#39 - Considering Divorce? Or Is There Still Hope?

#39 - Considering Divorce? Or Is There Still Hope?

Having ambivalence about your relationship sometimes is completely normal. You have a fight. Maybe a few fights. You go through a period where you both feel disconnected. Kids, jobs, cleaning bathrooms, the dandelions in the front lawn -- virtually everything seems like it's more of a priority than your marriage. All relationships have ebbs and flows. Disconnection and reconnection is simply the experience of being in a long term relationship. But sometimes ... it is hard to reconnect. Particularly if toxic negativity begins to color your interactions. When attachment stretches thin and you can't remember the last time you laughed together, it's normal to wonder if you ever will again. When negative experiences with your partner start to outnumber the good ones, it's normal to wonder if you've arrived at the "end of the line." Is Divorce the Solution? Not necessarily. Feeling upset and scared about your marriage are exactly the feelings that prompt couples to start marriage counseling. Being unhappy with the situation creates the motivation that you need to do the difficult work of growing back together again. And in my experience, when couples have a will to repair the relationship there is always a way. But sometimes, people begin to fantasize about divorce. They don't know how to resolve their relationship problems, and divorcing feels like the only solution. When divorce starts to feel like the glowing, open door to freedom and happiness -- your relationship is in trouble. And of course, I understand there are situations where you may not have a choice: Your partner unilaterally moves towards the door, or perhaps there are such unhealthy and toxic things going on in a marriage that divorcing is genuinely the only reasonable option. Let's Get Real. If you are toeing up to the edge of this precipice, or perhaps already starting to go through the searing process of taking a marriage apart: This podcast is for you. On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with Pro Divorce Mediator Denisa Tova about things to think about if you're on the fence about divorcing, and also practical strategies for creating the best possible outcomes if you decide to move forward with divorce. Main Points: 1) How to tell the difference between "solvable problems" between you and your partner, and situations where divorce is really the best choice. 2) The mindset you need to foster to create a healthy divorce experience. 3) Practical strategies for how to have a civilized, collaborative divorce instead of an ugly, angry one. Listen Now:

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#205 - The Signs of Low Self Esteem

#205 - The Signs of Low Self Esteem

How healthy is your self esteem? If don't feel good about YOU, it's hard stay in a good place and feel confident, hopeful, and effective. In this episode, we'll explore the signs of low self esteem and its causes, and discuss the action oriented strategies that will help you feel good again.  Bonus! Text the word "ESTEEM" to 55444 to get the "How Healthy is Your Self Esteem" quiz, to see where you land on the spectrum of self esteem. To growth! xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

27 Heinä 20201h 12min

#204 - When To Call It Quits in a Relationship

#204 - When To Call It Quits in a Relationship

How do you know when it's time to break up? Knowing when to end a relationship can be confusing, especially when there are good parts — and maybe even hope for the future. Some people are clear that they're done with the relationship, but worry that the realities of single life could be harder than trudging on in the marriage.  If you're in this bind, today's episode is for you. We're tackling questions like: How can you get clarity and confidence around whether to end a relationship? What are the signs that hope and growth is still possible (even if it hasn't happened yet?) What are the "no-hope" red flags that you need to listen to? What if you want to break up, but feel guilty about it? What do you do if you’re unhappy in your relationship, but are facing practical realities such as co-parenting concerns or financial consequences if you separate? All that and more, plus insights, thought provoking questions, and action steps to help you move forward one way or another, on this episode of the podcast.  xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Comments or Questions? Share them in this post @GrowingSelf.com

20 Heinä 20201h 18min

#203 - What's Your Attachment Style?

#203 - What's Your Attachment Style?

