#93 - Relationship Compatibility: Finding Your Soulmate

#93 - Relationship Compatibility: Finding Your Soulmate

Am I in the "right" relationship? How do I find my soulmate? Are we truly compatible? Many people show up for dating coaching, life coaching or even marriage counseling with a lot of angst around these unanswered questions. People who are dating can wonder if they've found "the one." Premarital couples sometimes worry whether they're compatible enough to get married. And even married or long time partnered people can wonder if their relationship issues are due to their being too different. (Or having "perpetual problems" as marriage and family researcher Dr. John Gottman likes to call it). I'm simply glad that people are asking these kinds of relationship questions. After all, who you choose to marry is going to have a greater impact on the quality of your life and your long term happiness than just about anything else. And it's also true that everyone is a mixed bag, with aspects to them that are both delightful and frustrating as all get out. So how do you determine what is a relationship red flag, or sign that you're fundamentally incompatible? How to you figure out what differences are okay? When do opposites not just attract, but actually strengthen a partnership? When can you have big differences, and yet still be highly compatible soul mates? The answers might surprise you! On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm going to talk through all these questions with you. To do this though, I need to wear three hats. Relationship Compatibility in Marriage First, I'm going to put on my marriage counselor cape hat and talk about the most common culprits that make married couples wonder if they are compatible or not. Listen and learn what (frustrating!) differences might actually be strengths for your relationship, and what differences are harder to overcome. I'll also give you tips for how to build bridges to the center, and appreciate each other for who you are. Want to see an example of this in action? Check out my recent post: "How Jenny and Greg Fixed Their Relationship." Finding Your Soulmate Next I'm putting on my dating coach wizard hat to talk about the serious business of finding your soul mate. Dating is all about "auditioning" people and getting to know them over time. I'll share the down low on the biggest mistake I see dating people make, and how it can impair their ability to find a true soul mate. If you are on the dating market, I'll help you understand what's important to look for in a potential partner, and what is NOT as important when you're looking for love. I'm also sharing some practical steps you can take to make sure that you're finding a good match in terms of both character and chemistry. For Premarital Couples Lastly, I'm sharing my advice as a premarital counselor. If you're planning a wedding with some lingering questions on your mind, you'll want to check out the case example I shared about what it looks like when someone is NOT asking the right questions leading up to marriage. The best time to prevent potential pitfalls is before the wedding. It's essential to have serious conversations about your personalities, hopes and dreams, and expectations prior to the "I Do's." Why? First of all, it's enormously helpful to get on the same page and identify potential problems before you're married. But an even bigger reason? Because the one of the most serious red flags for a relationship is not being able to talk through important things respectfully. If you are literally not able to have "Who are we, what do we each want, and how are we going to get on the same page?" conversations together, you might want to slow down. Relationship Compatibility Test One of the resources I talked through on the show is Dr. Helen Fisher's personality test. If you would like to take it for yourself (and / or ask your partner to) you can find it here: http://bit.ly/2cOmEX6. For more information about the ideas behind Dr. Fisher's compatibility quiz and how they impact people in relationships, I highly recommend her book, "Why Him, Why Her." With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

Jaksot(467)

#42 - Stop Anxiety. Right Now.

#42 - Stop Anxiety. Right Now.

Ahhh Anxiety. The sleepless nights. The pit in your stomach. The worries, ever swirling. Anxiety is the experience of being traumatized by bad things happening… before they actually happen.On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'm going to teach you how to stop mentally time traveling into DOOM, and restore your sense of inner peace. First, I'll help you understand what anxiety is, and the mind-body connection that keeps you trapped in it's clutches. Then, I'll be teaching you my four favorite techniques for stopping it. They're all mindfulness based, and in my experience very effective. They work for my clients, and they work for me. I have every confidence that they'll help you, too. Key Points: 1) Anxiety = A Time Traveling Mind 2) The Mind-Body Connection, and Cycle of Fear 3) Anchor Yourself in The Present 4) Define the Explosion 5) Solve Solvable Problems 6) Relax Your Body, to Relax Your Mind

15 Kesä 201429min

#41 - 3 Essential Ingredients For a Great Marriage

#41 - 3 Essential Ingredients For a Great Marriage

Getting married is not about the ring or the clothes or the party. All that fades away. I can barely remember my own wedding. But the connection, love, and friendship I have with my husband is priceless beyond measure. My marriage is the foundation of my entire life. You deserve to have this too. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'll be sharing the three essential ingredients you need to create a lifetime of happiness together.  Listen now...

2 Kesä 201427min

#40 - Loose the Blues

#40 - Loose the Blues

Call it a funk, a rut, a rough-patch — there are just times when you just don’t feel like yourself. We all go through it. Maybe you’re more tired than usual, or crankier. Maybe you’re buzzing through your days with a low-grade ball of anxiety in the pit of your stomach, or feeling more negative and down on yourself than usual. Maybe you’re feeling more sensitive to slights, or feeling lonely — even when you're around people. You're not "Depressed with a capital D" but you just don't feel great.  What to do? How do you start to shake off the “Yuck” and reconnect with your sense of wellbeing? On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'll teach you how to "Loose the Blues." Listen Now:

25 Touko 201421min

#39 - Considering Divorce? Or Is There Still Hope?

#39 - Considering Divorce? Or Is There Still Hope?

