Chris Voss: #1 Secret Formula FBI Negotiators Use To Always Get What They Want & 4 Ways to Apply These Tactics to Your Life

Chris Voss: #1 Secret Formula FBI Negotiators Use To Always Get What They Want & 4 Ways to Apply These Tactics to Your Life

What's a simple negotiation trick you can try today?

How can you get better at persuading others?

Today, Jay welcomes former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator and author of "Never Split the Difference", Chris Voss. He is renowned for his innovative negotiation strategies that emphasize empathy, emotional intelligence, and tactical communication. After retiring from the FBI, Voss founded The Black Swan Group, a consultancy firm that provides negotiation training for businesses and individuals. He is also a popular speaker and has taught negotiation at various business schools.

Chris discusses his journey from being on a SWAT team to becoming a lead FBI negotiator. He shares that his career path changed after a knee injury and his growing interest in crisis response led him to hostage negotiation where he found the work more satisfying than his previous roles, emphasizing the importance of decisive action in crises.

Chris and Jay discuss how human beings are naturally wired to be negative as a survival mechanism, which impacts negotiations. He reframes negotiation as a collaborative process rather than a confrontational one and suggests that effective negotiation often goes unnoticed because it looks like seamless collaboration. They also talk about gender dynamics in negotiation, with Voss providing advice on how women can better negotiate in environments where they might be undervalued.

In this interview, you'll learn:

How to calm tense talks

How to negotiate with narcissists

How to disarm aggression

How to foster collaboration

How to build rapport

In any situation, effective negotiation is not about winning at all costs but about creating a shared path forward that benefits everyone involved.

With Love and Gratitude,

Jay Shetty

What We Discuss:

00:00 Intro

01:23 Becoming a Lead Negotiator

04:08 Suicide Hotline Conversations

08:03 Labeling the Negative Emotions

09:35 Negotiation Isn’t a Form of Conflict

14:59 How to Get Someone to Collaborate with You?

21:15 How Do You Slow Down?

25:10 How Do You Prepare for a Negotiation?

29:54 Biggest Negotiation Mistakes

31:42 Always Look for the Patterns

40:20 Used and Taken Advantage Of

44:21 The Illusion of Control

46:17 What’s Your Intention?

48:37 How to Negotiate a Better Salary?

50:49 Reward Strategy in the Workplace

53:33 Negotiating Unfulfilled Salary Raise

58:57 How Can Women Negotiate Better?

01:00:57 Negotiations That Don’t End with a Deal

01:05:03 Work with the ELFs

01:11:05 Polite Boundary Setting

01:16:29 How to Not Be Emotional When Negotiating

01:22:08 Are You in the Right Relationship?

01:25:55 Respecting Other People’s Values

01:30:52 Tactical Empathy Documentary

01:34:01 Chris on Final Five

Episode Resources:

Chris Voss | Website

Chris Voss | Instagram

Chris Voss | LinkedIn

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

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Lewis Hamilton ON: Why You Should Stop Chasing Society's Definition of Success & How to Be More Intentional With Your Goals

Lewis Hamilton ON: Why You Should Stop Chasing Society's Definition of Success & How to Be More Intentional With Your Goals

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.Today, I am talking to Lewis Hamilton, 7-time Formula1 world champion, with over a hundred race wins, considered the most successful F1 driver of all time. In 2014, Lewis won BBC's Sports Personality of the Year. Followed two years later by a position in Time magazine's 100 Most Influential People list. Lewis received both accolades for a second time in 2020 in a year that saw him become a leading voice in the global fight for racial equality. In doing so, he was recognized as British GQs Game Changer of the Year and Powerlist's Most Influential Black Person in the uk. Lewis is also a passionate activist for so many underrepresented groups and communities.   Lewis shows us a different perspective on finding your own purpose and going after what you believe is morally right. We talk about how even the simplest things can help change the world, the power we give to our fears and how it’s stopping us from finding our truth, the benefits of being comfortable with your own thoughts, and learning how to declutter our life so we can find our spot in this world.      What We Discuss:00:00:00 Intro00:03:11 The hardest thing you have to do to become who you are today00:04:49 How school became traumatizing00:10:13 Growing up with Dad figure00:17:55 Success is really short-lived00:22:39 We often live in fear of what people think00:28:51 Is it lonely in the racing field?00:42:26 When you’re too focused on one thing00:44:24 Being comfortable with your own thoughts00:48:58 Mission 4400:50:38 Learning to be selfless00:55:17 Trying to be better everyday01:01:14 Lewis on Fast FiveEpisode ResourcesMission 44Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

