Just Show Up: The Best Thing You Can Do To Support Survivors

If there’s one lesson we take from the natural world about trauma and resiliency, let it be from the trees and the sea otters.

Humans used to think that trees competed with one another for light and resources to survive. But below our feet, they’re actually communicating with each other through a network that shares information about drought and disease. And the sea otters? They hold hands so they don’t drift apart — even while they’re asleep.

Of course, humans are a bit more complicated. We can’t always show up for each other, especially if we haven’t processed our own traumas. But for those of us who have experienced trauma in the past, we know that the best thing someone can do for us in a time of need is to just show up.

In this episode of TraumaTies, Lindsey and NVRCD Executive Director Bridgette Stumpf give some advice on how to do that for the survivors in your life, from friends to work colleagues.

Meet the Hosts

Name: Bridgette Stumpf

Connect: LinkedIn

Name: Lindsey Silverberg

Connect: LinkedIn

Episode Highlights

[00:50] Reflections: We’ve made it to the end of our first season of TraumaTies! Bridgette and Lindsey reflect on what the process has been like, their favorite moments from past episodes, and their hopes for the future of the podcast.

[06:43] Trauma is a human experience: Throughout the podcast, Bridgette and Lindsey have talked at length about the different places trauma can show up in our lives.

[11:08] Sympathy vs empathy: How can we show up for each other in difficult moments without re-traumatizing or causing more harm? Lindsey and Bridgette share some wisdom from Brené Brown.

[14:55] An understanding environment: Creating a trauma-informed workplace allows employees “to show up in their full selves,” says Bridgette.

[22:39] Reshaping expectations: How can we better make space for survivors who might not express or process their trauma in ways we expect?

[27:04] Show up for yourself: You can’t always make space for someone else if you haven’t done so for yourself.

[31:47] Trauma builds resiliency: Lindsey discusses resiliency built through traumatic experiences, and the lessons from Kerry Kletter’s East Coast Girls about “the depth of intimacy it fosters with other people.”

[35:07] Narrowing the distance: Next season, we’ll focus on narrowing the distance between society’s understanding of trauma and the reality of trauma as a human experience.

[37:04] Celebrating unsung heroes: They’re the strangers comforting us in a time of need, the veterinarians taking care of our pets, the people uplifting survivor voices.

[40:37] Keep in touch: If you have any questions, ideas or suggestions for the podcast — or just want to reach out and say hi — don’t be afraid to reach out. Send us an email at podcast@nvrdc.org or tag us @NVRDC with the hashtag #TraumaTies on Twitter and LinkedIn.

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Brought to you by Network for Victim Recovery of DC (NVRDC), TraumaTies: Untangling Societal Harm & Healing After Crime is a podcast that creates space and conversations to dissect the structural and systemic knots that keep us from addressing trauma.

Rooted in a belief that survivors of crime deserve respect for their dignity in the aftermath of victimization, NVRDC seeks to empower survivors by informing them of all of the options available and working to transform existing response systems to be more inclusive of the diverse needs that survivors often have after crime.

NVRDC also provides free, holistic, and comprehensive advocacy, case management, and legal services to victims of all crime types in Washington, DC. Visit our website to learn more about how to access our trauma-informed education training and how to partner with us to expand survivor-defined justice.