I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.
Death, Sex & Money4 Kesä 2024

I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also knew she didn’t want motherhood to take over her personality. After all, she had spent years as a blogger making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made “mom friends.” Then Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started to shift. “I had put so much energy into figuring out how not to lose myself to caregiving,” Elissa writes in her new book, “that I completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some of myself there.” In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and engender “moral transformation.” Plus, the economics of care, and what really valuing care in society would look like. Elissa’s book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called “It’s Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.” Are you a paid caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode. Tell us some things you’ve taken away from the experience – wild stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jaksot(520)

How Maria Hinojosa Learned To Fluff Her Feathers

How Maria Hinojosa Learned To Fluff Her Feathers

The journalist talks about building up her confidence in the world of media, and reaching a breaking point in her marriage that led her to reevaluate her priorities. This episode includes a description of a rape. Want to check out or add to our Pandemic Tool Kit? Visit deathsexmoney.org/pandemictoolkit. Follow our show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @deathsexmoney. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. And support our work at deathsexmoney.org/donate. And stay in touch with us! Sign up for our newsletter and we'll keep you up to date about what's happening behind the scenes at Death, Sex & Money. Plus, we'll send you audio recommendations, letters from our inbox and a note from Anna. Join the Death, Sex & Money community and subscribe today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Syys 202028min

A Broadway Actor Turned Stay-At-Home Dad

A Broadway Actor Turned Stay-At-Home Dad

Our listener Bill Army was acting on Broadway until March 12. Since then, he's been taking care of his two daughters—and bringing the world indoors to them—while his wife works in a Queens emergency room.  Check out photos of Bill's amazing indoor scenes on our Instagram page. And make sure you follow us while you're there! And if you're not already subscribed to our newsletter, sign up here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Syys 20206min

Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor On Racism, Insecurity and Negotiation

Supreme Court Justice Sotomayor On Racism, Insecurity and Negotiation

Longtime Sesame Street actor Sonia Manzano and U.S. Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor talk about leaving their childhood homes in the Bronx, facing their insecurities, and coming to understand the power of the written word.  This episode is part of our 2016 Great Guest Takeover series, when several past Death, Sex & Money guests took a turn in the host chair during Anna's maternity leave. Check out Sonia Manzano's 2015 interview with Anna on Death, Sex & Money here.  To listen to our 2016 "Other Americans" call-in special, click here. And to add to and browse our Pandemic Tool Kit, click here.  Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Follow the show on Twitter @deathsexmoney and Facebook at facebook.com/deathsexmoney. Sign up for the Death, Sex & Money newsletter at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. And email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Syys 202037min

Drop Off: A 24-Hour Daycare's Struggle To Stay Open

Drop Off: A 24-Hour Daycare's Struggle To Stay Open

"I have to keep coming until we've exhausted everything, and we definitely have to shut the door." Are you a new listener? Welcome! Check out our starter kit, which includes some of our favorite episodes of the show. It includes profiles of people like Bill Withers and Ellen Burstyn, stories about how race and class come up in our relationships, and some of our past series — like In New Orleans, which profiled five people who lived in the city during and after Hurricane Katrina.  Follow our show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @deathsexmoney. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. And support our work at deathsexmoney.org/donate. And stay in touch with us! Sign up for our newsletter and we'll keep you up to date about what's happening behind the scenes at Death, Sex & Money. Plus, we'll send you audio recommendations, letters from our inbox and a note from Anna. Join the Death, Sex & Money community and subscribe today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Syys 202033min

Books We Love: Inside The Bubble With Akwaeke Emezi

Books We Love: Inside The Bubble With Akwaeke Emezi

Writer and artist Akwaeke Emezi talks with me about their childhood in Nigeria, their brief stint in veterinary school, and how, these days, they've deemed themself "worthy of extravagance." Watch the video of this live conversation here, thanks to our friends at The Greene Space. For the first two conversations in this series, you can watch or listen to Michael Arceneaux here, and watch or listen to Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman here. And be sure to check out Akwaeke's home on Instagram.  To find out about the next conversation in our series, and to get more recommendations from the Death, Sex & Money team, subscribe to our newsletter. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

26 Elo 202059min

"They Rely On Me": An Update From A USPS Mail Carrier

"They Rely On Me": An Update From A USPS Mail Carrier

As the USPS finds itself at the center of a political divide, we check in with a mail carrier who wrote to us earlier this year about being an essential worker at the height of the pandemic.  Are you a new listener? Welcome! Check out our starter kit, which includes some of our favorite episodes of the show. Follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @deathsexmoney. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. And support our work at deathsexmoney.org/donate. And stay in touch with us! Sign up for our newsletter and we'll keep you up to date about what's happening behind the scenes at Death, Sex & Money. Plus, we'll send you audio recommendations, letters from our inbox and a note from Anna. Join the Death, Sex & Money community and subscribe today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Elo 202015min

This Senator Saved My Love Life

This Senator Saved My Love Life

A story about what Alan Simpson, an expert on the federal deficit, taught me about love—and how it changed everything. Follow our show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @deathsexmoney. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. And support our work at deathsexmoney.org/donate. And stay in touch with us! Sign up for our newsletter and we'll keep you up to date about what's happening behind the scenes at Death, Sex & Money. Plus, we'll send you audio recommendations, letters from our inbox and a note from Anna. Join the Death, Sex & Money community and subscribe today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

12 Elo 202028min

What Keeps Wendell Pierce Up At Night

What Keeps Wendell Pierce Up At Night

While spending the pandemic with his 95-year-old father in New Orleans, the actor is thinking hard about family and parenthood.  Are you a new listener? Welcome! Check out our starter kit, which includes some of our favorite episodes of the show. It includes profiles of people like Bill Withers and Ellen Burstyn, stories about how race and class come up in our relationships, and some of our past series — like In New Orleans, which profiled five people who lived in the city during and after Hurricane Katrina.  Follow our show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @deathsexmoney. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. And support our work at deathsexmoney.org/donate. And stay in touch with us! Sign up for our newsletter and we'll keep you up to date about what's happening behind the scenes at Death, Sex & Money. Plus, we'll send you audio recommendations, letters from our inbox and a note from Anna. Join the Death, Sex & Money community and subscribe today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Elo 202033min

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