23 Tammi 20231h 14min

6 Scientifically Proven Ways to Improve Work-Life Balance & Reduce Stress

6 Scientifically Proven Ways to Improve Work-Life Balance & Reduce Stress

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.Today, I am going to share with you the importance of having a work-life balance. It allows us to maintain a healthy relationship between our professional and personal responsibilities. Without a balance, we may experience stress and burnout, which can negatively impact our physical and mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. Additionally, a work-life balance can lead to increased productivity, job satisfaction, and better decision making, leading to better performance at work as well.Key Takeaways:00:00:00 Intro00:02:59 Are you experiencing burnout?00:05:45 Work becomes stressful when we're not growing and learning at work00:10:50 Those with good work-life balance are more productive00:15:23 Continue to sharpen yourself00:19:43 Spend time outdoors00:25:12 Focus on the relationships at work as much as you focus on workLike this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally!Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

20 Tammi 202325min

Mel Robbins ON: Letting Go of Negative Thoughts & Redirecting Your Energy to Self Transformation

Mel Robbins ON: Letting Go of Negative Thoughts & Redirecting Your Energy to Self Transformation

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.Today, I am talking to Mel Robbins. Mel is one of the leading voices in personal development and transformation and a New York Times Bestselling author. Her work includes "The High 5 Habit," "The 5 Second Rule," four #1 bestselling audiobooks, the #1 podcast on Audible, as well as signature online courses that have changed the lives of more than half a million students worldwide. Her groundbreaking work on behavior change has been translated into 41 languages and is used by healthcare professionals, veterans’ organizations, and the world’s leading brands to inspire people to be more confident, effective, and fulfilled.This time, Mel generously shares her thoughts on why people are unhappy and steps they can take to find genuine and lasting happiness, how to deal with our inner voice that's focus on negativity, why dreams are called directional signals, and the truth behind the struggles most of us go through as adults.What We Discuss:00:00:00 Intro00:04:41 Why am I holding on to the things that are making me unhappy?00:13:58 The constant drumbeat of negativity00:21:56 Engaging in your own campaign of misery00:36:50 Difference between dream and delusion00:50:04 Parental mismatch00:57:48 Girls struggle with crippling perfectionism01:02:21 Confidence is the willingness to try01:09:53 Why it’s easier to question how somebody’s changing01:16:19 How to find happiness again01:21:45 Verbal acknowledgement of the little achievementsEpisode ResourcesMel Robbins | WebsiteMel Robbins | InstagramMel Robbins | YouTubeMel Robbins | FacebookMel Robbins | TwitterMel Robbins | BooksThe Mel Robbins PodcastWant to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

16 Tammi 20231h 29min

6 Ways to Be a Great Friend & Build Meaningful Relationships in 2023

6 Ways to Be a Great Friend & Build Meaningful Relationships in 2023

Today, I am going to share with you different ways to strengthen your friendships. Becoming a good friend requires several key qualities such as trustworthiness, loyalty, and communication. Building relationships is always a pursuit in life, and learning how to strengthen every friendship you have can lead to having a better 2023 and becoming more connected to the people around you.To grab a copy of my book, 8 Rules of Love, go to https://8rulesoflove.com/Key Takeaways:00:00:00 Intro00:03:09 How to be a great friend?00:07:21 Tip #1: Always carry a snack00:10:32 Tip #2: Invite more people to the table00:13:38 Tip #3: Keep investing in your friendships00:17:40 Tip #4: Try new things together00:19:47 Tip #5: Go visit your school together00:21:31 Tip #6: Don’t make it about you when they’re stressedLike this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally!Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

13 Tammi 202324min

Kevin Hart ON: How to Conquer Your Fear of Failing & Processing the Obstacles of Forgiveness, Love, and Loss

Kevin Hart ON: How to Conquer Your Fear of Failing & Processing the Obstacles of Forgiveness, Love, and Loss

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.Today, I am talking to Kevin Hart. Kevin is an actor, comedian, author, investor, and CEO. Over the years he has become Hollywood’s box office powerhouse, opening ten films at number one at the box office with $4.23 billion revenue at the global box office. In 2020 Hart starred in “Die Hart,” the first production of its kind, created through his digital network, Laugh Out Loud, and Executive Produced through his production company, Hartbeat Productions. Kevin’s memoir, I Can’t Make This Up, debuted at number one on The New York Times Best Sellers List and remained on the Top 10 Nonfiction Hardcover Bestsellers List for ten weeks straight. Kevin’s digital network, the Laugh Out Loud Network, serves as a platform for emerging comedians and is home to two premium series which both feature Kevin – “What the Fit?” and “Cold as Balls.” We get to see Kevin’s serious side as he talks about self love and team effort. He places emphasis on the importance of focusing our energy on finding a solution rather than wasting time on the problem, how team effort is the foundation to all forms of success, why we should always consider both sides of the story, the beauty of cheering for others success and celebrating it with them, and how self love and self appreciation must start with you and not come from someone else.  Truly, there is no shortcut to success. It is earned through hard work, clear purpose, surrounding yourself with the right people, and a multitude of self love.      What We Discuss:00:00:00 Intro00:03:19 Looking in the mirror and being okay with yourself00:07:38 Having parents that opens opportunities for you00:13:06 Don’t focus on the problem, focus on the solution00:20:45 It’s hard to see the good if you’re only seeing the bad00:25:20 The simplest things came from an idea00:35:12 Team effort is the foundation of success00:43:19 Celebrate each other’s success00:58:24 Talk to yourself01:06:47 Looking at things with both lenses01:10:16 You gotta learn it01:15:12 Would you wish pain and suffering for anyone?01:20:50 Critical thinking01:25:27 There is no handbook to fame01:29:56 Kevin on Final FiveEpisode ResourcesMonsters and How to Tame ThemKevin Hart | WebsiteKevin Hart | InstagramKevin Hart | TwitterKevin Hart | FacebookKevin Hart | TikTokLOL! NetworkWant to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

