#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

#81 - Is Social Media Making You Sad?

Is social media giving you social anxiety? You're not alone. Many people feel worse about themselves and their lives after logging into Facebook or Instagram. Engagement rings, new babies, new houses, envious vacations, and tales of spouses doing eye-mistingly touching things scroll up endlessly. You should be happy for your friends, right? That their lives are so wonderful and amazing is a glorious thing, right? But it still makes your stomach tighten into a fist as you think of your own diamond-less, baby-less life. You can't help but comparing your house to theirs, your vacation to theirs, and... worst of all... your partner to theirs. Like how he surprised her with five hundred cheerios arranged on the table to say, "I love you!" and a serenade of "You Are My Sunshine" by their three young children when she walked in for breakfast -- just because! Like how she orchestrated a multi-day treasure hunt involving GPS, clues handed by anonymous "strangers" and a midnight trip on a crosstown bus cumulating in the discovery of front row concert tickets for him to see his idol live on stage, only to be met there by the two best friends she'd arranged to fly in from each coast for the event. Like how your partner can't even be bothered to pick up a cheerio off the floor and couldn't pick your best friend out of a line up -- even if you could tear him away from the Xbox. In short: More people than you'd expect feel like taking a Xanax and / or fire-bombing their lives after a ten minute Facebook session. How do I know this? Because I am a therapist and life coach, and people tell me their secrets. My clients are some of the most poised, socially savvy, outwardly successful, wealthy, and gorgeous people you'll ever meet. But they don't feel that way when they are looking at Facebook. They feel like they are failing at life, and it makes them anxious as hell. (And that's not just my opinion: Research links the use of Facebook to increased feelings of depression). Even worse, their social media and the assumptions they make about others because of it can actually create more distance and separation in their lives. Feeling anxious and self-conscious about their own life and achievements pressures people into image management. Increasingly careful about what they share they start to feel more isolated instead of more connected. The net result? They feel anxious, dissatisfied with their lives, and lonely. (And like there is something terribly wrong with them because of this). As Brene Brown so beautifully outlined for the world in her TED Talk, "The Power of Vulnerability" shame leads us to hide, and disconnect in efforts to protect ourselves. The anxiety generating machine of Facebook then, ironically, becomes the antitheses of the connection it was intended to create. How to Feel More Connected, and Less Anxious About Social Media Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm sharing some insights with you that will help ease your anxiety over social media and restore the connection in your life. We'll be talking about a marvelous theory posed by Tim Urban in his blog "Wait But Why" about why social media makes people unhappy, as well as how the culture of curation is eroding authenticity and vulnerability. I'll be sharing a cautionary tale from my own life about the potential for tragedy from taking Facebook at face value. Lastly, I'll be sharing some actionable ideas that will help you stop judging your own life, and restore your bond to the people you care about. Ready to change your relationship with social media? You might also enjoy this article from the Huffington Post : 7 Types Of People You Should Unfriend On Facebook ASAP Listen now: Is Social Media Making You Sad? (Episode 64 of the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast) Music Credits: Public Image, LTD, "Public Image" (And while you're there, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast and leave a review -- your support means the world to me!) Now, let's get real. In the podcast, in the spirit of "radical authenticity" I shared a story about how a close friend and I became disconnected from each other during a time that we really needed each other because of the pitfalls of social media. Has there been a time in your life that social media got in the way of your connection, or made you feel "less than?" If so please share in the comments at this link: http://www.growingself.com/is-social-media-making-you-sad/ It will help others feel less alone. xo, Lisa http://www.growingself.com

Jaksot(469)

#183 - How to Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals

#183 - How to Achieve Your Most Ambitious Goals

If you started the new year with ambitious goals and aspirations that are already on life-support, or have been abandoned altogether: CONGRATULATIONS. Only now do you have the real-world information you need to reassess your situation, gain more clarity, and tweak your approach. To help you figure out how to achieve your most ambitious goals for real, I've invited master life coach Laurie Gerber of The Handel Group to share her tips for how to use setbacks to understand yourself more deeply, and shine a spotlight on the mental, emotional and practical strategies that will help you achieve your most ambitious goals. Listen and learn: How creating multidimensional, holistic self-awareness can help you uncover blindspots that could otherwise become obstacles. Why the obvious path to change is often not effective (and what often unseen things actually are) How to get your thoughts, feelings and behavior into alignment Different ways of thinking that will help you stay motivated over the long haul I hope that this conversation helps YOU dig deeper, get into alignment, and get clarity about where to refocus your energy. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: We discussed a number of resources in this episode. One of them is our free Ten Year Plan exercise. If you haven't done this yet, here's the link to get the pdf or access to the online version.

3 Helmi 20201h 2min

#182 - The Path to Wellness

#182 - The Path to Wellness

The path to wellness can be a long and challenging one if you're dealing with a chronic health condition... particularly one that does not have an obvious cause or simple solution. Dealing with these kinds of health issues requires an enormous amount of strength, courage, and persistence — all of which can be hard to come by when you're at a low point, physically. If you or someone you love is going through this, help is here. My colleague at Growing Self, Amy-Noelle Shih, M.A., LPC is a holistic, empowering therapist and life coach who specializes in supporting people on their journey back to health, and is sharing her empowering advice with you on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. All for you... Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

27 Tammi 20201h 7min

#181 - Develop a Healthy Money Mindset

#181 - Develop a Healthy Money Mindset

How would you describe your relationship... with money? Secure? Anxious? Toxic? Neglected? Or... Easy? We all carry subconscious thoughts, feelings and values around money that impact our way of relating to it. Financial therapy helps you uncover these powerful inner forces, so that you can create a healthy money mindset so that you can feel empowered and in control of your finances. Financial therapy for couples helps you stop the "money fights" and get on the same page with your partner around money. Today's guest, financial therapist Jennifer Dunkle, is here to explain how YOU can develop a healthy money mindset — both individually, and as a couple — so that you can achieve your financial goals.

