59: Mental Health without the BS - Petra Velzeboer - Psychotherapist and Executive Coach
Growth Mindset Psychology: The Science of Self-Improvement30 Kesä 2019

59: Mental Health without the BS - Petra Velzeboer - Psychotherapist and Executive Coach

Petra Velzeboer is a mental health consultant, executive coach and podcaster. She has a radical 'no BS' approach to mental health and isn't afraid to come out with some hard hitting facts of life. She has a challenging personal story from being raised in a cult which she broke out of to then fall into alcohol abuse and motherhood. Her tale of turning herself around to get her qualifications and become a shining beacon of inspiration and advice to others is amazing. She is a true advocate of the Growth Mindset and an absolute legend. On the show we go through her dark history and the amazing challenges she overcame. But it is not a perfect wonder story and we both reflect on our own current challenges instead of pretending we have arrived at this Nirvana of knowing everything and being happy which too many people pretend. This is a hard hitting episode with lots of insights and tips for really being true to yourself, taking accountability and becoming the person you should be. PetraConnect on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/petra-velzeboer/)Adversity to Advantage Podcast (http://petravelzeboer.com/podcast)Website (http://petravelzeboer.com/)Twitter (https://twitter.com/PetraVelzeboer)ABOUT THE HOSTMy name is Sam Harris. I am a British entrepreneur, investor and explorer. From hitchhiking across Kazakstan to programming AI doctors I am always pushing myself in the spirit of curiosity and Growth. My background is in Biology and Psychology with a passion for improving the world and human behaviour. I have built and sold companies from an early age and love coming up with unique ways to make life more enjoyable and meaningful.Sam:Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/samjamsnaps/)Quora (https://www.quora.com/profile/Sam-Harris-58)Twitter (https://twitter.com/samharristweets)LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharris48/)Sam's blog - SamWebsterHarris.com (https://samwebsterharris.com/)Support the Show - Patreon (https://www.patreon.com/growthmindset)TOP TIPSTHE BEST REVENGE IS LIVING A GOOD LIFERevenge isn’t about punishing others or comparing yourself. It is simply about finding happiness and success for yourself regardless.The worst thing you can do is punish yourself as an act of defiance and to hopefully make someone else’s life worse. Look at the bigger picture and don’t caught up in the moment and just seek to improve yourself.YOU CAN TURN ANYTHING AROUNDWith everything in life going against her Petra was able to completely turn her life around by following her interests. She got through one of the worst periods in her life by making one commitment and sticking with it and then adding more things and it turned into the blossoming career she has today.Even your darkest moments can be the inspiration to create a life you loveUSE SPEAKING AGENTSWant to grow your personal brand and do more public speaking. Don’t just do things in halves. List with as many as possible and get yourself out there! They all have different contacts and the more you are with the more bookings you’ll get. BonusGo and meet every agent you might sign with first. Put a face to the name and help them get to know your brand.NOTES1:30 - MENTAL HEALTH CONSULTANT WHAT IS THAT?coaching CEO’s and VPs so it can be coaching but also relationships.Mainly go into companies to help their strategy on a mental health perspective2:40 - Are there any common themes between businessWork with many different business, always humans so fundamentally it is all quite similar3:35 - what are the common mental health problems in startups?Systems and structure that is needed as you scale up often fails. Managers need more empowerment to talk openly and honestly about mental health5:30 - Bigger companies have more issuesOld school companies have more issues due to things being in place for a long time. But as new companies are innovating on best practices older companies are starting to catch up.7:10 - How did you get into this positionWell my success came from 12 years of working super hard in the area.But I started from a weird place of being raised in a religious cult and then suffering from alcohol addiction and abuse. After nearly dying I developed a bit more of a nothing matter attitude so I’m very quick to jump right to the heart of the problem and don’t BS around the topic. I’m happy to confront a CEO with their biggest problem and tell them they’re doing things wrong.I am just facinated in the area and it kind of happened with me following my curiousity and one thing leading to another.9:00 - Have you always been fascinated in mental health problems or did it spark from solving your own problems first?Ironically I was in some of the darkest moments of my own life whilst studying to be a psychotherapist. There was definitely a deep drive to fix my own problems and survive and became addicted to learning.10:00 - So how did you learn the profession exactly?Initially I did a one day a week class whilst I was still an alcoholic and I managed to just about keep it up despite feeling awful the entire day.I then took on a masters degree at night whilst I was working full time and raising my kids. So anyone who puts something off because they don’t have time is lying to themselves.I was really lucky to even get on the course, when I started I didn’t have a plan for how to pay for it but I just took the leap and worked it out as I went along11:20 - How did you deal with addiction and getting out of it?I went to Alcoholics anonymous which definitely saved me and it was essential for the first two years. But it is also really cult-like and I am hyper sensitive to cults after being raised in one so I was happy to leave once I was strong enough. I don’t want to give up my power and control in the long term. In the short term it was great to have people around to talk to and release my problems. It was great to admit I just really needed a drink right now, but once it was out there it suddenly felt easier to deal with.After I was stronger I found AA limiting being around others who were complaining about their problems and needing to drink etc… and was actually unhealthy for me. So I tried to build a network of people that lift me up.13:45 - Sounds like a very mindful process to realise the moments when you need a drink and interveneYes I really needed that ability to call someone when I had an urge. I also really relied on a 3 minute meditation after every urge to stop and think mindfully about why I shouldn’t do it. I must have listened a million times. Any time I had a slight level of cortisol increase I would need it.15:05 - So what does being raised in a cult mean?it sounds black and white but it was all shades of grey. Lots of hippie communes and travelling to events and classes. It has a lot of similarities to organisations as they grow, it takes one toxic person to suddenly change the entire atmosphere.There is a weird brainwashing feedback loop where If you agree with the group you get rewarded and promoted and more privileges. If you try to change the trend at all you are ostracised and told your a bad person. Because you have no money and rely on the group and have nowhere to go you. This reinforces the idea that they are right and if you leave god will punish you.For all my generation in the cult we had major trauma around being unable to build a