016: Ask David — How can I cope with a complainer? How can I help a loved one who is depressed?

016: Ask David — How can I cope with a complainer? How can I help a loved one who is depressed?

How can you help a depressed friend or family member? You may be surprised to discover that the attempt to "help" is rarely effective, and may even make the problem worse. In contrast, the refusal to help is nearly always helpful. But to understand that paradox, you'll have to give a listen to this fascinating edition of "Ask David!"

David and Fabrice also address a related problem nearly all of us confront from time to time: How do you deal with a friend who is a relentless whiner and complainer? When you try to help them or suggest a solution to the problem, they just say, "That won't work" and keep complaining. You end up feeling frustrated and annoyed, because the other person just won't listen! David and Fabrice illustrate a shockingly easy and incredibly effective solution to this problem.

Finally, David discusses some disturbing recent research indicating that the ability of therapists—as well as friends or family members—to know how suicidal someone is, is extremely poor. David and Fabrice explain how to assess how suicidal someone actually is, and what to do if you discover that he or she really is at risk of a suicide attempt.

Jaksot(512)

039: Uncovering Techniques (Part 1) — The Individual Downward Arrow

039: Uncovering Techniques (Part 1) — The Individual Downward Arrow

What are the root causes of depression? Anxiety? Relationship problems? In this, and the next two podcasts, you will discover the answer! Cognitive Therapists believe that negative thoughts, or cognit...

5 Kesä 201739min

038: Ask David — Negative Messages from Society

038: Ask David — Negative Messages from Society

A listener named Daisy describes her despair at being unable to have a baby, despite intensive efforts at a fertility clinic. She gets well-meaning messages from friends, family and support groups tha...

29 Touko 201725min

037: Ask David — "My negative thoughts aren't distorted!"

037: Ask David — "My negative thoughts aren't distorted!"

"My problems are real! The world really IS screwed up! And that's not a distortion. So what can I do about my severe depression and anxiety?" David and Fabrice discuss two questions submitted by Feeli...

22 Touko 201725min

036: Ask David — Empowering the Victim With the Five Secrets

036: Ask David — Empowering the Victim With the Five Secrets

A blog reader made a fairly strong and impassioned comment that sometimes asking the patient to examine ways she or he may be contributing to the problem may be a mistake when the patient really IS a ...

15 Touko 201739min

035: Live Session (Mark) — Final Testing, Wrap Up (Part 7)

035: Live Session (Mark) — Final Testing, Wrap Up (Part 7)

This is the last live therapy podcast with Mark, the physician who was convinced he was a failure as a father because of his difficulties forming a close, loving relationship with his oldest son. Alth...

8 Touko 201748min

034: Live Session (Mark) — Methods Phase, cont'd. (Part 6)

034: Live Session (Mark) — Methods Phase, cont'd. (Part 6)

Using the Externalization of Voices, which is arguably the most powerful Cognitive Therapy technique ever created, David & Jill continue encouraging mark to challenge his negative thoughts. The goal o...

1 Touko 201744min

033: Live Session (Mark) — Methods Phase (Part 5)

033: Live Session (Mark) — Methods Phase (Part 5)

David and Jill begin using M = Methods to challenge the Negative Thought Mark wants to work on first: "There must be something defective in my brain that prevents me from forming a loving relationship...

24 Huhti 201749min

032: Live Session (Mark) — Agenda Setting Phase (Part 4)

032: Live Session (Mark) — Agenda Setting Phase (Part 4)

Jill and David encourage Mark to develop his list of positives. Mark draws a blank at first. This is very common among patients and therapists alike. Most of us have not been trained to think about de...

17 Huhti 201735min

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