E.83 - When Polyamory Magnifies Your Relationship Problems with Heather Shannon

Therapist Stephanie M. Sullivan joins the show today and shares her story of finding polyamory through the lens of writing her grad school thesis. After a quick run-in with her cat, we talk about ambiamory and then dive right into ways to make mono-poly relationships successful. We talk about attachment styles and how they apply specifically to mono-poly relationships, including how introducing polyamory to a previously monogamous relationship can cause an attachment injury. So how should we approach the subject when just approaching it could cause damage to your relationship? Tune in to find out, and learn more about Stephanie at www.coloryournamecoaching.com and www.attune-ment.com, and follow her on FB/IG: @SMSullivanMFT and @coloryournamecoaching.

22 Kesä 202137min

This episode got real deep and left me speechless at the end! Christine and I start by chatting about what her children have seen and gone through being raised by polyam parents. She shares a close call story when one of her children asked a school counselor about jealousy in a polyam relationship, which may give listeners a good insight on how to approach similar situations. And of course, Christine and I get to explore human sexuality and development from two corollary viewpoints: that of Chakra and Eastern culture, and Western Pyschology through the eyes of Erikson. This was an incredible conversation that highlighted how a 5000 year old practice (Chakra) is validated by more modern psychological teachings, and how trauma is carried in the body through both of these lenses. And seriously...I'm speechless by the end, so check it out! Learn more about Christine Laplante at www.becomeintegrated.com and follow her on FB/IG: @christinelaplantelmhc and @sacrednotsecret

21 Kesä 202132min

In this episode, I get to chat with Certified Financial Planner Mike Golosovker who gives us some insight into some of the specific nuances relating to polyam folx when it comes to financial planning. While many of the financial foundations are the same across the board no matter your relationship orientation (for example, who are you, what are you trying to accomplish, what are your goals and resources, what's your psychology, and how do we put it all together?), there are some things that make financial planning for polycules a little bit tricker. We cover some of those topics, some things you should be thinking about as a polycule, and also what stops a lot of poly folx from taking the important steps of planning for their future. If you want to set yourself up for financial success, be sure to tune in and learn more about Mike by going to www.champion-strategies.com and follow on FB: @ChampionFinancialStrategies

16 Kesä 202137min

In this episode I get a chance to chat with Kitty Chambliss, #1 best-selling author of The Jealousy Survival Guide and Host of the Loving Without Boundaries podcast. We tackle a listener request about how to tell your monogamous partner that you may be polyamorous, and she gives some incredible insights on the subject. Being clear about your identity, for example, and being undoubtedly certain that you are polyamorous is an important first step to take before sharing the idea with your partner. If this resonates with you, be sure to tune in for a deep dive into coming out to our monogamous partners! Kitty offers relationship coaching services and you can learn more at www.lovingwithoutboundaries.com, and follow them on IG: @lovingwithoutboundaries and Twitter @PolyTalkByKitty.

15 Kesä 202139min

In this episode I interview my two friends, Nel and George, who have been married for over 30 years and polyam for the past 8. Recently, Nel has had a JOYNING (a life commitment ceremony) with another partner. and we get to hear from George and Nel what their experience has been through this transition. We talk about what it was like in the early days of opening up, and how things have changed between then and now with this new life partner in the mix. Nel is also an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, so if you are seeking counseling for your polya journey in California, she can help you out! Go to www.affirmingtherapycenter.com and follow on FB: @AffirmingTherapyCenter

14 Kesä 202136min

What an incredibly powerful episode! Staci has been polyamorous for nearly 20 years and only recently was correctly diagnosed with borderline personality disorder--not to be confused with bipolar personality disorder. She shares her experiences with such vulnerability and transparency, and gives a message of hope for those who are in similar situations. We get into the differences between borderline and bipolar, symptoms of borderline, and tips for partners (especially favorite persons) of folx with borderline. I learned a lot from Staci about what borderline is and I hope others can connect and resonate with her story. If you'd like to chat with her, find her on Facebook under Staci Gatschet(-Miller).

9 Kesä 202139min

This episode was recorded June 1, the beginning of Pride month. I come from a very conservative Hispanic home, was taught that boys don't cry, expected to be a manly man, and when I spent time in the military a lot of those teachings were emphasized further. So it's been a long road for me to get to where I am today: a staunch ally of the LGBTQIA+ community, and someone who will fight alongside you for equal rights and protections. I know I've still got a long way to go, but this is my story and what Pride means to me.

8 Kesä 202121min

In this episode I chat with therapist Nikki Beecher who started her polyamorous journey with a long-distance relationship. LDR's have a tendency to put pressure on you and your partner's time, money, and energy resources, which can easily lead to resentment when needs aren't being met. Nikki and I get deep into how to address resentment especially in long distance relationships, but the lessons apply to relationships of all types. We cover some tips to help you have these hard conversations with your partner, the power of authenticity and vulnerability when getting into those conversations, and how managing expectations at the beginning of your relationships can help prevent resentment in the future. Tune in for an awesome discussion and learn more about Nikki at www.mftnikki.com and follow on FB: @caritascounseling

7 Kesä 202137min