1741: Dealing with the tragedy of infant death as Mormon parents - Martine & Stuart Smith Pt 2

Martine & Stuart have their first child, Nathaniel, who was diagnosed with Epidermolysis Bullosa (EB), a rare, painful, and ultimately fatal genetic skin condition. Caring for a child with EB is an immense emotional toll on them due to the constant pain the baby suffers with basic daily tasks like feeding & changing diapers. This episode delves further into the contradictions and complexities of Mormon doctrine around reproduction which made it difficult for Martine and Stuart to come to terms with Nathaniel's condition. They felt guilt and self-blame upon his diagnosis, questioning whether it was punishment for wanting to wait to have children, or due to a "Saturday's Warrior" type pact agreed to in the pre-existence. The doctrine of pre-mortal decisions and the effects on disabilities was also discussed, along with the contradictory messages about disabled or sick children and those who die before accountability.

As Nathaniel's condition worsened, the couple sought healing through priesthood blessings, but were met with disappointment when they didn't work. John discusses expectations vs. the reality of priesthood blessings and the theological justifications used when they don't work. The couple eventually came to accept the idea of letting Nathaniel go, and he passed away. Martine & Stuart describe the emotional aftermath of Nathaniel's death, including the funeral and how Mormons deal with death.

Despite some trepidation, the couple decides to have another child, which was met with mixed reactions from their community. Martine became pregnant again and gave birth to a healthy son. They later moved to Louisiana, where they became involved in their LDS branch and had a third child, Sarah, who was also born with EB. The episode discusses the routine of care for Sarah and the support they received from their branch. The second death of an infant affected their faith, with Stuart becoming angry at God and turning down a leadership position in the church. Despite this, Martine still wanted more children, and the episode ends with the couple meeting with a General Authority to discuss the deaths of their children and birth control.

Episode Show Notes

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