life outside the cult or knowing what to do18:00 - Did you keep in touch with other members then?It took a few years to be completely isolated from that way of thinking to build my opinions. I really needed a growth mindset to become a different person first to then talk with them all about the experience and how bad it was without feeling like I still needed it. Take responsibility for myself first19:00 - Taking responsibility is always a good step to get out of the victim mindsetI’ve really started to focus on this and so many people that go through worse stuff and find. There is never a good reason to feel like a victim when you can take ownership. This is the point of my podcast20:10 - Breaking through adversity is a really good topic. How did you first select the theme and start the podcast?I guess I was listening to a lot of podcasts and always wanted to be a radio host when I was young. I thought about what I really needed to hear when I was in my problems but also can I satisfy my curiosity and learn at the same time. So even if no-one listens I will still enjoy it.Then the first few episodes really helped me. Since then I’ve good periods and bad periods and learn what works.23:30 - So what were your biggest lessonsI guess it sometimes felt like just work and occasionally even I would be bored. So now I have a priming conversation to get connected and work out their direction and theme we can focus on for the podcast.24:00 - What’s your favourite question to ask people?I like knowing what challenges they are facing now and their general practices. people saying it used to be bad and now it’s perfect is just wrong.25:45 - So what are your big challenges currently?I’m taking on a lot of public speaking which is quite scary and difficult but it’s really helping me grow and it’s a challenge I like to have.I also have two teenagers which I share with my ex-husband half the week. coming to terms with his new wife is not easy.I’m defining my no BS approach to mental health and building a course for it which is also a challenge I’m taking on.27:30 - How about writing a bookI spoke to a publisher and really want to do this also. So I will definitely try and do this.27:50 - How did you start a public speaking careerI hustled a lot. I worked helping kids where I wasn’t needed but I kept on showing up. I took every opportunity to speak at meet ups and and consistently showing up. I made tonnes of mistakes and had things go wrong but I just keep going and it gets better. The world doesn’t end when i mess up on stage and I just carry on. Then I’m really good at finding mentors. If you find people who have done it and ask for help then you can really open up a lot of opportunities. Do what they tell you to do and then they’ll help you more.30:30 - So did you stick with just one agencyDefinitely register on as many as possible. They all have different connections and have different things that work better or worse for your type of content.And go to the agency and show up and show them why your type of content is important and how it can be funny. When they know your personality they know how to sell you.31:00 - Most important tipOne rejection does not mean you are not on the right path, it just means you might not be right for that person or it happens to be the wrong time of the day etc.. Keep on trying and showing up!So many people give up, if you believe just do it anyway31:30 - What do you see in the future of mental health?There will be a framework that companies need to align with to prove they are doing all the right things to ensure good mental health.Companies will be competitive to provide the best mental health.Young people want to work for companies of purpose and have great satisfaction and wellbeing in what they do33:30 - what do you do now for you mental healthI’m trying the 5am club. the victory hour when you start20 mins exercise20 mins goal setting20 mins learningit basically means you are brainwashing yourself to be awesome and gives you and hour away from tech.then again in the evening writing your reflections:3 things I’m grateful for3 things to do that will make today a success3 things i want to be today35:40 - Whats the best advice you’ve been given“The best revenge is living a good life.”Instead of focussing on messing up your life or other peoples this flips it into a positive action to just go and be awesome.Then it also links to my other favourite quote.“It’s all your fault”Everything that happens is down to you. You have control to fix it or not. accept responsibility and then you can change it. Anything that happens now that goes wrong I can take on. People who always blame everything around them are going nowhere.36:45 - What is the kindest thing someone did for you?Ex husband really helped me get through my worst problems at the time. He also presented many other problems but his consistent help was the most incredible thing when I needed it. 37:40 - Most vivid memory from childhoodOne of my family members getting consistently punished in front of everyone and not having a voice to be able to do anything about it. This really forced me to never not have a voice instead, I have always felt like a coward since for not doing something or saying ‘punish me instead’. This has propelled me into having a voice and empowering others to have a voice.38:40 - let’s flip questioning. What scares Sam the most?Getting too comfortable with something that is quite successful and 90% there and seeking a new challenge when you haven’t really made the most of mastering the thing you are doing. You can get panicked by getting by being about to have a clear success which you need to commit to and jump to something else.Existential life worry around women. Any day it isn’t really a problem that affects me and I”m pretty happy doing my thing. But if I just plod through life and get to 90 without every having a wife to share my life with that seems like one of the most important sources of joy I am completely missing out on.41:00 - Time to apply the overnight success philosophy to dating. take the rejections and put in the time.you get better at it. now I’m really good at the first three months but after that I hit issues. But you get better at communicating your problems early and having honest conversationstrue. but yes as a guy it does take a lot of work to just get two dates on tinder. I guess more in person things and get used to loads of rejections and try and get 5 girls numbers a day and be used to talking to new woman all the time and make statistics work in your favour.41:45 - So what’s the writing Sam is doing and your big goalsToo many things. Psychology and mindsets, business advice, life advice, meta lessons you can learn from stupid things like 50 shades of grey. And then meditation, there’s a whole book to be written on the crazy journey that happens in your brain during a 10 day Vipassana retreat that’s never really been told. It’s weird but Vipassana was actually really funny and the whole thing felt like a comedy show of your life and how hilariously stupid you are, it could be told in a really nice way.I love improving at things and working on my craft. I really hope to be able to reach people and improve their lives as well with my learnings.44:45 - yea ten days of silent retreat sounds horrible I hate the idea of it. perhaps one day I’ll be brave enough.It will be worth it!Subscribe!If you enjoyed the podcast please subscribe and rate it. And of course, share with your friends! Special Guest: Petra Velzeboer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jaksot(486)

