#93 - Relationship Compatibility: Finding Your Soulmate

#93 - Relationship Compatibility: Finding Your Soulmate

Am I in the "right" relationship? How do I find my soulmate? Are we truly compatible? Many people show up for dating coaching, life coaching or even marriage counseling with a lot of angst around these unanswered questions. People who are dating can wonder if they've found "the one." Premarital couples sometimes worry whether they're compatible enough to get married. And even married or long time partnered people can wonder if their relationship issues are due to their being too different. (Or having "perpetual problems" as marriage and family researcher Dr. John Gottman likes to call it). I'm simply glad that people are asking these kinds of relationship questions. After all, who you choose to marry is going to have a greater impact on the quality of your life and your long term happiness than just about anything else. And it's also true that everyone is a mixed bag, with aspects to them that are both delightful and frustrating as all get out. So how do you determine what is a relationship red flag, or sign that you're fundamentally incompatible? How to you figure out what differences are okay? When do opposites not just attract, but actually strengthen a partnership? When can you have big differences, and yet still be highly compatible soul mates? The answers might surprise you! On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm going to talk through all these questions with you. To do this though, I need to wear three hats. Relationship Compatibility in Marriage First, I'm going to put on my marriage counselor cape hat and talk about the most common culprits that make married couples wonder if they are compatible or not. Listen and learn what (frustrating!) differences might actually be strengths for your relationship, and what differences are harder to overcome. I'll also give you tips for how to build bridges to the center, and appreciate each other for who you are. Want to see an example of this in action? Check out my recent post: "How Jenny and Greg Fixed Their Relationship." Finding Your Soulmate Next I'm putting on my dating coach wizard hat to talk about the serious business of finding your soul mate. Dating is all about "auditioning" people and getting to know them over time. I'll share the down low on the biggest mistake I see dating people make, and how it can impair their ability to find a true soul mate. If you are on the dating market, I'll help you understand what's important to look for in a potential partner, and what is NOT as important when you're looking for love. I'm also sharing some practical steps you can take to make sure that you're finding a good match in terms of both character and chemistry. For Premarital Couples Lastly, I'm sharing my advice as a premarital counselor. If you're planning a wedding with some lingering questions on your mind, you'll want to check out the case example I shared about what it looks like when someone is NOT asking the right questions leading up to marriage. The best time to prevent potential pitfalls is before the wedding. It's essential to have serious conversations about your personalities, hopes and dreams, and expectations prior to the "I Do's." Why? First of all, it's enormously helpful to get on the same page and identify potential problems before you're married. But an even bigger reason? Because the one of the most serious red flags for a relationship is not being able to talk through important things respectfully. If you are literally not able to have "Who are we, what do we each want, and how are we going to get on the same page?" conversations together, you might want to slow down. Relationship Compatibility Test One of the resources I talked through on the show is Dr. Helen Fisher's personality test. If you would like to take it for yourself (and / or ask your partner to) you can find it here: http://bit.ly/2cOmEX6. For more information about the ideas behind Dr. Fisher's compatibility quiz and how they impact people in relationships, I highly recommend her book, "Why Him, Why Her." With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Jaksot(468)

#303 - Personality Type Compatibility in Relationships

#303 - Personality Type Compatibility in Relationships

Are we a good fit? Do we have enough in common? Is my partner really “The One?”  Personality type compatibility in relationships isn’t about being alike or agreeing on everything — it’s about learning to understand your differences and use them for the benefit of each other and the relationship.  In today's episode, you’ll learn all about what really makes a couple compatible, and how you can harness your differences for a stronger relationship. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

27 Kesä 202257min

#302 - Feeling Lonely In a Relationship? How to Reconnect.

#302 - Feeling Lonely In a Relationship? How to Reconnect.

We all dream of having a close, connected relationship that fulfills us on every level. If you're feeling lonely in a relationship, it hurts. It can be hard to know how to reconnect, especially if the distance has been growing for a while — or if negativity has crept in. Deep connection is created through the intentional cultivation of emotional intimacy. In this episode, we’re exploring how to do that, so you can create the loving, satisfying relationship you want and deserve. With love to you both,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

20 Kesä 202246min

#301 - Dealing With Control Freaks

#301 - Dealing With Control Freaks

Dealing with control freaks is aggravating, but when you know what’s behind it, it’s easier to have understanding and empathy for them — and also create healthier boundaries for yourself.  In this episode, you'll learn all about the psychology of the control freak: What drives their behavior, and how you can maintain a relationship with the control freak(s) in your life while still being authentically yourself. xo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

13 Kesä 202256min

#300 - Us: Getting Past You and Me

#300 - Us: Getting Past You and Me

Our relationships are priceless. They can’t be bought, they can only be built. Without them, our lives would be empty.  But all of that is easy to forget when you’re in the midst of a furious argument with your partner, or anyone you love. When we’re emotionally elevated, we say and do things that damage our connections with others. But it doesn’t have to be that way — conflict can be an opportunity for deeper connection and better relationships.  On today’s episode, internationally recognized marriage counselor and author Terry Real shares how to get past "you and me" to build your "we." Tune in for advice on shedding the individualist mindset and bringing more love into your life. Made with love, for you! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

6 Kesä 202250min

#299 - Life After Loss

#299 - Life After Loss

On today’s episode we’re discussing the unwelcome territory we all have to navigate eventually: life after loss.  Whether you’ve lost a loved one, a dream, a job, or a relationship, adjusting to your new reality requires a grieving process. Giving yourself permission to fully mourn heals you, and fosters new growth too. In this episode, I'm speaking with two expert grief counselors about coping with grief and loss, finding peace, and moving forward when it feels like you can’t. If you've experienced a loss, I'm sorry... and this one is for you. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

30 Touko 20221h 1min

#298 - Can You Be Friends With Your Ex?

#298 - Can You Be Friends With Your Ex?

Should you be friends with your ex? After a divorce or breakup, being friends with an ex can seem appealing, especially if you're co-parenting. Making the transition from partners to pals is possible. But without radical self-honesty and clear intentions, it can be challenging — and may even create new problems. Can you be friends with your ex? If so, how do you go about this transition in a healthy way? That's what we're exploring, in this episode. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

23 Touko 202252min

#297 - Why Relationships Fail

#297 - Why Relationships Fail

Every committed couple begins with the best of intentions, believing they’ll love each other forever. But we all know it doesn’t always work out that way. The truth is that people often accidentally damage their relationships beyond the point of repair... without even realizing it.  Today, we’re talking about the real, hidden reasons why relationships fail, so you can take positive action now to keep yours healthy and strong.  With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

16 Touko 20221h 18min

#296 - Attachment Styles in Relationships

#296 - Attachment Styles in Relationships

Why do we react the way we do? Attachment styles in relationships are a powerful force. Understanding your attachment style, as well as that of your partner, can help you create a more compassionate partnership. In this episode, you'll learn about attachment patterns, identify yours and your partner's, and how to develop healthy and secure relationship systems. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

9 Touko 202255min

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