#294 - Change Your Story, Change Your Life

Let’s be real: you’re not just “going through a breakup” — you’re surviving a full-on emotional earthquake. Your appetite’s gone, your brain is a 24/7 rerun of “Why did they leave?”, and you may or may not be having one-way convos with your ex in the shower. (Again: no judgment.) In this episode, I’m walking you through how to recover from a breakup in a way that’s grounded, healthy, and actually works. As a therapist, marriage counselor, and coach, I’ve supported thousands of people through this. But I’ve also been through it myself. And I want you to know this: you’re not crazy. You’re not broken. You’re heartbroken. And there’s a way forward that doesn’t involve self-blame, emotional spirals, or texting your ex “just to check in.” Let’s talk about why breakups hit us so hard, the science behind love and loss, and what you can actually do to start feeling like yourself again. Timestamps: 00:00 – Understanding Breakups and Recovery 02:11 – You’re Not the Only One 11:38 – Love Is a Drug (Literally) 25:13 – What Actually Helps You Heal 28:39 – Don’t Do This Alone 31:53 – Embracing Grief and Healing 36:38 – Heartbreak Recovery Breakup recovery is never a straight line. This kind of pain runs deep because love runs deep. But that also means your capacity for healing—and even for joy—is just as deep. If you’re wondering what your next step should be, you don’t have to guess. You can take the guesswork out of your healing journey with a simple, free tool we created for exactly this moment. 👉 Take the “How Over Your Ex Are You?” Breakup Quiz. In just a few minutes, you’ll get a clear picture of where you are in the healing process—and, more importantly, what to do next. Whether you're still in the raw withdrawal phase or teetering on the edge of freedom, this quiz will point you in the right direction with clarity and compassion. And if after reading this, you’re thinking, “I just need someone to talk to—someone who gets it and knows how to help,”we’ve got you. Our team of expert breakup recovery coaches—who are also licensed therapists—specialize in helping people just like you move through the pain, confusion, and obsession... and come out stronger on the other side. 👉 Schedule a free consultation to talk with an expert on our team. Your story isn’t over. In fact, this is the beginning of the most powerful chapter yet. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. If someone you love is hurting right now — maybe a friend, sister, or your group chat buddy who’s just been ghosted — please forward this to them. We all need a little extra support sometimes, and this might be the exact message they need to hear today.

6 Loka 201541min

Help For Your Relationship I've spent a decade as a Denver marriage counselor -- and I've been married for nearly twenty years myself. I've learned a thing or two about relationships, along the way. I frequently have people email me with various relationship dilemmas, and I've had listeners of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast from all over the world get in touch with me regarding their relationship questions. I thought I'd address a few of them on today's podcast. Advice From A Marriage Counselor: Your Relationship Questions, Answered. "How do I bring up delicate topics with my partner? (Like their bad breath, or their weight?)" "What do I do if I don't like my partner's friends?" "How important is it for me to feel 'butterflies' for my partner? If I don't, is there a problem?" "How fast should relationships move, in the beginning?" "What's a warning sign of a toxic relationship?" "What do I do if I want to move forward, but my partner doesn't?" I'll be discussing all these questions, and more, on today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Are there questions that you have? Let me know, either in the comments below or by contacting me through my website: www.growingself.com I'll be glad to answer them in an article, on an upcoming podcast! xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Listen Now. (Music Credits: The Last Shadow Puppets, "My Mistakes Were Made For You.")

21 Syys 201545min

Every good life coach and therapist knows that, for many of our clients, finding forgiveness can be an incredibly important and powerfully healing part of the personal transformation process. This is true for both individuals, and for relationships. Holding on to anger -- either towards yourself or someone else -- will only hold you back, and create more problems for you. On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we're going there. I'll be talking about how to release anger, find forgiveness... and set yourself free. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com   (Music Credits: "The Fog," by The Amazing)

31 Elo 201539min

How to Make Your Blended Family Work Despite the best of intentions, some marriages just don't work out. Many, if not most, people do go on to find love again, and eventually remarry. It's not uncommon at all for second marriages to involve children from previous relationships, creating step-families or "blended families." Here's the deal: You can fall in love with your dream-partner, and have an amazing relationship. You can laugh, be best friends, be romantically compatible, love all the same things, communicate beautifully... and still have an extremely difficult time weathering the ups and downs of (normal and expected) blended family problems. I say "normal and expected" because there is always friction as people are learning how to live with each other and love each other. Blended families have more friction because they involve more people. Sometimes, it's a lot of friction before you get things worked out. In fact, most couples are absolutely shocked at just how hard the experience of creating a blended family can be.  Furthermore, it's really almost impossible to know, in advance of your remarriage, what the "hotspots" and triggers for with each other and your respective kids are going to be before you all begin living under the same roof. While premarital counseling can help prepare your blended family for success, you often just can't anticipate what problems are going to come up until you do it. So on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast I'm discussing the factors that lead to blended family problems, and how you can circumvent them (or repair them, if you're already going through this). By understanding the emotional dynamics at work in your blended family, and having a plan for how to negotiate them, you can create a happy, supportive and peaceful blended family experience. Really!