How to Be Less Wrong: The psychology of self-deception and silly things we believe

How to Be Less Wrong: The psychology of self-deception and silly things we believe

Cognitive bias. False memory. The Dunning-Kruger effect. What do they all have in common? They show how unreliable our minds can be. In this episode, we explore the science and philosophy of self-knowledge. From flawed reasoning and failed planning to empathy gaps and epistemic humility. But explained using normal English... Along the way, we uncover powerful tools to help you become more reliable, more curious, and a little less wrong. How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT⁠⁠ Apple - ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649⁠⁠ YouTube - ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast⁠⁠ Can't find it on your player? This is the RSS feed - ⁠⁠https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8⁠⁠ UPGRADE to ⁠⁠⁠Premium⁠⁠⁠: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord ⁠⁠⁠GrowthMindset.Supercast.com⁠⁠⁠ Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - ⁠⁠⁠Schedule Link⁠⁠⁠ - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - ⁠⁠⁠YouTube (Growth Mindset)⁠⁠⁠ 🛜 Website - ⁠⁠⁠Growth Mindset⁠⁠⁠ Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: How to Be Less Wrong: The psychology of self-deception and silly things we believe Chapters: 00:00 Introduction: The Illusion of Understanding 01:34 The Unreliable Nature of Our Minds 06:04 The Dunning-Kruger Effect and Cognitive Bias 08:00 The Limits of Empathy and Understanding Others 10:40 The Flaws in Our Reasoning and Decision Making 12:39 No awareness or feedback 14:24 Our tendency to fail 16:45 Building Reliability and Resilience18:44 Nonreacting - Chinese farmer parable 21:20 Conclusion: Embracing Our Ignorance for Growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