20 Tammi 20201h 7min

#180 - The Power of Connection

#180 - The Power of Connection

Human beings are built to bond — but we can also develop powerful bonds to unhelpful behaviors, toxic people, and even substances of abuse.  Understanding the power of connection can help you break unhealthy attachments, and cultivate empowering, energizing new ones.  Here's how... Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

13 Tammi 20201h 16min

#179 - Relationship Advice From a Divorce Lawyer

#179 - Relationship Advice From a Divorce Lawyer

On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I have a special gift for both premarital couples AND couples on the brink of divorce: A special interview with Jim Sexton, author of "How to Stay in Love." Jim has a unique perspective — he has spent years working as a divorce lawyer and has sat with countless couples who are in the process of ending their marriage. Through these experiences he gained insight into the biggest mistakes couples can make,the most important things you can do to prevent a divorce, and key things that couples can do to keep their relationship healthy and strong. I hope this episode helps you understand your marriage in a new way, and provides some direction for how to repair your bond if things have been feeling hard lately. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

6 Tammi 20201h 7min

#178 - How to Create Your Ten Year Plan

#178 - How to Create Your Ten Year Plan

It's a brand new DECADE! To celebrate, we're doing something special in this episode: I'm going to walk you, step by step, through a "growth experience" that will help you create your very own Ten Year Plan so that you have clarity about where you want to be (and how to get there!) over the next ten years. To help you get the most out of this, I've created some free resources to assist you: Text 10YPlan to 33777 OR visit GrowingSelf.com/My-Ten-Year-Plan to get access to my (totally free) Online 10 Year Planning Tool and / or printable pdf.  Then, together, we'll walk through this powerful activity together. By the end you'll have new self-awareness, clarity about what you want, but, most importantly, knowledge about specifically what you need to do (and not do!) to achieve your ideal reality 10 years from now. Let's do this! And HAPPY NEW YEAR! Your partner in growth, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

31 Joulu 201932min

#177 - Design Your Life Around What Matters MOST

#177 - Design Your Life Around What Matters MOST

It's so easy — especially for smart, determined, proactive and successful people — to spend a lot (a LOT) of time and energy pursuing goals that, at the end of the day, are not actually the most important or meaningful ones to them. Sounds crazy, but it's true: We're all vulnerable to absorbing messages from our families, social media, our culture, and certainly the combined efforts of many savvy marketers about what we should want. About who we should be. About what we should do with our lives. You Are The Author of Your Own Life Story At the end of the day, buying in to someone else's hopes and dreams for your life can lead you down the wrong path. Even if you — by virtue of your intelligence, determination, and hard work — are successful in creating all of it and achieving the ideals that you were handed, they will still feel hollow to you. Because they were never genuinely meaningful and important to YOU. And you will have spent so much of your precious time, energy, love, and devotion to achieving goals that — at the end of the day — could have been spent creating the life and reality that was your heart's desire. You deserve better. You deserve to own your own goals and create a destiny that will lead to your heart overflowing with authentic happiness and gratitude. You deserve, at the very end of your precious life, to have zero regrets.You deserve to feel pride and appreciation for what you have created, and what will last long after your time on this earth has passed. How to Design Your Life Around What Matters Most To help you create this reality — the clear-eyed pursuit and attainment of the goals that are actually the most important and precious to YOU — I have a very special gift for you. On the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I had the honor and pleasure of interviewing a very wise and insightful man, author Chris Meyer. Chris has a fascinating story: He spent many years as the director of a funeral home. (Stay with me here!) Over the years, he sat with many families as they planned their final goodbyes. He sat with people who were dying, and grieving families, and heard their stories — their gratitude, and their regrets, and the profound insights into what really mattered.... from the perspective of looking back on their lives. Today, he is here to share these insights directly with YOU. He is bringing you the messages from people at the end, so that YOU can design your life with intention, clarity and love, and maintain you focus on what really matters most to you. It's a heartfelt gift for you, on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. I sincerely hope that it helps you get clarity and self-awareness for how you'd like to design YOUR life as we enter into a new decade, together. With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

24 Joulu 20191h 13min

#176 - How to Not Be a Dick

#176 - How to Not Be a Dick

Let's face it: We all have moments. Moments when we feel (justifiably!) angry or frustrated with other people, and moments when we lose our cool. While everyone is in agreement that there is a time and place for healthy anger, sometimes the lines can get blurred around when you're setting appropriate limits.... and when you're probably being unnecessarily aggressive about making your feelings known. How do we find that balance? The balance between not being a pushover and having a right to your feelings, but also having compassion for other people? Especially (here's the hard part) other people who may not be behaving well themselves. It's challenging for all of us. (#lifegoals!) The easy thing to do in the face of conflict is to lash out in anger, push people away,  or freeze people out. It's much harder to stay in the ring and find a path of mutual understanding and repair. On the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I had the great pleasure of speaking with NYC-based psychoanalyst Dr. Mark Borg about this subject, and his insights into how to lead a more compassionate life. Dr. Borg is the author of the book, "Don't Be a Dick: Change Yourself, Change Your World" and he shared thoughtful strategies for how to: Gain the authentic self-awareness necessary to catch yourself when you're slipping into unnecessary "dickishness" How to handle challenging interpersonal situations with grace and tact The mindset that will help you stay compassionate with people who are not behaving well Strategies to handle extremely triggering situations with your family around the holidays (without getting sucked into conflict) How to use the power of empathy for yourself, and others, in order to make the world a better place I hope this perspective and advice helps you and the people you love. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

16 Joulu 20191h 3min

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