17 Elo 201539min

On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with Sir John Hargrave about his new book, "Mindhacking." In it, Sir John takes a fresh and funny look at how our thoughts determine both our emotions, and our reality. Mindhacking is based on tried and true methods for learning how to create a "Happy Mind" -- Cognitive Therapy and Mindfulness Training. Both are reliable, helpful strategies that have been used by decades by life coaches and therapists. But Sir John uses the metaphor of computer programming to understand how to reprogram your brain to get better outcomes. I really enjoyed talking with Sir John about his ideas, as we share so many of the same evidence-based views on how people change: • How self awareness of your "old patterns" is the first step in creating new ones • How essential mindfulness skills are to feeling happy and well • And how learning how to shift your thoughts allows you to create healthy new feelings AND behaviors. So listen to our conversation and learn how to improve your mental focus, "debug your mind" of problematic thoughts, and create your very own Reality Distortion Field -- just like Steve Jobs! Learn more about Sir John Hargrave and Mindhacking on his website: www.mindhacki.ng Click here to pre-order your copy of Mindhacking (Due out in January) Find out more about Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby and her Online Counseling and Life Coaching practice, or sign up for The Happiness Class at www.growingself.com.

3 Elo 201547min

SO many of our therapy or life coaching clients come to us with one core wish: To be happy. No matter what their current concerns, obstacles, or challenges, the hope of happiness is always the shining star that pulls them forward into life coaching. But sometimes it can be hard to know what being happy actually means. Truthfully, "happiness" means different things to different people.  Learning about other people who have followed their heartfelt values into genuinely happy lives can inspire us to do the same. The stories of others can light a lamp on our own path, and our own possibilities. Even if your values may be different, knowing that other people have taken bold action to create a meaning and joy can light a spark of inspiration for you to do some deep reflecting on what makes you happy -- and how you might take action to make big changes too.  On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm talking to a couple of Nomadic Souls who have discovered that for them, happiness is very much a journey rather than a destination. Listen to my interview with full-time travelers Kimberly Travaglino (Founder of Full-time Families) and Clementine Bakstein about how they and their families found happiness, meaning, and connection by following their values down the never-ending road.  All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

27 Heinä 201553min

Why Is It So Hard To Change... For Long? People start coaching or counseling eager to jump in and make new things happen. That is admirable, and enthusiasm is certainly the catalyst for great things. We must have hope in order to even try to change.  We all start out with grand plans and make sweeping, dramatic gestures to mark our transition into a better life: Buying personal productivity solutions, new workout clothes, cutting up all the credit cards, throwing away the half eaten bags of Ruffles, making solemn promises to be nicer to your partner, or flushing the cigarettes down the toilet.  Things are going to be different now. These rituals of change feel like the door to a new life, and we feel very pleased with ourselves for several days. But then.... it gets frustrating. Things get hard, get annoying, get boring, or we get upset and sure enough -- snap right back into our old patterns. It's easy to feel discouraged and get tricked into believing that you can't do it. But you can, my friend. You most certainly can. You can have it all. You can have better relationships, loose weight, save money, achieve your goals, be healthier, sleep better and feel happer.  Your ability to change your life is the same as everyone else's. What is the key to making lasting change? Listen to this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast and find out. xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com The Secret To Changing Anything. (And Everything.) Listen Now. Music Credits: Echo and the Bunnymen Like this podcast? Don't forget to subscribe on iTunes!

28 Huhti 201529min

Have you ever wondered what mistakes you might be making in your relationship? Or why new relationships seem to fizzle before they get off the ground? Relationship Expert and Dating Coach Stephan Lebossier is not afraid to tell you exactly what the problem is, and how to fix it. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm asking Stephan all your burning questions: What are some of the biggest mistakes men and women make in relationships? How can you become more attractive? What do you need to do to establish trust in a relationship? How can you open yourself up to love again, when you've been hurt in the past? His answers might surprise you! Get Ready For Love: Listen Now Questions? Comments? Ideas for the next show? Get in touch! www.growingself.com

7 Huhti 201549min