6 Touko 27min

Emotional Intelligence: Why the FBI Trains for Empathy, and You Should Too w/ Steven Stein

Emotional Intelligence: Why the FBI Trains for Empathy, and You Should Too w/ Steven Stein

People avoid you for reasons that have nothing to do with your deodorant. You can be smart, talented, even funny—but if people feel unseen or misunderstood around you, your life gets smaller. Dr. Steven Stein has tested emotional intelligence in everyone from Air Force recruiters to reality TV contestants. And the results are weirdly human. EQ isn’t about being soft. It’s about knowing when to shut up, when to speak up, and when to walk away. This episode breaks down emotional intelligence like it’s a muscle group: you’ve got to work it, stress it, and recover from it. Steven explains the science, shares unexpected stories (like lighthouse keepers and narcissists), and makes EQ feel practical We explore: 🔹 Spot the everyday signs you're low on EQ (and how to fix them) 🔹 Build empathy without becoming a pushover 🔹 Train your emotional intelligence like going to the gym 🔹 The biggest traits of success in the FBI, air force, army and navy 🔹 The psychology of reality TV Come away with the practical side of emotional intelligence in real life - not just in theory How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT⁠⁠ Apple - ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649⁠⁠ YouTube - ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast⁠⁠ Can't find it on your player? This is the RSS feed - ⁠⁠https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8⁠⁠ UPGRADE to ⁠⁠Premium⁠⁠: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord ⁠⁠GrowthMindset.Supercast.com⁠⁠ Steven Stein Bestselling author and psychologist who has worked with leading corporates, defense agencies and some of the biggest reality TV shows. ⁠Steven J. Stein⁠ Books: ⁠EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and your success⁠ ⁠Emotional Intelligence for Dummies⁠ ⁠Hardiness: Making stress work for you to achieve your goals Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - ⁠⁠Schedule Link⁠⁠ - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - ⁠⁠YouTube (Growth Mindset)⁠⁠ 🛜 Website - ⁠⁠Growth Mindset⁠⁠ Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Emotional Intelligence: Why the FBI Trains for Empathy, and You Should Too w/ Steven Stein Chapters: 00:00 Emotional Intelligence - Steven Stein Intro 02:18 Everyday signs of emotional intelligence 05:40 Improving Emotional Intelligence 08:02 Emotional Intelligence in Different Professions 11:30 Coaching for Emotional Intelligence at Work 14:20 The US Air Force Emotional Intelligence Study 17:00 Empathy Training Course 18:39 Emotional Intelligence and Neurodiversity 23:22 Trainable Aspects of Emotional Intelligence 24:40 Building Empathy by Using Drugs 27:11 Personal Growth in Emotional Intelligence 30:41 Reality TV and Emotional Intelligence 34:54 Cross-Cultural Differences in EQ 38:20 General Likability vs. Emotional Intelligence 40:42 Tips to Build Assertiveness 43:40 Relationship between IQ and EQ 49:59 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

