#54 - Should You Break Up or Stay Together?

AI has woven itself into our daily lives so quietly and so quickly that many of us don’t even realize how emotionally attached we’re becoming to it... and your AI chatbot might be destroying the way you connect & communicate in your relationships in real life. My guest, Dr. Rachel Wood, a licensed counselor with a PhD in cyberpsychology, helps us make sense of why AI feels so safe, so comforting, and in some cases so intimate, and what it means for our real relationships when a chatbot becomes the place we go to feel understood. We talk about the very real appeal of an AI companion that never gets tired, never gets defensive, and always seems to “get” you. And we also talk about the moments when that dynamic crosses into something unhealthy: when an omnibot becomes your therapist, your best friend, your partner, and your decision-maker… all at once. Rachel shares examples of how dependency forms, how delusions can develop, and why our relational and cognitive “muscles” matter more than ever in this new landscape. This conversation isn’t anti-AI. It’s about staying awake, staying human, and staying connected to ourselves and to each other while we navigate a technology that is becoming surprisingly personal. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 How AI Is Changing Human Relationships 09:20 The Spectrum of AI Relationships 20:18 Cognitive Offloading and Its Real-World Consequences 27:31 Using AI for Growth Without Losing Agency 32:59 When AI Becomes a Dependency 37:07 The Dangers of AI Escalation: A Suicidality Case Study 43:03 AI in Therapy: Tool or Replacement? 51:16 How to Support Someone Attached to Their AI If you’re listening to this and realizing you may be leaning on AI a little more than feels good, or maybe you’re worried about someone you love, please know you’re not alone. These are tender places, and they deserve real, caring support. If you’d like a safe space to sort through what’s coming up for you, or if you’re craving more connection and clarity in your relationships, I’d love to help you get started. You can schedule a consultation with me or someone on my team. Tell us what’s on your heart and what you’re hoping for. We’ll help you get matched with the right support so you can feel steady, understood, and empowered again. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

20 Marras 1h 3min

The holiday season is so challenging when you’re dealing with relationship loss. That’s why I am re-releasing this episode on how to manage a breakup or divorce through the holiday season. This time of year can stir up old feelings, magnify loss, and make you question whether you’ll ever feel like yourself again - and that’s exactly why this conversation still matters. It can feel especially brutal when you’re going through a breakup over the holidays. Everyone else is in goofy sweaters and twinkle lights, and you’re just trying to get through the day without crying in the bathroom. In this episode, I’m talking with you about why you still feel hooked on your ex (even if you know the relationship needed to end), how love can function like an addiction in your brain, and why this season tends to rip everything wide open emotionally. I walk you through the stages of healing after a breakup - from that torturous ambivalence where part of you is still hoping, to the grief of finally letting go, to the anger, guilt, and self-doubt that can sneak up on you later - and then into rebuilding your self-esteem, finding some inner peace, and eventually growing into a wiser, stronger version of yourself. As you listen, I want you to be gently asking yourself, Where am I in this process? What do I actually need right now: space, support, boundaries, or a little nudge back into life? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Coping with Loss During the Holidays 10:15 Understanding the Emotional Impact of Breakups 16:33 Navigating the Stages of Healing 18:34 The Ambivalence Stage: Letting Go 22:15 Emotional Freedom: Grieving and Moving On 28:01 Rebuilding Self-Esteem After a Breakup 31:15 Finding Inner Peace and Moving Forward 34:29 Growth: Learning from the Experience If you’re listening to this and thinking, I can’t do this by myself anymore, I would be truly honored to support you. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, secure place to tell us what’s been going on for you - the grief, the intrusive thoughts about your ex, the way the holidays are stirring everything back up - and we’ll help you get matched with the right expert so you don’t have to figure this out alone. Thousands of people have used this first step to begin healing their hearts and rebuilding their lives, and you can too. If your heart is saying, I’m ready for some real support, consider this my personal invitation to reach out. 💗 xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

