Death As An Ally to Love with Dr. Jordana Jacobs

Episode 276: Dr. Jordana Jacobs is a clinical psychologist in private practice in New York City. Her approach is integrative, combining psychodynamic and existential therapy into her treatment of patients. Dr. Jacobs’ training at Memorial Sloan Kettering working with terminally ill cancer patients, her studies in Northern India, and her Vipassana meditation practice inspired her research on the complex relationship between death awareness and love. Her dissertation, entitled “Till Death do us Part: The Effect of Mortality Salience on Satisfaction in Long-term Romantic Relationships” specifically explored the ways in which priming for death has the potential to increase intimacy in partnerships. In addition to seeing patients, Dr. Jordana Jacobs now gives talks and leads meditations aimed towards helping people accept inevitable mortality so that they are able to live and love more fully.

Show notes:

• Must-read book: On life After Death by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
• Embodied Archetype Retreat: Unlock parts of yourself that you've been shaming, blaming or hiding for too long. Apply here.
• Feminine Spirit School - the one-stop-shop for all things feminine energy! HERE
• Dr. Jordana Jacob’s background that led her to this impactful work.
• The destructive narratives that we tell ourselves about death.
• Why thinking we might go to hell is still preferable to many people rather than the unknown.
• The incredible story of her great aunt who survived the holocaust with false papers who was in love with a German officer.
• Why death was incredibly helpful to think about when she was going through heartbreak.
• “Death is an anchor.”
• Death is really about surrender and lack of control.
• Esther Perel - “Fire meets air.”
• Buddhist parable: real flowers vs plastic flowers.
• “The more you try to stop it, the more it will come.”
• “Anything we cling to is a form of attachment.”
• What Dr. Jordana Jacob says to people who have a tremendous fear of death.
• “Fear and love can’t live in the same house.” Bobby Klein
• Two questions to ask at the end of your life: Am I love and did I love?
• The pure, unconditional love we have for animals and how to process their deaths.
• What Dr. Jordana Jacob thinks happens when we die.
• The importance of “death reminders.”
• “You have to think about death 5 times a day in order to live fully.”
• Death reminder app HERE
• Her written exercise to put death into perspective.
• “We live 2 lives, and the second one begins when we realize we only have one.” - Confucius
• If you act out of fear, you speed up your life.
• “Presence is where we access love.”
• “Dating: We’re doing it wrong” article HERE
• Must read: Let's Talk About Death Over Dinner by Michael Hebb and The 5 Invitations by Frank Ostaseski

Connect with Dr. Jordana Jacobs:

• Instagram
• Website

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