How do you relate to others? Are you unknowingly getting involved with people who are only going to hurt you? How do romantic partners experience you — good, bad, and ugly? How can you release self-limiting patterns in relationships so that you can create a healthy, secure, long-term connection?  Understanding your attachment style can provide you with answers to all these questions. Listen and learn about attachment styles, what they mean for you, and don't forget to text "ATTACH" to 55444 to get the Attachment Style Assessment to uncover your own patterns in relationships.  All for you,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

13 Heinä 20201h 1min

#202 - When Your Partner Has a Problem

#202 - When Your Partner Has a Problem

Are you in a relationship with someone who has issues they're not getting help for? It is painful to watch someone you love struggle, and it's also frustrating when you're not getting your needs met in a relationship. How do you help someone who won't help themselves? How long do you wait? When does being "supportive" slide into being "codependent?" When do you call it quits and move on? All that and more, on this episode. Wishing you all the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

6 Heinä 20201h 4min

#201 - Finding Friends You Can Count On

#201 - Finding Friends You Can Count On

Are you seeking to increase your social circle with true-blue friends who have your back? (And weed out the selfish people who take more than they give?) On today's episode of the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, Val Walker is here to share expert advice for how to cultivate relationships with friends you can count on. In this emotionally intimate interview, Val talks about the moment she realized she had "400 Friends & No One To Call" (the title of her latest book), and how it launched her intentional, successful creation of a supportive community of meaningful friendships.  Val has so much fantastic advice to share with you for how to build up a community of support for yourself. I hope you listen! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

29 Kesä 202057min

#200 - The Importance of Healthy Friendships

#200 - The Importance of Healthy Friendships

Most busy professionals feel they don't have the luxury to "just hang out." Yet investing in healthy friendships is one of the single most impactful things you can do to improve your mental, emotional, and even physical health. To support YOU in your understanding of the importance of healthy friendships, and to deepen you understanding of what it really takes to build supportive relationships in your life, I’ve invited science journalist and author Lydia Denworth to speak with me about her new book, “Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond.”   She shares what her painstaking research has uncovered about why friendships are so important to us, the risks of neglecting your friendships, the impact of friendships on children and adolescents, and — perhaps most importantly — concrete strategies for how to build and nurture your friendships during social distancing. Listen, and learn about the importance of healthy friendship and how to build strong friendship connections in your own life. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

22 Kesä 20201h 1min

#199 - Love Without Borders: Cross Cultural Relationships

#199 - Love Without Borders: Cross Cultural Relationships

How to Deal With Cultural Differences in a Relationship As a marriage counselor and couples therapist l know that all relationships bring a variety of challenges and opportunities for growth. At the same time, some couples  — particularly those in cross-cultural relationships — feel that they have further to go in bridging the gap. It’s very easy for couples to get entrenched in conflict rooted in a core belief of “right and wrong” when it comes to how to approach various aspects of their shared life. This can be especially true around hot-button issues such as: “How much influence should my mother-in-law have in our family?” “How do we handle money as a couple?” “How do we parent our children together?” “How do we communicate with each other when we’re stressed?” “Who is in charge of what, around our home?” “How do we handle racial prejudice directed at one of us, or our children?” To tackle these questions, and provide some direction for how to begin building bridges to the center, I’ve asked some multicultural relationship experts to join me for this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Growing Self relationship coaches Dr. Georgiana Spradling, MFT, Tania Chikhani, M.A, and Teresa Thomas, M.A. often work with cross-cultural couples and interracial couples, and have great relationship advice for how to create peace and harmony in your gloriously diverse family. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

15 Kesä 202055min

#198 - Fight Racism, Part 1: Hope, Healing and Empowerment

#198 - Fight Racism, Part 1: Hope, Healing and Empowerment

We are living in historic times. In the midst of a global pandemic, our country is also fighting another battle: One that seeks to shine a light on injustice and systemic racism, end abuse and discrimination of Black Americans and other people of color, and begin the hard work of healing. This reality brings up questions that need to be answered: How can a person of color cope with feelings of anger and pain due to being directly impacted by (or bearing witness to) racial injustice in our society? What are some strategies that Black Americans can use to stay empowered in their relationships, and to make informed, affirming decisions that honor their needs and rights? Where do you turn for safety, support and understanding in a divided and uncertain world? How can people of color honor the reality of the past and present, and also remain hopeful about the future? Growing Self therapists Teresa Thomas, M.S., and Zachary Gaiter, M.S., LPCC tackle these questions and more, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

8 Kesä 202053min

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