17 Marras 42min

Let’s get honest for a second. Porn addiction isn’t really about sex. It’s about connection… about loneliness, shame, and the ache to feel close to something when life feels empty or overwhelming. My guest for this episode, Sathiya Sam, knows that pain deeply. After a 15-year struggle with porn addiction, he rebuilt his life and now helps others do the same through his Deep Clean program - a compassionate, science-meets-spirituality approach that helps people stop using porn and start building real connection again. We’re talking about what really drives addiction, the role of purpose and community in recovery, how to protect kids in this new digital world, and what AI “relationships” mean for the future of intimacy. It’s a deep, human conversation about healing, hope, and the real work of reclaiming yourself. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Porn Addiction Is About Connection, Not Willpower 01:17 Sathiya Sam’s Recovery Story and Deep Clean Method 07:21 Purpose, Boredom, and the Root Causes of Porn Use 13:44 Protecting Kids From Early Exposure 18:24 AI, Loneliness, and Synthetic Intimacy 30:11 Healing Through Community and Real Connection 34:32 Why Your Partner Shouldn’t Be Your Accountability Partner 39:34 First Steps to Quit Porn for Good Sometimes the hardest part is admitting you need a little help, and the bravest thing you can do is take that first step. If you’re ready to start your own growth and healing journey, you can get support from Sathiya here: https://www.sathiyasam.com/growing-self. Let them know Dr. Lisa sent you! ❤️ You don’t have to carry this by yourself. Real change is possible… and it starts with connection. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self P.S. I’d also love to hear what resonated for you or what ideas you’d like me to explore next. Let’s keep the conversation going!

13 Marras 50min

What if the guilt you’ve been trying to shake is a guiding light for better relationships? We spend so much energy trying not to feel guilty, about losing our temper, missing a call, falling short in some way, but guilt isn’t proof that you’re broken. It’s proof that you care. In this episode, I talk with psychologist Dr. Chris Moore about how guilt can actually help you heal your relationships, reconnect with your empathy, and live in alignment with your values. Here’s a peek at what we cover: 00:00 Guilt Is Good: Why Feeling Guilty Can Heal Relationships 01:54 The Guilt Cocktail: Empathy, Anxiety, and Self-Anger 08:24 Guilt vs. Shame: How to Tell the Difference 13:43 Turning Guilt Into Repair: Apology and Forgiveness 16:48 When You Can’t Fix It: Guilt, Grief, and Self-Forgiveness 23:27 Moral Injury, Trauma, and Survivor Guilt 28:37 Chronic Guilt: Why Women Feel It More 33:12 How to Reframe Guilt and Use It as a Guide 41:13 Guilt Means You Care If something in this conversation stirred your heart, maybe an old regret or a relationship you’d love to mend, you don’t have to sort through it alone. You can schedule a consultation with me or a member of my team at Growing Self. It’s a warm, private space to talk about what’s been weighing on you, get help managing guilt in a healthy way, and start moving forward with self-forgiveness and clarity. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

10 Marras 45min

Have you ever said yes when every part of you was quietly screaming no? Or pushed through your day on fumes, wondering where your energy went? We’ve all been there - doing a million things that look productive but leave us totally drained. In this episode, I’m talking with psychologist and author Dr. Diana Hill about how to reclaim your energy and focus by using them wisely. Diana’s new book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, is about learning to tell the difference between what fuels you and what quietly burns you out. We get into how to recognize “unwise effort” - those moments when you’re forcing, overdoing, or holding on too tight - and how to reconnect with your genius energy, that natural flow that feels effortless and alive. She also shares simple ways to check in with yourself: a 24-hour “regret scan” to see where your energy went off-track, and four questions to help you decide what’s actually worth your time, attention, and heart. It’s all about being intentional, not perfect, and remembering that the most powerful thing you can do is choose where your energy goes. As you listen, notice where your energy feels pulled, and what choices leave you feeling lighter, freer, more yourself. What are you still holding on to that’s quietly exhausting you? And what would it look like to let that go? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 What Is Wise Effort and Why Energy Matters 02:50 Three Patterns That Drain Your Energy 07:04 Finding Your Genius Energy 11:04 Regret as a Compass for Wise Energy 22:00 The Four-Question Filter for Wise Decisions 29:39 How Relationships Affect Your Energy 42:30 Reclaiming Energy and Focus Through Wise Effort If you’ve been feeling scattered or depleted, this may be your moment to pause and realign. Working with one of our expert therapists or coaches can help you understand where your energy and focus are going - and guide you toward choices that feel more grounded, intentional, and restorative. Schedule your free consultation to start creating the balance you’ve been craving. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

