the whole story. What I’ve found is people want to know the should. Every time I talk to a mom, they are feeling this pressure to get it all right, so then when they hear a story that doesn’t work out or where you changed your mind they are trying to analyze the rightness of it.

What we chat about:

What’s happened in the MacFadyen family in the past year
Bruce’s current business, Door Real Estate Brokerage
The mantra, “I always reserve the right to change my mind”
Making the decision to send one of our sons back to school after a semester of homeschooling
What happened with our dog
Giving yourself freedom to change your mind
Being gracious to others who change their minds
Why we need to give our kids and ourselves permission to make mistakes
Working to create an environment at home where it’s okay to change your mind and make mistakes
In all of the decisions in life it’s about balance and listening to God’s voice

Links Mentioned:

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Loving Your Different Child :: Sally and Nathan Clarkson [Ep 149]

“God didn’t give me a child so I could tell Him exactly my expectations of how that child should be. You have to say ‘God show me how to love the child you gave me and how to release him within his limitations and personalities into their world as a healthy human being.'” -Sally Clarkson. You’ve heard Sally come on the podcast and share how to own your life (Ep 54) and how to create a life-giving home (Ep 107). Today she’s back on the show with her adult son, Nathan Clarkson. This time we’re talking about learning to love our kids’ outside-the-box differences. Trusting mom intuition and believing God uniquely designed each of our kids for a purpose. Sally and Nathan share stories from his childhood. And offer helpful tips for casting vision over your children. I found Sally’s thoughts on holding ideals but letting go of expectations very helpful. “Give up expectations. But lead family to ideals. Don’t give up on ideals. They are shaping the core of your children’s values.” Thankfully Sally and Nathan have written a much-needed resource on this topic, “Different: The Story of an Outside-the-Box Kid and the Mom Who Loved Him.” ** What we chat about: When you start to notice your child is different (Sally) When the child begins to notice he/she may be different (Nathan) When you want to sympathize & parent inner needs but told to discipline external behavior. Creating a space allowing your child to be themselves and belong. How Jesus treated people differently with the same love. How to cast vision over your children. How to turn differences into superpowers. Creating rhythms in your home. Holding ideals while letting go of expectations. How differences impact family dynamics. Orchestrating breaks for moms of children with differences. Things that helped Nathan as a teenager who knew he was different. Links Mentioned: “Different: The Story of an Outside-the-Box Kid and the Mom Who Loved Him.” ** The Lifegiving Home ** “Did you not know that it is the kindness and mercy of God that leads to repentance.” Romans 2:4 **Amazon Affiliate Link

23 Tammi 201755min

Overcoming Insecurities in Friendships :: Renee Swope [Ep 148]

Friendships can be tricky. Then throw in our own weaknesses and insecurities. . .oi vey! Today’s guest, Renee Swope, openly wrote about her self-doubt struggles in the book, “A Confident Heart”**. After 20 years serving with the Proverbs 31 ministry, Renee knows a thing or to about the joys and complexities of female relationships. In this episode she shares the value found in embracing her “lack” and inviting others into her life. Renee answers questions like, “How do you find ‘good’ friends willing to accept your mess?” And “Where are the older women offering help and wisdom?” And “In our modern era how does self-sufficiency hinder community?” If you are looking for more on community, Renee wrote about one of 30 friendship topics covered in the new book, “Craving Connection”**. So many of women I love are sharing their friendship stories, offering camaraderie and hope. Co-authors include: Lisa-Jo Baker (Ep 21), Crystal Stine (Ep 10), Stacey Thacker (Ep 76), Eryn Hall, Erin Mohring, Kristen Strong (Ep 97), Amanda White (Ep 3, 17, 27, 36, 79), and Jennifer Dukes Lee (Ep 18). What we chat about: How the international adoption of her daughter shaped her older sons. Renee’s journey into speaking/writing with Proverbs 31 ministry the past 21 years. How to know when to put something aside or move forward confidently. Renee’s internal battle of self-doubt and insecurity. The question we ask ourselves when someone asks, “How are you?”. Ways to get passed insecurity in our friendships. How processing feelings with others help hard situations lose their weight. Finding real good friends by being the friend they need. A challenge to older moms to make the invitation to younger moms. How self-sufficiency can hinder community. Links Mentioned: Proverbs 31 Ministry “A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises” ** Craving Connection : 30 Challenges for Real-Life Engagement** Sally Clarkson’s Momheart ministry and conference

17 Tammi 201753min