2 Touko 54min

Doing the thing - a short sharp masterclass on creating focus

Doing the thing - a short sharp masterclass on creating focus

There are a million ways to waste time. We don't need a million and one ways to be productive. We just need to - Do The Thing It's easy to overcomplicate productivity: Over analysing your habits Over examing your past Over sharing your strategies. These are all effective ways to not be productive. In this episode, we cut through the fluff and focus on the pure, simple truths. How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT⁠⁠ Apple - ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649⁠⁠ YouTube - ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast⁠⁠ Can't find it on your player? This is the RSS feed - ⁠⁠https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8⁠⁠ UPGRADE to ⁠Premium⁠: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord ⁠GrowthMindset.Supercast.com⁠ Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - ⁠Schedule Link⁠ - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - ⁠YouTube (Growth Mindset)⁠ 🛜 Website - ⁠Growth Mindset⁠ Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Doing the thing - a short sharp masterclass on creating focus Chapters: 00:00 The many ways to tackle productivity 01:35 Essay - "Doing the thing" 03:08 Busy vs productive 04:47 Productivity for a podcaster 07:00 False productivity - Hiking 08:43 Psychology of productivity 09:27 Procrastination - Temporal Motivation Theory 10:49 Planning Fallacy 11:26 Zegarknik effect - Just start 13:19 Adverts 13:25 Questions and answers 13:34 When should I do the thing? 13:44 What if I don't have time? 13:58 How do you make time? 14:59 What if it's hard? 15:48 What if I am not ready to do the thing? 18:45 What if I don't know how to do the thing? 20:01 What if I fail? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

29 Huhti 25min

Overthinking: The psychology of catastrophizing and how to stop assuming the worst

Overthinking: The psychology of catastrophizing and how to stop assuming the worst

We don’t see the future. We predict it — and sometimes we predict disaster before it’s even possible. Catastrophizing is a mental reflex. It’s your mind, desperate for control, drawing monsters where none exist yet. In this episode, we explore the quiet space between stimulus and story — the moment you could choose curiosity over certainty. Relationships, careers, self-worth: all suffer when we confuse our imagined outcomes with inevitable truths. But if we learn to watch the story unfold without believing it, something remarkable happens. We reclaim possibility. You’ll leave with: Understanding of how the brain creates fear to protect itself Tools for building awareness instead of reaction A framework for making peace with uncertainty — and using it to grow The psychology that makes false fears feel real Stop letting your brain run disaster drills for things that haven’t happened. Tune in. How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT⁠⁠ Apple - ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649⁠⁠ YouTube - ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast⁠⁠ Can't find it on your player? This is the RSS feed - ⁠⁠https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8⁠⁠ AD-FREE with Premium: 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs + Bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Overthinking: The psychology of catastrophizing and how to stop assuming the worst Chapters: 00:00 Why this topic is popular 01:45 What is catastrophising 04:18 Build awareness 07:10 Magnifying and minimising 08:32 More details feels more real. 10:16 The human tendency to just invent stories 13:22 ADHD 15:31 Catastrophizing and being diagnosed with ADHD 16:17 Balancing worst and best scenarios 17:23 Social anxiety example 19:09 Write a journal 20:31 Alex Hormozi selling gym subscriptions 21:09 Want and don't want chair 23:26 4 stages of intrusive thoughts 28:50 4 step method for mitigating catastrophization 28:50 Step 1 - Awareness 29:57 Step 2 - Challenging the thought 30:40 Step 3 - Imagine the best 31:11 Step 4 - Accept uncertainty 32:55 Catastrophizing is the opposite of Growth mindset 33:14 Episode summary Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

25 Huhti 36min

Bad Habits: The Psychology of Behavioural Debt—and How to Pay It Off

Bad Habits: The Psychology of Behavioural Debt—and How to Pay It Off

What if the person you think you are is an outdated idea? In this episode, we explore how habits form—not from logic, but from history. From childhood rules to adult rituals, your behaviours aren’t just choices. They’re echoes. We look at behavioural debt: how the past continues to extract payments from your present and what you can do about it. We look expansively at different ways we pick up all these habits and identities, and then use 5 ideas from psychology and philosophy to fix them. There’s a monk shedding illusions, a writer who redefined his identity, and a cycling team that changed everything with 1% improvements. These aren’t just stories. They’re invitations—to become intentional, to design rituals that serve who you want to be, not who you used to be. Takeaways: Reframe your identity as something you craft, not inherit Use “identity microshifts” to pay off your behavioural debt Hack your own Fresh Start Effect—even on a random Tuesday Learn how to become yourself through subtraction instead of adding more things If you’ve ever felt like your habits were someone else’s or like your current actions no longer serve who you are, this episode will make a lot of sense to you. The real work isn’t in learning more—it’s in unlearning what no longer fits. How to Change the World Sam's new show can be found on major podcast players: Spotify - ⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/1Fj3eFjEoAEKF5lWQxPJyT⁠⁠ Apple - ⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-change-the-world-the-history-of-innovation/id1815282649⁠⁠ YouTube - ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@HowToChangeTheWorldPodcast⁠⁠ Can't find it on your player? This is the RSS feed - ⁠⁠https://feeds.acast.com/public/shows/682b3b86696b5d1232d698a8⁠⁠ AD-FREE with ⁠Premium⁠: 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs + Bonus content 💬 Community Discord ⁠GrowthMindset.Supercast.com⁠ Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Bad Habits: The Psychology of Behavioural Debt—and How to Pay It Off Chapters: 00:00 What makes you, you? 02:52 Memory and the self 04:20 British Accents and lessons of children 05:58 Attachment and behaviour 07:58 Small Actions Compound 09:36 Advert - Magic Mind 09:38 Opening our minds 11:01 Every story has a villain 14:24 Path Dependence: The Continuity Trap 16:21 Self Schema Theory: The Stories We Tell Ourselves 17:52 Neuroplasticity - Hebb's Law and rewiring brain connections 19:56 Friedrich Nietzsche and becoming who you are 21:27 Psychological Rebirth: The Fresh Start Effect 23:20 Conclusion - Paying of behavioural debt 24:36 Feedback 25:07 Send Off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