9 Tammi 20231h 39min

The 4-Tier Framework to Effective Goal Setting & Why You've Failed in the Past

The 4-Tier Framework to Effective Goal Setting & Why You've Failed in the Past

How many times have you made goals and resolutions and they have just failed every single year? My prayer for each and every single one of you is to have a meaningful, fulfilling, purposeful 2023 so that you can transform your life.This is a completely unique & different goal setting framework that you've never learned. Don't keep applying the same things that failed every year. A new decade needs a new approach and these are the tools needed to win the year!To grab a copy of my book, 8 Rules of Love, go to https://8rulesoflove.com/Key Takeaways:00:00:00 Intro00:01:07 Framework for growth and goal setting00:07:20 Step #1: Focus on the growth00:13:12 Step #2: Observe your opportunities00:18:33 Step #3: Build the ideal action plan00:24:22 Step #4: Learn, launch, and loveLike this show? Please leave us a review here - even one sentence helps! Post a screenshot of you listening on Instagram & tag us so we can thank you personally!Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

6 Tammi 202330min

Mark Hyman ON: How Food Can Heal or Damage Your Health & Biological Secrets to Longevity

Mark Hyman ON: How Food Can Heal or Damage Your Health & Biological Secrets to Longevity

You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.Today, I am talking to Mark Hyman, MD. Dr. Hyman is the director of the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine, and founder and director of The Ultra-Wellness Center. He is the bestselling author of numerous books, including Eat Fat, Get Thin, The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet, and The Blood Sugar Solution. Dr. Hyman talks about the ultimate benefit of eating the right food for our body. He explains the right ingredients we need to be mindful of for optimal health, the core systems in our body responsible for keeping it healthy, how healing doesn’t just involve one aspect of the body but the entirety to reformat your system, and how our social circle affects our habits and can potentially change our behaviors. Indeed, eating right is equivalent to living well. We are what we eat, therefore, improving our eating habits is one of the secrets to longevity.        What We Discuss:00:00:00 Intro00:02:27 The effects of ultra-processed food00:07:19 What is aging us faster?00:10:34 The foundational basics of self-care00:20:26 Your social circle affects your habits00:27:10 Link between inflammation and aging00:35:44 Damaged proteins00:41:44 Clean diet activates the body’s healing mechanisms00:48:07 The power of a healthy diet00:51:47 The core biological systems of the body01:00:07 Dr. Hyman on Final FiveEpisode ResourcesMark Hyman | WebsiteMark Hyman | TwitterMark Hyman | FacebookMark Hyman | InstagramMark Hyman | YouTubeMark Hyman | BooksThe Doctor's Farmacy PodcastThe Ultra-Wellness CenterWant to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

2 Tammi 20231h 6min

3 Ways To Get The Most Out Of Therapy & How Therapy Isn't Only for Big Issues and Problems

3 Ways To Get The Most Out Of Therapy & How Therapy Isn't Only for Big Issues and Problems

Today, I'm joined by Haesue Jo, Licensed Therapist & Head of Clinical Operations at BetterHelp, with years of experience providing individual and family therapy in community mental health. Her current clinical focus includes working with individuals with a variety of presenting problems, including anxiety, relationship and family issues, trauma, community violence, gender identity, and depression.In this session, we sit down with Ulato Sam as he talks about the challenges he had growing up, the hardships that comes when migrating into a new country as a person of color, overcoming the pressure of preconceived beliefs other people have, and learning the necessary skills and tools to be able to fend for yourself and still have the heart to help others.  Disclaimer: Haesue Jo is not Ulato's actual therapist, and they are not in a therapist-client relationship.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.What We Discuss:00:00:00 Intro00:02:32 Growing up in Jamaica00:06:06 Not fully understanding self awareness 00:14:33 Expressing your thoughts without perspective interference00:17:33 The reality of moving into a new place00:22:01 Motivation to overcome societal pressure00:25:16 Where did you learn these skills?00:28:01 The pressure of life never stops00:32:00 “You should eat so as not to get hungry.”00:36:45 We all grow up with different experiences00:40:30 Tools we need to survive and thriveEpisode ResourcesBetterHelpWant to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

30 Joulu 202244min

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