Having ambivalence about your relationship sometimes is completely normal.  You have a fight. Maybe a few fights. You go through a period where you both feel disconnected. Kids, jobs, cleaning bathrooms, the dandelions in the front lawn -- virtually everything seems like it's more of a priority than your marriage.  All relationships have ebbs and flows. Disconnection and reconnection is simply the experience of being in a long term relationship. But sometimes ... it is hard to reconnect. Particularly if toxic negativity begins to color your interactions. When attachment stretches thin and you can't remember the last time you laughed together, it's normal to wonder if you ever will again. When negative experiences with your partner start to outnumber the good ones, it's normal to wonder if you've arrived at the "end of the line."  Is Divorce the Solution?  Not necessarily. Feeling upset and scared about your marriage are exactly the feelings that prompt couples to start marriage counseling. Being unhappy with the situation creates the motivation that you need to do the difficult work of growing back together again. And in my experience, when couples have a will to repair the relationship there is always a way. But sometimes, people begin to fantasize about divorce. They don't know how to resolve their relationship problems, and divorcing feels like the only solution. When divorce starts to feel like the glowing, open door to freedom and happiness -- your relationship is in trouble. And of course, I understand there are situations where you may not have a choice: Your partner unilaterally moves towards the door, or perhaps there are such unhealthy and toxic things going on in a marriage that divorcing is genuinely the only reasonable option.  Let's Get Real. If you are toeing up to the edge of this precipice, or perhaps already starting to go through the searing process of taking a marriage apart: This podcast is for you.  On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with Pro Divorce Mediator Denisa Tova about things to think about if you're on the fence about divorcing, and also practical strategies for creating the best possible outcomes if you decide to move forward with divorce. Main Points: 1) How to tell the difference between "solvable problems" between you and your partner, and situations where divorce is really the best choice. 2) The mindset you need to foster to create a healthy divorce experience. 3) Practical strategies for how to have a civilized, collaborative divorce instead of an ugly, angry one.  Listen Now:

19 Touko 201444min

#38 - Does Everyone Think You're Amazing... Except You?

#38 - Does Everyone Think You're Amazing... Except You?

Are you a superstar in the eyes of others? Do you work hard, do amazing things, and seem to have it all?  And yet.... walk daily with this gnawing sense that you are failing?  You just want to be happy. You hope that the "next thing" will bring happiness. But it always feels like you’re not doing enough, you’ve missed an opportunity, or that you're not achieving your goals. All your successes are not enough to prop up your self-esteem. You may even worry that these "failures" are due to your own short comings.  Here's the deal: Ambition is widely regarded as being a positive force in our lives. But ambition becomes a problem when it is rooted in fear, and a belief that links happiness to achievement. On today's edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I'll help you understand how to get off the never-ending treadmill of "More" -- and start appreciating how amazing you actually are. Listen Now. (Music Credits: “The Gummi Bears of Failure," by Paneye.)

12 Touko 201435min

#37 - Mindfulness, For People Who Hate To Meditate

#37 - Mindfulness, For People Who Hate To Meditate

Do you hate to meditate? Does the idea of sitting on a little pillow with your eyes shut, sweeping stray thoughts out of your head over and over again, make you feel antsy?  Me too.  And yet, Mindfulness - the art of being present -- is the key to a happy and healthy life.  You don't have to meditate in order to practice mindfulness.  In fact, you can be more connected with the present moment all of the time. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm teaching you how! You'll learn easy, concrete tools to be more mindful. You'll also learn how to use the skill of mindfulness to feel more calm, happier, more productive, and have better relationships with others. And if your busy mind is keeping you awake, be sure to download the Free Bonus Sleeping Meditations I mentioned on the show, at www.drlisabobby.com/sleep. ---- Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a Marriage Counselor, Life Coach and Psychologist. Learn more about her private practice at www.growingself.com, and follow her blog at www.drlisabobby.com.

5 Touko 201443min

#36 - Fall Asleep, Stay Asleep

#36 - Fall Asleep, Stay Asleep

Few things are more frustrating than being exhausted, but unable to sleep. And it's hard to be happy when sleep is a stranger. Not getting enough sleep makes it hard to  think straight. It makes us irritable and more prone to anxiety and depression. Sleep is kind of a big deal. So on this this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we're going to tackle insomnia and wrestle it into unconsciousness. You'll learn everything you need to know about how to get more sleep and better sleep. I'll teach you easy Cognitive-Behavioral tricks you can use to fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer, and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to go.  I've even created some special bonus items for you. Once you're done learning about how to Fall Asleep and Stay Asleep, you can go to my website: www.drlisabobby.com/sleep to download some free relaxation recordings I made just for you. Think of them as an "auditory sleeping pill." Just don't listen while operating heavy machinery! :) -- Lisa

28 Huhti 201445min

#35 - Finding Common Ground

#35 - Finding Common Ground

Have you ever worried that you and your partner are just too different?  If so, you're not alone. In fact, all couples need to find common ground around their differences. It's simply the relationship experience: We're not married to ourselves. We're with someone who is a unique individual with their own needs, feelings, hopes and dreams -- many of which may be different from our own.  That's not just okay, it's completely normal. Where couples run into trouble is when they get "polarized," or entrenched in extreme positions on an issue. Things become black and white, and power struggles or arguments ensue.  On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'll be showing you the way back to connection.

21 Huhti 20141h 4min

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