22 Huhti 28min

Eat, Pray, Set Boundaries: The psychology of getting your needs met

Eat, Pray, Set Boundaries: The psychology of getting your needs met

How often do you say no? In this episode, I unpack the beautiful mess that is boundary-setting—with stories, psychology, and a touch of Brexit. This episode dives deep into what it really means to assert your needs. Boundaries aren’t about building walls—they’re more like installing a front door with a lock you actually use. We explore why people-pleasing kills self-respect, how resentment creeps in when you’re too “nice,” and why your future depends on the limits you’re willing to draw today. What you’ll take away: 10 signs of poor boundaries How to spot a weak boundary before it drains your energy Why saying no can be the kindest thing you do You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate How to identify emotional manipulation in everyday relationships A quadrant model that makes difficult conversations easier Listen now if you’re ready to stop being agreeable and start being respected. AD-FREE with ⁠Premium⁠: 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs + Bonus content 💬 Community Discord ⁠GrowthMindset.Supercast.com⁠ Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Eat, Pray, Set Boundaries: The psychology of getting your needs met Chapters: 00:00 Setting boundaries for how you want to be treated 02:58 Boundaires in life Example 05:10 Why boundaries need balance 07:19 10 signs of poor boundaries 07:35 Difficulty making decisions 07:58 Feeling selfish for saying no 08:18 Frequent apologizing 08:49 Uncertainty about what to share 09:13 Passive aggressiveness 09:49 Losing sense of self 10:10 Need for external validation 10:26 Resentment 10:43 Constant sense of fatigue 11:02 Dramatic relationships 11:34 Abusive situations 15:03 Identifying crap boundaries 15:14 Floppy boundary 17:22 Rigid boundary 19:10 Why we struggle with boundaries 23:09 Creating healthy boundaries 23:39 Personal boundaries 24:07 Social boundaries 25:24 Value-based boundaries 26:43 Communicating boundaries 28:25 Traffic light framework 31:58 The importance of independence 34:41 Book suggestions 35:22 Send off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

18 Huhti 39min

Science of Mental Toughness: Assess yourself using the 4 quadrants of resilience

Science of Mental Toughness: Assess yourself using the 4 quadrants of resilience

What separates those who break from those who bend? A shift—not in strength, but in perspective. In today’s episode, we look at the 4 quadrants of mental resilience: Control, Commitment, Challenge, and Confidence —using a blend of metaphors, Stoic wisdom, and powerful stories from history. Think of your mind like a car: control is the steering wheel, commitment is the fuel, challenge is the terrain, and confidence? That’s your engine. From Helen Keller to Joan of Arc, you’ll see how legendary mental strength isn’t born—it’s built. Plus, learn why reacting to criticism like a calm kung-fu master might be your new superpower. Mental toughness isn’t built in heroic moments; it’s forged in the quiet choice to show up again. Reflect on where you place your power: inside or out? Anchor your goals in systems, not wishful thinking. Let difficulty be your teacher, not your warning sign. If you’re ready to change how you see resilience, this episode will shift everything. WORKSHOP - Building certainty in an uncertain world 😱 The world is spinning faster and increasingly feels unhinged ✊ Use Psychology to build strong core foundations and make long-term decisions 🗓️ This week only - 30% off code - EARLYBIRD 🎟️ Join us - ⁠⁠https://workshop.growthmindsetpodcast.com⁠ Upgrade to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Science of Mental Toughness: Assess yourself using the 4 quadrants of resilience Chapters: 00:00 The meaning in suffering 02:14 The 4 elements of mental toughness 02:47 Quadrant of control 07:13 Quadrant of commitment 10:59 Quadrant of challenge 16:02 Quadrant of confidence 20:56 Building mental toughness requires practice 26:57 Send off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

