911 || the responsibility of trauma

UNIVERSAL TRUTH: Just because it ain’t your fault, doesn’t mean it’s not your responsibility to deal with it.

I think taking responsibility for your trauma gets lost in translation a bit. We often say, “everything happens for a reason” or “there’s a lesson in everything”; and while those may be helpful reframes for a select few, most people won’t benefit from those generalities, especially at a time of need.

So yes, dealing with your trauma is your responsibility,

1. in the immediate sense: when you have a negative experience (even if it’s in no way, shape, or form your fault) you have no choice but to respond to that experience. It’s unfair, unjust, and unfortunately - it’s a part of life that feels avoidable yet rarely is.
2. The future sense: if it affects your behaviors in a way that may be harmful to yourself or others. Yet this should be done with an appropriately matched, qualified mental health professional.

Of course, I never want to imply that all of the bad things that happen to us are “meant to teach us” or that we can avoid all of life’s bullshit if we “reflect or learn or try” enough - I just personally find it takes the sting out of life’s little miseries when you say “it’s all part of the plot” or “It’s character building” and then you don’t have to cry about it more than the healthy amount of crying, so you can move on to the next lil adventure.

You’re not your trauma, but you are the badass that overcame it. You aren’t your mistakes, but you are the person who made it here, now. And though you deserve the peace that IS around + the lessons that come from that, I don’t doubt that you’ll kick all the ass that needs kickin’ in the between time.

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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