Make Your Damn Bed10 Helmi 2021

Day 10 || Negative Experiences

(REMASTERED in August 2023) HARD UNIVERSAL TRUTH: Just because it ain’t your fault, doesn’t mean it’s not your responsibility to deal with it.

I think taking responsibility for your trauma gets lost in translation a bit. We often say, “everything happens for a reason” or “there’s a lesson in everything”; and while those may be helpful reframes for a select few, most people won’t benefit from those generalities, especially at a time of need.

So yes, dealing with your trauma is your responsibility,

in the immediate sense: when you have a negative experience (even if it’s in no way, shape, or form your fault) you have no choice but to respond to that experience. It’s unfair, unjust, and unfortunately - it’s a part of life that feels avoidable yet rarely is.
The future sense: if it affects your behaviors in a way that may be harmful to yourself or others. Yet this should be done with an appropriately matched, qualified mental health professional.

So, when I do say there’s a lesson in everything, I just know that it helps me feel better about my own bullshit. But if that’s not the case for you? Don’t sweat it. Trauma isn’t the only way to build character and it’s not some badge of honor - but it’s also not something to be ashamed about.

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