15 Huhti 30min

Nervous System Mastery: Build resilience, reduce stress and feel more yourself - w/ Esin Pinarli

Nervous System Mastery: Build resilience, reduce stress and feel more yourself - w/ Esin Pinarli

There’s only so much logic you can apply to your problems, at some point you need to work with your biology. The nervous system it an incredible organ built to help you survive and it can over-ride your conscious processing at will. To stop tripping over our barriers and build true resilience, reduce stress & feel more alive we need there is a way. Working with your nervous system instead of against it. On the show we invite Esin Pinarli a licensed therapist and expert in working with our nervous system to give us a masterclass on turning discomfort into growth. Three Takeaways: Your nervous system doesn’t want you to succeed—it wants you to survive. Discomfort is a signal, not a stop sign. You grow by expanding your window of tolerance, not by breaking through it. Real personal growth doesn’t come from reading another book or “thinking positive.” It comes from your body. From doing the hard thing, just a little bit at a time. We talk about titration (small steps), edge surfing (riding discomfort), and how your brain actually rewires itself when you face fear—gracefully. Turns out, the part of your brain responsible for willpower literally grows when you push yourself. This is about learning to stretch without snapping. To build a stronger relationship with yourself—one uncomfortable moment at a time. Related Episodes Neuroscience of Fear - Spotify - Apple 4 Hidden Fears sabotaging your life - Spotify - Apple Stephen Porges: Polyvagal Theory and building inner peace - Spotify - Apple Jessica Baum: Attachment theory and relationships - Spotify - Apple Edge Surfing: How to slow down time - Spotify - Apple WORKSHOP - Building certainty in an uncertain world 😱 The world is spinning faster and increasingly feels unhinged ✊ Use Psychology to build strong core foundations and make long-term decisions 🎟️ Join us - ⁠⁠https://workshop.growthmindsetpodcast.com⁠⁠ Sponsors 🧪 Magic Mind - Mental performance shot - 50% off - https://MagicMind.com/GrowthEDU - code GROWTH50 🌱 Cozy Earth - Luxury bedding and loungewear 35% off - https//CozyEarth.com - code GROWTH Upgrade to Premium: 🏖️ Ad-free listening 🤘 Support the show 🔓 Exclusive AMAs and bonus content 💬 Community Discord GrowthMindset.Supercast.com Contact Esin Practice - https://www.eternalwellnesscounseling.com/ LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/esin-pinarli-73ab1722/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/esinpinarli_lcsw/ Get in Touch 👋 Free Call - Schedule Link - https://cal.com/samwebster/mindset 📧 Email - GrowthMindsetPodcast (@) gmail,com Growth Mindset Psychology: Sam Webster explores the psychology of happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and growth through the lens of self-improvement. 📺 Watch - YouTube (Growth Mindset) 🛜 Website - Growth Mindset Show: Growth Mindset, psychology of self-improvement Episode: Nervous System Mastery: Build resilience, reduce stress and feel more yourself - w/ Esin Pinarli Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to nervous system mastery 03:09 Defining Growth Mindset 04:16 The Science Behind Willpower 06:53 Skill Breaks and Titration 08:54 Metaphors for Growth 09:56 Understanding the Nervous System 11:47 Fear of Intimacy and Abandonment 13:49 The Duality of Human Nature 18:39 Hysterical = historical -> energy stored in body 19:36 How to discharge energy 21:16 Exercise as an antidepressant 23:30 Edge surfing and accepting growth 28:40 Magic Mind 30:14 Accepting this moment 31:46 Navigating co-dependant relationships and personal growth that affects relationships 37:17 What is Shame 38:52 The Role of Gratitude and Glimmers 44:28 The Journey of Self-Improvement 50:57 Extra content from Esin 52:22 Take homes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

11 Huhti 58min

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