#93 - Relationship Compatibility: Finding Your Soulmate

#93 - Relationship Compatibility: Finding Your Soulmate

Am I in the "right" relationship? How do I find my soulmate? Are we truly compatible? Many people show up for dating coaching, life coaching or even marriage counseling with a lot of angst around these unanswered questions. People who are dating can wonder if they've found "the one." Premarital couples sometimes worry whether they're compatible enough to get married. And even married or long time partnered people can wonder if their relationship issues are due to their being too different. (Or having "perpetual problems" as marriage and family researcher Dr. John Gottman likes to call it). I'm simply glad that people are asking these kinds of relationship questions. After all, who you choose to marry is going to have a greater impact on the quality of your life and your long term happiness than just about anything else. And it's also true that everyone is a mixed bag, with aspects to them that are both delightful and frustrating as all get out. So how do you determine what is a relationship red flag, or sign that you're fundamentally incompatible? How to you figure out what differences are okay? When do opposites not just attract, but actually strengthen a partnership? When can you have big differences, and yet still be highly compatible soul mates? The answers might surprise you! On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm going to talk through all these questions with you. To do this though, I need to wear three hats. Relationship Compatibility in Marriage First, I'm going to put on my marriage counselor cape hat and talk about the most common culprits that make married couples wonder if they are compatible or not. Listen and learn what (frustrating!) differences might actually be strengths for your relationship, and what differences are harder to overcome. I'll also give you tips for how to build bridges to the center, and appreciate each other for who you are. Want to see an example of this in action? Check out my recent post: "How Jenny and Greg Fixed Their Relationship." Finding Your Soulmate Next I'm putting on my dating coach wizard hat to talk about the serious business of finding your soul mate. Dating is all about "auditioning" people and getting to know them over time. I'll share the down low on the biggest mistake I see dating people make, and how it can impair their ability to find a true soul mate. If you are on the dating market, I'll help you understand what's important to look for in a potential partner, and what is NOT as important when you're looking for love. I'm also sharing some practical steps you can take to make sure that you're finding a good match in terms of both character and chemistry. For Premarital Couples Lastly, I'm sharing my advice as a premarital counselor. If you're planning a wedding with some lingering questions on your mind, you'll want to check out the case example I shared about what it looks like when someone is NOT asking the right questions leading up to marriage. The best time to prevent potential pitfalls is before the wedding. It's essential to have serious conversations about your personalities, hopes and dreams, and expectations prior to the "I Do's." Why? First of all, it's enormously helpful to get on the same page and identify potential problems before you're married. But an even bigger reason? Because the one of the most serious red flags for a relationship is not being able to talk through important things respectfully. If you are literally not able to have "Who are we, what do we each want, and how are we going to get on the same page?" conversations together, you might want to slow down. Relationship Compatibility Test One of the resources I talked through on the show is Dr. Helen Fisher's personality test. If you would like to take it for yourself (and / or ask your partner to) you can find it here: http://bit.ly/2cOmEX6. For more information about the ideas behind Dr. Fisher's compatibility quiz and how they impact people in relationships, I highly recommend her book, "Why Him, Why Her." With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Jaksot(468)

#271 - Emotional Flooding

#271 - Emotional Flooding

Have you ever wondered why you lose it sometimes, and say things you regret later? Or why you get to a certain point where you just cannot talk anymore, and shut down? These are both examples of emotional flooding: Lashing out and withdrawing are two sides of the same coin. Both can be disastrous for your relationship. On today’s episode we’re talking about the reality of emotional flooding, and how to manage it effectively when you’re “coming in hot.”  Join me! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

8 Marras 202158min

#270 - How to Stop Emotional Invalidation

#270 - How to Stop Emotional Invalidation

Feeling invalidated is at the core of communication issues. When couples fight, they're usually fighting to be heard. Feeling shut down, or bulldozed by your partner is not just frustrating — if it happens routinely it can damage your relationship. Today, learn why emotional invalidation happens and what you can do to stop it. By the end of the episode, you’ll have some actionable takeaways to help you feel heard, valued, and understood. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

1 Marras 20211h 9min

#269 - The Devil Inside: Self-Limiting Beliefs

#269 - The Devil Inside: Self-Limiting Beliefs

What you believe about yourself holds so much power. You have the power to create a really wonderful life for yourself. Or, you can be tricked into believing the devil inside: Your self-limiting beliefs. Self-limiting beliefs are so dangerous because they often masquerade as "truth." But buying into them only creates pain, and damages your self-esteem, your career, and your relationships. On this episode of the podcast, I'm teaching you how to identify your limiting beliefs and overcome them, so you can get back in control.  Happy Halloween!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