6 Marras 48min

Have you ever asked yourself, “When does ‘my money’ become ‘our money’?” It’s one of those questions couples don’t really face until tension starts to build. And by then, it’s rarely about the dollars. It’s about fairness, power, and feeling seen. In this episode, I’m joined by Heather and Douglas Boneparth, the power couple behind Bone Fide Wealth Management, and co-authors of their new book, Money Together: How to Find Fairness in Your Relationship and Become an Unstoppable Financial Team. We talk about what really happens when love meets money - the unspoken expectations, the invisible labor, and the stories we tell ourselves about who’s “earning” more or contributing “enough.” Heather and Douglas share their own wake-up moment during the pandemic, when their careers and family roles shifted and resentment started creeping in. We explore what it means to honor each other’s time as a form of currency, how to rebuild balance when things feel uneven, and why fairness doesn’t always mean splitting everything 50/50. As you listen, think about what fairness looks like in your relationship. How do you value each other’s time, effort, and care? And what might change if you started talking about money as a shared story instead of a scoreboard? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 When Does My Money Become Our Money? 01:03 Why Couples Fight About Money 08:39 Time Is a Currency 15:29 From “Me” to “We” 21:24 Mistakes vs. Missteps 23:56 Different Definitions of “Enough” 28:12 “My Money” vs. “Our Money” 39:09 Practical Playbook: Money Dates & Goal Alignment 44:45 Case Study: Inheritance & Grief 51:03 When to Seek Financial Therapy for Couples There's a ton of great information in this podcast AND it’s also true that talking about money and creating agreement in your financial relationship can be very tricky for many couples. You don't have to go it alone. One of the things my practice is known for is financial therapy for couples, specifically. If this is a current pain point in your relationship, I hope you get in touch with us and allow us to guide you through the process of creating alignment around all parts of your life, including financials. Here’s the link to learn more, and set up a free consultation. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

3 Marras 55min

How much of what you do every day is really your choice? The food you crave, the shows you watch, the moods you slip into - so much of it is quietly being shaped by invisible influences you probably never notice. In this episode, I talk with Dr. Tatyana El-Kour, a psychologist and registered dietitian who studies how media and technology shape our behavior. She shares how algorithms learn our emotional rhythms - what time of day we’re vulnerable, what kind of content keeps us scrolling - and use that data to steer our choices. We also explore something just as powerful: the invisible influence inside us. Your gut microbiome doesn’t just affect digestion. It can shape your emotions, focus, and even your resilience. This conversation left me thinking deeply about how easily we’re guided by forces we can’t see and how much freedom comes from noticing them. Once you recognize what’s pulling the strings, you can start reclaiming your power, one intentional choice at a time. As you listen, ask yourself: When do I feel most on autopilot? What’s really driving my decisions in those moments? And what would it look like to start choosing differently? Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Hidden Power of Invisible Influence 02:00 How Algorithms Shape Your Choices and Emotions 09:30 Emotional Tracking and Predictive Technology 13:30 When Digital Nudges Impact Health and Body Image 18:00 The Psychology Behind Algorithmic Addiction 29:00 Echo Chambers, Polarization, and Cognitive Rigidity 38:00 How to Recognize and Resist Invisible Influence 43:15 The Gut-Brain Connection and Emotional Resilience 55:00 Reclaiming Awareness and Agency If you’re curious about the invisible forces shaping your path, I made something to help you look beneath the surface. My What’s Holding You Back? Quiz is a short, thoughtful tool to help you see what might be standing between you and your next breakthrough. Think of it as a little mirror for your inner world - gentle, honest, and surprisingly clarifying. Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube. I share new insights (and sometimes a few behind-the-scenes thoughts) every week. And I’d really love to know what this episode stirred up for you. I always love hearing your takeaways so let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

30 Loka 59min

When trust is broken, everything changes. The person who once felt like your safest place can suddenly feel like a stranger, and finding your way back can feel impossible. In this episode, I’m joined by Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith, trained relationship specialists, speakers, and authors of Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time. After a devastating betrayal early in their marriage, they did the hard, courageous work of rebuilding honesty, safety, and connection - not just for themselves, but now for the couples they help heal. We talk about what partner betrayal trauma really looks like, why “just move on” never works, and what it actually takes to rebuild trust after betrayal. From understanding trauma’s impact on your nervous system to creating emotional safety and vulnerability again, this is an honest look at how love can truly recover and grow stronger on the other side. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal 01:30 Meet Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith 05:36 The Hidden Addiction and the Moment of Truth 16:20 Beginning the Recovery Journey 27:00 The Reality of Partner Betrayal Trauma 33:20 Why “Just Move On” Doesn’t Work 43:40 How Trauma Healing Actually Happens 49:20 The Blueprint for Rebuilding Trust 58:00 Finding Purpose and True Intimacy 01:00:45 Where to Find Support and Resources What would it mean to feel safe again in your body, in your relationship, or even within yourself? How do we begin to trust when trust has been broken? And if you’re the one who caused harm, how do you face that truth with compassion and courage instead of shame? If this conversation stirs something in you… maybe memories, questions, or a quiet hope that healing is possible… I have a free resource that can help you take the next step. My Communication That Connects Masterclass was designed to help you move beyond pain and misunderstanding, and start building the kind of emotional safety that real repair depends on.  Let’s stay connected - I share more insights, videos, and real talk about love and growth every week on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I’d also love to hear what resonated for you or what questions you’d like me to explore next. Let’s keep the conversation going - let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

27 Loka 1h 5min