Death, Sex & Money4 Kesä 2024

I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also knew she didn’t want motherhood to take over her personality. After all, she had spent years as a blogger making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made “mom friends.” Then Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started to shift. “I had put so much energy into figuring out how not to lose myself to caregiving,” Elissa writes in her new book, “that I completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some of myself there.” In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and engender “moral transformation.” Plus, the economics of care, and what really valuing care in society would look like. Elissa’s book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called “It’s Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.” Are you a paid caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode. Tell us some things you’ve taken away from the experience – wild stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Dead People Don't Have Any Secrets

Amanda's husband Sam had a lot of secrets, most of which she discovered after his death. That made grieving, and moving on, a lot more complicated. Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Huhti 201631min

Rosie, Sixto, Hari, Uma, Mahershala, Amatus, Lisa & Dan

During times of big change, family often keeps us grounded. Meet the people who played that role for Rosie Perez, Hari Kondabolu and Mahershala Ali, from our live show in Brooklyn. Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Maalis 20161h 17min

After My Brother Avonte Disappeared

Danny Oquendo put his life on hold when his half brother, Avonte, disappeared from his New York City school in 2013. Three years later, his life is dramatically different. Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Maalis 201626min

Falling in Love... With Heroin

Susanne and Mike met and fell in love with each other...and heroin. They stuck together through addiction and recovery, but things haven't fallen into place the way they had hoped. Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Maalis 201632min

Michael Ian Black's Middle-Aged Angst

Comedian Michael Ian Black has been steadily building his career since the '90s. But he says he's tired of not finding mainstream success. Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Helmi 201628min

DANCE BREAK!

You've been sending us your anthems of change. Now, we want to see you rock out to them. Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Helmi 20165min

Lucinda Williams Says Whatever the Hell She Wants

At 63 years old, musician Lucinda Williams is more successful than ever. But with age has come a lot of loss. Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Helmi 201631min

Why Jeb Corliss Jumps Off Cliffs

Jeb Corliss is a BASE jumper and wingsuit flier who's learned to very carefully control his emotions. It's made him fearless and, he says, "impossible to be in a relationship with." Support Death, Sex & Money by becoming a monthly sustaining member. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Tammi 201627min

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