25 Loka 20211h

#268 - Mind Body Connection

#268 - Mind Body Connection

Your mind-body connection is powerful. Sometimes the most direct path to improving your emotional wellbeing isn't through therapy — it’s through lifestyle changes. Other times your physical health suffers because of the way you’re thinking or feeling. The way you think, feel emotionally, and your physical wellness are all interconnected.  Tune in today to gain insight into your mind-body connection, and get actionable strategies to support every aspect of your wellness. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

18 Loka 202152min

#267 - How to Appreciate The Partner You Have

#267 - How to Appreciate The Partner You Have

It's great to work on your relationship, but sometimes people can get so over-focused on relationship problems they stop appreciating their partner’s positive qualities... to the detriment of the dynamic. In contrast, feeling love and appreciation for your partner — as they are — is the royal road to growth and happiness for both of you.  When do you advocate for change? When do you lean into “appreciative acceptance?” That’s what we’re discussing on today’s episode!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

11 Loka 202151min

#266 - Love Your Body

#266 - Love Your Body

How to love your body? Although your body is a miraculous engine of life that supports everything you do, it’s easy to get judgy about the way your body looks. Or whether or not it’s as “good” or worthy of love as someone else’s body.  These unhelpful ideas crush your self-esteem, and can lead to truly unhealthy diet and exercise habits.  Let’s all stop. Today, learn how to stop feeling bad about your body, and start moving towards self-compassion, appreciation for your body, and health at any size.  Join me! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

4 Loka 202145min

#265 - How to Deal With Stress at Work

#265 - How to Deal With Stress at Work

Dealing with stress at work? Whether you’re working from home or back in the office, burnout and career ambivalence are rampant right now. Help is here: On today's episode I’m visiting with an expert career coach who can help you advocate for yourself, set healthy boundaries on the job, manage work related stress and anxiety, make empowered career decisions, and, if you’re an employer, learn how to keep your people happy and healthy.  All for you!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

27 Syys 202156min

#264 How Do You Get Over Your Ex? Psychology-Backed Strategies That Work

#264 How Do You Get Over Your Ex? Psychology-Backed Strategies That Work

Still stuck on your ex? Like, no matter what you do — they’re still there — in your head, in your heart, maybe even in your dreams? I see you. And more importantly, I understand why. In this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I’m getting real about something that so many people secretly struggle with: how do you get over your ex when it feels absolutely impossible to let go. Whether your breakup was recent or it’s been way too long and you're still stuck, this episode will help you understand what's really happening in your brain, your body, and your heart — and what to do about it. From the neuroscience of love and loss, to the emotional addiction that keeps you craving contact, I’m diving into the real reasons it’s hard to move on — and the powerful, research-backed steps you can take to finally feel free. Timestamps: 00:00 - How to Get Over Your Ex 05:05 - Understanding the Obsessive Phenomenon 06:55 - Biological Basis of Love and Addiction 11:26 - The Psychological and Emotional Basis of Obsession 13:35 - Accepting the End of a Relationship 21:06 - Strategies to Let Go and Move On 27:01 - Mindfulness and Thought Replacement Techniques 30:16 - Heal from Heartbreak If you resonated with this podcast episode, that tells me something important: You’re not just hurting — you’re trying. You’re searching for answers, hoping for relief, and longing for a way to finally stop feeling so consumed by the past. You’re already on the path forward — even if it doesn’t feel like it yet. Healing doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when you start making intentional choices — to understand yourself more deeply, to process what happened, and to take meaningful steps toward letting go. That might sound like a tall order right now, but the first step is easier than you think. 👉 Start by taking my Heartbreak Recovery Quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You?This quiz is a research-informed tool that will show you exactly where you are in your healing process and what you need to do next. Whether you're stuck in obsessive thoughts, overwhelmed with grief, or just beginning to feel ready to move on, your quiz results will give you clarity and direction.  👉 If you’re ready to talk to someone who truly gets it, schedule a free consultation with a coach on our team. Sometimes you just need a safe space to say what’s on your heart — especially when friends are tired of hearing about your ex. At Growing Self, our breakup recovery coaches are licensed therapists who specialize in helping people heal from heartbreak. We know how to guide you from this place of pain into the peace and self-confidence you deserve.  You can do this— and your next chapter starts now.  Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If you know someone who is struggling to move on, I invite you to share this episode with them to remind them that they’re not alone and healing is possible.

20 Syys 202134min

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