I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.
Death, Sex & Money4 Kesä 2024

I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also knew she didn’t want motherhood to take over her personality. After all, she had spent years as a blogger making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made “mom friends.” Then Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started to shift. “I had put so much energy into figuring out how not to lose myself to caregiving,” Elissa writes in her new book, “that I completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some of myself there.” In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and engender “moral transformation.” Plus, the economics of care, and what really valuing care in society would look like. Elissa’s book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called “It’s Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.” Are you a paid caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode. Tell us some things you’ve taken away from the experience – wild stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jaksot(520)

A New York City Mover Who Carries More Than Your Boxes

A New York City Mover Who Carries More Than Your Boxes

Over the past 20 years, Adonis Williams has moved thousands of people in and out of New York City. With each move, he catches a glimpse of a life in transition.  Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Loka 202333min

Ellen Burstyn at 90 Today

Ellen Burstyn at 90 Today

Anna and Ellen Burstyn check in 9 years after they first spoke. Ellen talks about the relationships that make up her life in this moment, her dog, and finding novelty in the everyday. You can listen to the original interview here.  Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Syys 202321min

Revisiting Ellen Burstyn at 81

Revisiting Ellen Burstyn at 81

We’re listening back to one of Anna’s favorite episodes, when actor Ellen Burstyn invited us into her apartment for a sprawling interview about her past and present.   In next week’s episode, you’ll hear a new conversation between Anna and Ellen, recorded just a few weeks ago. But until then, you can also listen back to Ellen’s conversation with journalist and feminist icon Gloria Steinem on our show from 2016 here.  Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20 Syys 202357min

I Did Surrogacy For Money And Now I’m Starting Over

I Did Surrogacy For Money And Now I’m Starting Over

Anna follows up with Sarah Short, the mom who became a surrogate to pay off debt. They discuss her divorce, starting her own business, and why this chapter of her life feels “freeing.” And if you're a Maria Bamford fan, Anna is interviewing her on stage in San Francisco on Saturday, October 14th, as part of City Arts & Lectures. You can get tickets to join them in person or watch remotely here: https://www.cityarts.net/event/maria-bamford-3/ Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Syys 202335min

A Headline Stays Static Even As A Life Transforms

A Headline Stays Static Even As A Life Transforms

Lawrence Bartley was first on the show in 2014 while he was still in prison. In this new episode, he talks about becoming an award-winning journalist and the negative impact of a headline from our show.  Watch Inside Story here: https://www.themarshallproject.org/inside-story  Listen to Lawrence's previous DSM episodes here: https://www.wnyc.org/people/lawrence-bartley/  Get tickets for Anna’s October 14th conversation with Maria Bamford here: https://www.cityarts.net/events/  Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Syys 202334min

Why Ezra Klein Thinks “We're Living Through A Mistake”

Why Ezra Klein Thinks “We're Living Through A Mistake”

The New York Times journalist talks about the difficulties of early parenthood, the lure of communal living, and why he loves Burning Man. Want more from Ezra on the topics in today’s episode? We recommend the following:  This episode of The Ezra Klein Show with scholar Kristen Ghodsee on communes and intentional communities (https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/09/opinion/ezra-klein-kristen-ghodsee.html), a conversation The Atlantic’s Jerusalem Demsas about homelessness and the origins of our current housing crisis (https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/18/opinion/ezra-klein-podcast-jerusalem-demsas.html), an interview with writer Sheila Liming on loneliness in America (https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/18/opinion/ezra-klein-podcast-sheila-liming.html), and two interviews he’s done with child psychologist Alison Gopnik (https://www.vox.com/podcasts/2019/6/13/18677595/alison-gopnik-changed-how-i-think-about-love, https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/16/podcasts/ezra-klein-podcast-alison-gopnik-transcript.html). Finally, Annie Lowrey’s piece about her experiences with pregnancy, childbirth and early parenting: “What Counts As the Life of the Mother?” (https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/08/pregnancy-birth-complication-abortion-life-of-mother/671006/). Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Elo 202341min

A Trans Elder’s ‘Final Act’: Musician Beverly Glenn-Copeland

A Trans Elder’s ‘Final Act’: Musician Beverly Glenn-Copeland

The 79-year-old musician tells Anna about coming into his gender identity, “being cared for” by his bandmates, and the joys–and pitfalls–of finding success later in life. Listen to "Transmissions" here (https://open.spotify.com/album/6X7rxq4bKcwPTKRFgIzR30?si=BfLeHGcKRS-uC0O5T9irBA), and you can stream his new album “The Ones Ahead” here: https://open.spotify.com/album/0AdkBNWEM8uprSOb2ah8aD. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Elo 202333min

Secrets, Turn-Ons, and Fantasies: Your Stories About Porn

Secrets, Turn-Ons, and Fantasies: Your Stories About Porn

We revisit our most popular episode, featuring your stories about secret hard drives, fantasy plot lines, illegal downloads, titillating Tumblr feeds, and giving porn up completely. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Elo 202330min

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